Walking away

[Headhunter]

It's funny how people are quick to call me a liar for no reason. Same has happened on every thread I've posted about my club...

 

[Headhunter]

This is very true, I have experienced it myself as a student. The way I was throwing punches in one class was negatively influencing how I was throwing punches in the other class because the method was similar, kind of, but different. And those minor details actually did make all the difference in the world. Regardless of which class I was in, my punches were always being corrected, either more this way or more that way, because I was right between the two methods and that meant it was wrong for both methods.

I find it kind of weird that so often people want to dictate to the teacher how they train. Sometimes the teacher actually does know what he is talking about, and if a student is not prepared to follow the instruction, then he really should go elsewhere.

Yeah sure he does he knows what he's talking about about kenpo and that's great but I want to do more than just kenpo and actually I am prepared to follow his instruction and had been happily doing so. I was simply adding more to that base. But I haven't changed a thing about my kenpo because of it so it's really no issue.

 

[Flying Crane]

and sometimes after black belt the student knows what they are doing, and what they want and the teacher should allow the student to develop without trying to turn the student into a photo copy of the teacher.

Sure, yeah, sometimes. It depends.

 

[Flying Crane]

Um I've trained in hundreds of gyms because I moved around a lot...and if I couldn't focus on anything I very much doubt I'd be a black belt would I...I'm hardly spreading myself to thin I'm doing 2 other classes...and I am focused on what the class is teaching I listen and am respectful to what's said and don't contradict based on anything else I hear

Well, that is your perspective, and that's fine.

Seriously, I have no dog in this fight and I'm just giving you a different perspective. You can take it or leave it. I wasn't there to witnes the events so I don't know what actually happened.

But I'll ask you a quick question: do you want people to just tell you what you want to hear, or do you want people to give you something potentially valuable to consider, even if it wasn't what you were hoping to hear?

It's up to you.

 

[Flying Crane]

It's funny how people are quick to call me a liar for no reason. Same has happened on every thread I've posted about my club...

I haven't seen anyone call you a liar.

 

[JR 137]

Well now I know for certain I can't be part of your school.

In theory, neither would I. Unfortunately, and against what I thought my marriage would be like, it's not a problem for me, so it all works out in the end

I'm glad my wife doesn't read this

 

[Headhunter]

So today I did reach out to my instructor to try and sort things and explain it better.

Thing Is people theres reasons why I can't just train 2 days a week. Training is my coping mechanism to some bad stuff that's happened to me. If people don't know just look in my thread history I'm not going into it again. So I want to train to help myself in that aspect. My instructor didnt know this as I don't often talk about that stuff.

But I decided today to tell him so maybe he'd understand and there's no bad feelings or any disrespect intended in what I did. I wasn't going to roll over and say I'd agree because that won't happen.

But well I explained it all to him including my personal stuff and this was his response. "It doesn't matter what issues you have. Kenpo should be enough to furfil you and if it's not then maybe you're not that good at kenpo if you can't see how much more there is dont blame your inadequacies on your dead wife."

Now that seriously pissed me off and I just left. I've said I still have respect for him but after that all respect is gone. Now I'm sure people will say I'm lying about this to but I'm not so whatever I know now I'm totally finished with kenpo

 

[Touch Of Death]

I don't see how me doing Jiu Jitsu will give me bad habits for karate....

Jiu Jitsu guy are very grabby.

 

[Flying Crane]

So today I did reach out to my instructor to try and sort things and explain it better.

Thing Is people theres reasons why I can't just train 2 days a week. Training is my coping mechanism to some bad stuff that's happened to me. If people don't know just look in my thread history I'm not going into it again. So I want to train to help myself in that aspect. My instructor didnt know this as I don't often talk about that stuff.

But I decided today to tell him so maybe he'd understand and there's no bad feelings or any disrespect intended in what I did. I wasn't going to roll over and say I'd agree because that won't happen.

But well I explained it all to him including my personal stuff and this was his response. "It doesn't matter what issues you have. Kenpo should be enough to furfil you and if it's not then maybe you're not that good at kenpo if you can't see how much more there is dont blame your inadequacies on your dead wife."

Now that seriously pissed me off and I just left. I've said I still have respect for him but after that all respect is gone. Now I'm sure people will say I'm lying about this to but I'm not so whatever I know now I'm totally finished with kenpo

Ok well, that is some heavy perspective, and respects to you for sharing it with us.

I'm not just trying to give you a hard time here. Context matters, and thanks for filling it in a bit more. It does sound to me like you made the best decision for you. I hope your training goes well.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Without reading the other responses, it makes perfect sense to me. Kenpo is a System. These other styles are not part of the package. Even learning techniques from a Kenpo school down the road, won't help you. Learn their system, or go. It is that simple. When you have your own Kenpo school, change it up. It's your school.

It doesn't make sense to me. Studying other work is not the same as not learning their system. The two are not mutually exclusive. If he hadn't been learning the Kenpo system, then sure, there would be room for the instructor to make some strong requests. But he'd actually taught for that instructor before, so obviously was learning the system.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So, if I was training at your school, and just started doing what ever, it is OK?

Outside the school? Sure. If you wanted to train in something else, why would I mind? Now, if you start bringing it into the school, in a way that disrupts safety or learning, that's a problem. But that's not what the conversation was about (as reported by the OP).

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I am saying his teacher can tell he is picking up bad habits that do not fit with his system, it is obvious, and annoying.

That's a different discussion. If that was the point, his instructor failed to communicate it.

 

[Touch Of Death]

It doesn't make sense to me. Studying other work is not the same as not learning their system. The two are not mutually exclusive. If he hadn't been learning the Kenpo system, then sure, there would be room for the instructor to make some strong requests. But he'd actually taught for that instructor before, so obviously was learning the system.

Maybe it is a Kenpo thing, but I saw a movie where a Kung fu teacher took insult.

 

[JowGaWolf]

It doesn't matter what issues you have. Kenpo should be enough to furfil you and if it's not then maybe you're not that good at kenpo if you can't see how much more there is dont blame your inadequacies on your dead wife.

By the way this picture isn't to make fun. That's pretty much what that statement equals to. Martial Arts will never fill those type of gaps.

If you have to do multiple martial arts to keep your sanity, then go for it. You handled yourself better than I could have. I know what my dark side is like and that would have set me off.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Outside the school? Sure. If you wanted to train in something else, why would I mind? Now, if you start bringing it into the school, in a way that disrupts safety or learning, that's a problem. But that's not what the conversation was about (as reported by the OP).

I am saying that is what it is about, and the OP can't see it.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

And I am defending that teacher, because, that stuff creeps in. Its creepy, like that.

Not always in a deleterious way. I've trained alongside people who were training multiple arts at once. Some of them, you could tell. Some, you couldn't. Even with the ones where you could tell, it was reasonably subtle. One guy who studied Shotokan Karatedo at the same time (still does both, something like 13 years in) grounds his weight differently, and strikes better and more often (and faster) than most folks. His Aikido is "heavier", but not so much so as to be a problem - it's something people with his body type often develop (strong legs, powerful natural build, a few pounds around the middle).

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Jiu Jitsu guy are very grabby.

I can agree with that. Even for me (less grabby than BJJ folks, generally), I can't spar without grabbing hands to move them out of my way.

 

[Headhunter]

I am saying that is what it is about, and the OP can't see it.

No it's not because if I hadn't told people I was doing other things no one would even have noticed

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So today I did reach out to my instructor to try and sort things and explain it better.

Thing Is people theres reasons why I can't just train 2 days a week. Training is my coping mechanism to some bad stuff that's happened to me. If people don't know just look in my thread history I'm not going into it again. So I want to train to help myself in that aspect. My instructor didnt know this as I don't often talk about that stuff.

But I decided today to tell him so maybe he'd understand and there's no bad feelings or any disrespect intended in what I did. I wasn't going to roll over and say I'd agree because that won't happen.

But well I explained it all to him including my personal stuff and this was his response. "It doesn't matter what issues you have. Kenpo should be enough to furfil you and if it's not then maybe you're not that good at kenpo if you can't see how much more there is dont blame your inadequacies on your dead wife."

Now that seriously pissed me off and I just left. I've said I still have respect for him but after that all respect is gone. Now I'm sure people will say I'm lying about this to but I'm not so whatever I know now I'm totally finished with kenpo

Wow. That's a dick move. Sorry you had to deal with that, man.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I am saying that is what it is about, and the OP can't see it.

Based on his update, and thinking back about the instructor's request for him to teach, I have a different thought. I think the instructor took his refusal to teach as an insult, and was looking for something to push him out. I've dealt with instructors (higher in an organization) who were like that.