I agree, they aren't ready to have sex, but if you think about it, sex is actually part of a broader continuum of human action. It's like that
old Monty Python skit, "don't go leaping straight for the clitoris! Start with a kiss."
For younger teenagers, simply talking to another person in which you are attracted and learning how to interact positively is more then enough. Other forms of intimacy can build around that.
Anytime an adult takes advantage of a child or young adult, that's vile. Those people should be rightly shunned.
However, consider the following story about my grandmother. In 1939, when she was 14 years old, she met a man who was ten years older. He was in the army and was young and exciting and she had a very difficult relationship with her parents. So, the next year, she ran off with him to Fort Robinson Nebraska and got married. They lived together as husband and wife and he was deployed to the Pacific. After Pearl Harbor, she moved to San Francisco and worked in the factories producing goods for the war effort, in order to support her husband. My grandmother was Rosie the Riveter! When the war ended, he came back and they promptly had six children.
Under today's laws, my grandfather would be considered a sex offender. He would be considered a pariah and would have a legal stigma attached to his name. So, what's the difference between 14-15 year olds then and now?
I think one huge aspect that is being ignored in this discussion is that childhood has been extended far beyond what would be considered natural. There's a reason why so many of the adulthood ceremonies took place right after puberty. In general, these ceremonies meant that you were ready to start learning how to be an adult and would be extended the benefits of adulthood when you were capable of handling the responsibility. This seems to be a much more fair system then we have now. A system where you reach a magic age and suddenly are granted full majority status ignores the fact that sometimes people below that line are ready for them sooner and that some people above that line still aren't ready for majority rights.
The bottom line is that we aren't dealing with children anymore once a child goes through puberty. We need to assume that we
might be dealing with responsible young adults. In my experience working with young people, I've found that if you expect teenagers to act like children, they will. However, if you expect them to learn full adult responsibility, give them room to fail and learn, and try again, they quickly learn how to be adults.
Tez3 - maybe you can give us a little insight into how the Bar Mitzvah ties into this. I'm curious.
