I think the problem is this, both sides are right and wrong at the same time.
If we are going to fight and go to war, we need to go all out. If we are going for peace and want to talk and educate, we need to got all out.
Who are we fighting? A group of people? So why are we attacking a nation? By attacking a country we are creating terroists. For each person we kill, their friends and family will take up arms. They will continue to retaliate as long as we fight. The solution? If you are going to fight, then we need to wipe out every man, woman, and child. You need to destroy their factories, their hospitals, their homes, everything. Complete genocide. This way their will be no one left to be terroists. Otherwise, only attacking a country will only make things worse. For some reason, this sounds familiar. Two middle eastern nations fighting back and forth for years and it has yet to be solved. Not to mention that Europe will have something to say about it.
If we are going the peace route, then we need to take out our troops. We need to support their governement, gain their trust, and give them support (that they asked for) in hunting down terroist groups in their own country. We sure as hell wouldn't let a european countries' military force onto our soil to destroy areas and places of suspected terrioist hideouts. By not giving the people a visable reason to hate us, then it will be hard to continue the hate. It will take decades, perhaps centuries but the better off, more educated a people are, the more likly they are to avoid violence. The problem with this is (and I support the "war people" in this thought) how do you allow murderers and people who are planning to attack you to live?
Either way, education and helping or going to war and conducting military operations, is valid, but we must fully commit one way or another. It is hard to educate and gain trust when you are fighting someone and if you are going to fight someone, get the job done or else nothing will get done. If you are not willing to completely destroy the nation and it's people, then nothing will get done and violence will keep going back and forth. This is a hard pill to swallow. On the same token, if we go the peace route, then we will have to put up with terroist attacks for a long time and suffer them while things slow down over the decades. We will have to rely on intellegence to stop the threat before it happens. That is also a hard pill to swallow. Either way, we can't do it half-assed and sacrifice will be called for either way.