Seriously sick of all this...

Headhunter said:
So those who keep up with my threads know my issues with my former instructor basically him upset that I'm training in other styles. But I thought it was all over now but tonight I got an email from a high ranking instructor from America who used to run the club I used to train at before moving away and starting his own club. But basically the email said I had disgraced the art of kenpo and ed parker would be ashamed of me and I am obviously not a real black belt and told me he had the power to stop me entering any kenpo school on the planet and that i shoukd be removed from the entire martial arts community and the only way to resolve all this is to go to my instructor get on my knees bow to him and remove my black belt and put on a white belt and offer to start from scratch.

Yeah I reckon this will sound fake to some because it's so ridiculous but sadly not...at first I thought it was a hoax from a friend who was just having a laugh making fun of the whole situation but no that was the offical email....and I've met that guy once or twice but my instructor obviously gave him my email address.....frankly I am seriously pissed off now and I was more than happy to let this slide but this is getting close to harassment levels now.
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It might be time to cut your belt into little pieces, shred your certificate, and mail it back to your former instructor. Or maybe to this clown. Or maybe some pieces to each of them. And maybe piss on the pieces before you wrap them up.

I'm not joking.
 
Flying Crane said:
It might be time to cut your belt into little pieces, shred your certificate, and mail it back to your former instructor. Or maybe to this clown. Or maybe some pieces to each of them. And maybe piss on the pieces before you wrap them up.

I'm not joking.
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That's what they want.

Best to just laugh at them and continue on.
 
Headhunter said:
If you didn't do anything wrong then you shouldn't have to apologise I'd never apologise for this because frankly I did nothing wrong. I don't care how much I respect someone for their skills I'm never going to bow down to them and act like they're a god that's just not me (not saying you're doing that either by the way just meant in general)
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In some school people are just really over sensitive so they get offended at the smallest things. Look at the Tai Chi, MMA fight and how offended China was about it. They were just greatly embarrassed about something that really wasn't that embarrassing to anyone but the Tai chi guy. I think this is what you are dealing with. They may be embarrassed by how you speak your mind. For me personally I see this and an EGO issue where they should accept that they felt embarrassed by your comments and keep moving on. It's not a big deal. I agree with you 100% that you shouldn't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong. But then that goes back to the cultural clash. What's wrong for them may not be wrong for you or anyone else, like me. I also agree about not bowing. I'm not Japanese and the bow on the knees in a submissive posture is really outside of my comfort zone. It's one thing to do it out of respect and it's another thing to do it to another person as a form of apology. To place myself beneath another man in submission to his will would be tough for anyone.

Headhunter said:
To many instructors seem to think that having a high rank means they can tell people how to live their entire life. Well to me an instructor is simply someone who teaches in class they have no authority outside their class they're just a normal person the same as me outside a school
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You are correct and that's the culture of many Martial arts schools. I even see it in Jow Ga schools but not to the extent that you are experiencing it. Asian cultures have a more formal presentation of respect and some schools try to implement that to people from western cultures and it rarely sits well. You would basically have to give up your own cultural beliefs to do what they are asking you to do. I can't see anyone doing that.
 
Email him telling him you're mailing him your black belt as a sign of respect.

Drop a deuce in a box and mail it to him. Including the belt in the mess is optional.

A friend of mine was fired from a job because his boss thought he was sleeping with his wife. He wasn't. He was giving my friend bad references, bad mouthing him to anyone who'd listen, etc. And he was dwelling on my friend returning a shirt with the company logo on it. My friend got fed up with it, so wiped himself with the shirt and mailed it to him. It all stopped after that.

Edit: Make sure it's not a crime. I can see someone pressing charges saying you're using biological weapons/biohazardous materials.
 
I would leave for a few months and practice on my own. If staying away feels good then I wouldn't go back. Based on what the OP has said, I don't see how he can be happy training there.
 
Flying Crane said:
It might be time to cut your belt into little pieces, shred your certificate, and mail it back to your former instructor. Or maybe to this clown. Or maybe some pieces to each of them. And maybe piss on the pieces before you wrap them up.

I'm not joking.
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Jesus Christ.
 
CB Jones said:
That's what they want.

Best to just laugh at them and continue on.
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Nope, I'm not saying he should stop training. But this would send a message that what he got from them holds no value. A full separation from them, as well as a rejection of them.

He can buy himself a new belt.

What they want is for him to want them.
 
JowGaWolf said:
I would leave for a few months and practice on my own. If staying away feels good then I wouldn't go back. Based on what the OP has said, I don't see how he can be happy training there.
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You actually think I'd ever go back there???....hell no I wouldn't go back there if they paid me after all the crap they've said and done
 
jobo said:
well done, you have left a cult and that's not easy
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It was never not easy for me. I've never been one to get brainwashed by an instructor I've seen people who'd do anything for their instructor. I've never been that way about anyone. I respect my teachers skills and I'll always show them respect In class but outside the martial arts setting they're nothing speacial they're no better than me as a person so why should I act like they're the boss of me outside the club. I've seen people who call their instructor Sensai or sir during a night out in a pub and that's just not me. I don't care who it is. If bruce lee came over and told me to wash his car for him I'd tell him where to go. People seem to think just because you run a school it means you can run someone's whole life and I've always made sure to never let that happen
 
Headhunter said:
It was never not easy for me. I've never been one to get brainwashed by an instructor I've seen people who'd do anything for their instructor. I've never been that way about anyone. I respect my teachers skills and I'll always show them respect In class but outside the martial arts setting they're nothing speacial they're no better than me as a person so why should I act like they're the boss of me outside the club. I've seen people who call their instructor Sensai or sir during a night out in a pub and that's just not me. I don't care who it is. If bruce lee came over and told me to wash his car for him I'd tell him where to go. People seem to think just because you run a school it means you can run someone's whole life and I've always made sure to never let that happen
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yes I can see your strong minded and its that strong mindedness that has caused the issue, refusing to let yourself be exploited, but the fact you are letting it upset you shows they did indeed have,a degree of hold over you
 
jobo said:
yes I can see your strong minded and its that strong mindedness that has caused the issue, refusing to let yourself be exploited, but the fact you are letting it upset you shows they did indeed have,a degree of hold over you
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No I don't care at all what they think of me they can call me what they like but when I'm getting emails off a guy I barely know when I'm getting texts telling me how bad I am when I hear from friends of mine who train there that they're constantly talking trash about me and telling people to not go near me it's going to wind anyone up. I'm not upset over it I'm pissed off over it.
 
Headhunter said:
No I don't care at all what they think of me they can call me what they like but when I'm getting emails off a guy I barely know when I'm getting texts telling me how bad I am when I hear from friends of mine who train there that they're constantly talking trash about me and telling people to not go near me it's going to wind anyone up. I'm not upset over it I'm pissed off over it.
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id take knowing how much they are upset by my actions as a compliments, it really is,cult like behaviour on their part, forbidding others from associating with you, dear god.

don't let it piss you off, you stood up to them, that's clearly not what they are used to, the best advice would probably be to ignore and forget, but id find to hard not to keep poking them with a mucky stick to annoy them even more
 
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