Zimmerman to face Wrongful Death Civil Trial

[MJS]

I have three. A 17 year old son, a 16 year old daughter and a 4 year old daughter. How I handled it depended upon what they were doing and how old they were. About the only time my options were limited would be if we were in public, and that's pretty much the easiest to handle. If my toddler doesn't listen, we just leave. Had to do that once.

Some tactics I use extensively with my older kids is positive reinforcement and coaching. I try not to give them answers they don't ask for. Instead, I ask a lot of questions. "Hey, that project is coming up. How's that going? What's your plan? Do you need anything from me?" Or, "Hey, how'd that project go? You were trying X, how'd that work? Did your teacher notice X?" Basically, I just try to ask them the questions that they will eventually need to ask themselves. Frankly, they're pretty awesome, and I don't have too many issues with them. They are not issues when we're out.

With toddlers, they aren't ever issues when we're at someone else's home, because my wife and I are consistent at home. She knows how to behave and I can't recall a time she misbehaved at someone else's house. She's well aware of what we expect.

I'm a big fan of positive reinforcement, deflection and the false dilemmas (basically, giving her two choices, both of which I'm okay with.) If she were to act out, we'd just leave, but honestly, the only time I could conceive of her getting so punchy and bored is if I didn't plan ahead enough. When we're in the store, I give her little jobs to do to keep her busy, and if we're going someplace where she might get bored, I make sure to bring a coloring book, a game or the iPad.

Well, IMO, that sounds like a great plan Steve.

On another note, this is something that happened recently:
http://www.courant.com/community/ha...ator-assaulted-0803-2-20130802,0,634098.story

HARTFORD — Four days after he was robbed and beaten while walking home from work, Carl Hardrick, a city activist and violence mediator, is looking for the silver lining.

Hardrick was less than a mile from his home on Monday at around 10:30 p.m. when about five or six young people tried to rob him, and assaulted him, near the intersection of Canterbury Street and Westbourne Parkway.
"All of a sudden I get hit, side of the back of the head, you know. Bang," he said. "I asked the kid, 'What are you doing?'"
The youths forced Hardrick to the ground and hit him several times; police said they were heard saying "run his pockets."
Hardrick said he was dazed and tried to get up several times, but was knocked to the ground repeatedly. He was finally able to get away and the suspects took off. His square, black-rimmed prescription glasses were stolen.

Police also warned residents about a group of four to five teenage males who have been involved in night-time street muggings recently. They are violent and target victims who are walking alone, police said.

Shame that people can't walk, without some punk pieces of ****, mugging them. I have to wonder....where are the parents? Are they just as trashy as their kids? What would be nice to see, is some success with the victims. Imagine the outcry, and all the people saying how 'good' their kid was, if the victim had a ccw and shot one of these punks. Personally, no tears would be shed from me!

 

[MJS]

Another example of a less than fine parent starting her kid off on the wrong foot.
http://www.wfsb.com/story/23053739/west-hartford-mom-arrested-for-letting-child-shoplift

FARMINGTON, CT (WFSB) - Farmington police arrested a mother who was allowing her child to shoplift at a store inside the Westfarms Mall.
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Police said 30-year-old Sereisopheak Preap of West Hartford was allowing her 10-year-old daughter to shoplift merchandise from Lord & Taylor on Saturday. Police said Preap was making no attempt to stop her child, too.
Preap is charged with fifth-degree larceny and risk of injury to a minor.
She was released on a $5,000 bond and is due in court on Aug. 13.

 

[Steve]

Hey, MJS. I'm not sure I understand. There are plenty of poor parents, whether through lack of interest or lack of skill. My point earlier was that we don't (IMO) have enough information to declare that TM's parents are unfit. Rather, I believe we can point to many of the same things any one of us might have done faced with a child having problems.

Also, I and others have given examples of situations where good parents have had troubled teens. I was frequently in trouble. Ballen's sister is another from this thread. "Good" parents sometimes have troubled teens. Being a "good" parent doesn't guarantee perfect children.

 

[granfire]

Hey, MJS. I'm not sure I understand. There are plenty of poor parents, whether through lack of interest or lack of skill. My point earlier was that we don't (IMO) have enough information to declare that TM's parents are unfit. Rather, I believe we can point to many of the same things any one of us might have done faced with a child having problems.

Also, I and others have given examples of situations where good parents have had troubled teens. I was frequently in trouble. Ballen's sister is another from this thread. "Good" parents sometimes have troubled teens. Being a "good" parent doesn't guarantee perfect children.

Considering that you feel parents who use spanking as a tool have failed....

No, there is not enough evidence to judge them on their parenting skills....
But there is enough to show that they are either ignorant or delusional....the boy was by no means the angel they said he was.
But then again...
That means they were oblivious (as in failure to check up on his activities) or worse.

 

[Steve]

Considering that you feel parents who use spanking as a tool have failed....

You didn't finish your sentence, granfire. Considering that I feel parents who use spanking as a tool have failed... what?

No, there is not enough evidence to judge them on their parenting skills....

Right. Exactly.

But there is enough to show that they are either ignorant or delusional....the boy was by no means the angel they said he was.

They loved their child and he is dead. I'll give them a pass. No, not even a pass. I would expect nothing less from caring parents.

But then again...
That means they were oblivious (as in failure to check up on his activities) or worse.

Wow. You're harsh, granfire. You are quick to judge other parents, whether it's the Martins or the other parents you deal with in your band boosters. Must be tough being the only good parent around. You should write a book on it.

 

[MJS]

Hey, MJS. I'm not sure I understand. There are plenty of poor parents, whether through lack of interest or lack of skill. My point earlier was that we don't (IMO) have enough information to declare that TM's parents are unfit. Rather, I believe we can point to many of the same things any one of us might have done faced with a child having problems.

Also, I and others have given examples of situations where good parents have had troubled teens. I was frequently in trouble. Ballen's sister is another from this thread. "Good" parents sometimes have troubled teens. Being a "good" parent doesn't guarantee perfect children.

I guess my point was this...did TM's parents know what their child was doing? Seems like a lot of stuff has surfaced in this thread, basically painting TM the opposite of the little angel that many have/are painting him as. If they knew nothing about their child, I suppose we can ask why? If that was the case, then it would sound like they weren't involved in their kids life. If they did know, and chose to do nothing, well, how can his parents turn around and make him so innocent?

 

[Steve]

I guess my point was this...did TM's parents know what their child was doing? Seems like a lot of stuff has surfaced in this thread, basically painting TM the opposite of the little angel that many have/are painting him as. If they knew nothing about their child, I suppose we can ask why? If that was the case, then it would sound like they weren't involved in their kids life. If they did know, and chose to do nothing, well, how can his parents turn around and make him so innocent?

But we know that they did something. At the very least, they changed his environment. That's why he was in the neighborhood in the first place. Look, let's be clear. We don't know how they parented tm. The point is exactly that. Were they unfit parents? We don't know. As I've said, there is evidence to suggest otherwise.

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