TEN little candidates
All upright folks, you'd think;
One bounced a hundred checks or so
which caused an awful stink;
Said he, "Somebody set me up,
the charges I deny"
That brings our number down to nine
Oh sure, and horses fly.
TEN little candidates
Still in the race somehow;
There's one, we hear, who dodged the draft,
Said he, "Don't have a cow!
I sweated bullets building my political career"
You'd think by now there would be eight;
Get real--they're all still here.
TEN little candidates
Will stay the whole race through;
One took some "contributions"
from an S&L or two;
Said he, "I've been the victim of an underhanded plot!"
In case you wonder where we stand,
We're down to seven-NOT!
TEN little candidates
Still running , if you please;
One has an anti-rights record
that reaches past her knees
Says she, " the Constitution's law,
I'll guard it to my death",
You say we should be down to six?
Oh yeah? Don't hold your breath.
TEN little candidates,
Exploiting any niche,
Says one, " We shouldn't fight a war
to benefit the rich!"
"The soldiers we've sent over there",
he said, "Must soon be gone".
Then votes for a deployment surge.
We're down to five? Dream on..
TEN little candidates,
The cream of politics,
One smeared her foe with campaign ads
'midst other dirty tricks.
Says she, "My staffers are to blame,
they planned it all themselves"
Which brings our number down to four
if you believe in elves.
TEN little candidates,
rehearse their stupid grins,
One does the holy-roller act,
attacking people's sins,
Says he, " Accept me as God's voice,
Go where I point my staff"
You say we should be down to three?
Ha-ha! It is to laugh.
TEN little candidates,
are on the screen today,
Says one, "Two parties aren't enough,
I'll start a new Third Way!
I'll do what's best if you'll just hitch
your wagon to my star"
You say we should be down to two?
Nice try, but no cigar.
TEN little candidates,
to shake the hand of Fate,
One claimed he was "pro-family"
while cheating on his mate,
Says he, "Don't take some bimbo's word,
she's only spouting lies!"
Guess what? The number hasn't changed--
SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
TEN little candidates
who will not disappear,
And please don't ask me to explain
how come they're all still here,
We'll find out on Election Day
Which one the voters choose,
Although by now, it should be clear--
Whoever wins, we lose.