Okay. I'll try to address things point by point.
Ok, so we'll forget about that. So, barring any physical contact, as I said, teach them right from wrong, in the beginning. As soon as there's a screw up, correct it! Don't let it slide, do something. Tell them in a firm tone. If it leads to taking away the car, the phone, a toy, whatever, then do it.
Would you agree/disagree with that? Feel free to list any other options that you have.
I think you're on to something, but there are limits to this. First, I would say that it's less about being strict as it is about being consistent.
Being a tyrant is as likely to backfire as not. I dated a judge's daughter in high school. He was as strict and stern as you can imagine. I've already told you what kind of a teenager I was. Why do you think she was dating me (other than my charm and sense of humor?) She was rebelling because her father was so strict it was oppressive.
I believe that most standards are a little fluid. Some are not. Treating every standard and expectation the same, holding the child absolutely accountable, will likely not have the intended results. It will muddy the waters to the point that they cannot distinguish between what is important and what is not important.
Being consistent means having standards that are reasonable while also picking your battles. The specific standards are less important, in my opinion, than the consistent application of those standards by both parents. It's not as much about what you say yes and no to as it is that both parents are a united front.
That's correct....my opinion is just that...an opinion. My apologies if thats what it implied. It would seem though, that if someone is allowing their kids to run around like animals, they a) think that behavior is perfectly normal or b) have no control over their kids. And I strongly disagree with that 'kids will be kids' BS. No, sorry, not all kids run around raising hell in a store. Shame that people with kids like that are so blind, and as I said before, should their little wild child get hurt, somehow its the stores fault. Again, I call BS on that. Its the parents fault!
I have a question. Can you think of some reasons why a parent doesn't have control over his or her kids? Just, if you had to guess, would you say that most of these parents with out of control kids
don't know how to parent or
don't care how to parent? I get the impression you think that it's more in the "don't care" column. Am I wrong?
I'm sure someone is bound to say that it's impossible to know what your kid is doing all the time. I'll agree that that's partially true, but you should know something. Seems to me...and quite a few others, that TM wasn't the angel he was portrayed to be. Either his parents are clueless, didn't care, thought that what he was doing was normal. The list goes on and on.
Okay, so let's say you've got a kid who's having trouble. You've removed him from the environment. You're doing some things to try and keep him out of trouble. What are you advocating? Should he have been on lock down? I mean, I'm not sure what you're suggesting. Your son is rebelling. He's doing things you know are not good. You've grounded him and it hasn't worked. What do you do? Ground him until he graduates? Give him a room with a cot and feed him gruel until he's ready to be released into the wild? Send him to military school and wash your hands of him? Seriously. What are you suggesting, because I know real people, good people, with kids who got in with some bad kids, who've been in this very same situation. What would you do?
I gave some suggestions earlier as well as in this thread. Not sure what else I can offer. Sounds like a lot of it is common sense and good judgement....things that sadly, seem to be lacking. Make no mistake about it...I've seen my share of kids out with their parents, in restaurants, in stores, etc, and you'd never know the kid was with them.
Maybe we're doomed and the kids coming up now will truly be the end of America as we know it.
