Thank you Kwanjang, Shesulsa, and Disco for taking the time to think about this.
Since last Wed. I did have a confrontation and left. In the past three years discussions proved fruitless. Promises not kept, more deceit, more hidden agendas ie prevent me from teaching. I do not trust him nor will ever. So I wanted a discussion in front of the other black belts. Unfortunately, it came off as how dare you question me so I was accused of disrespect and lack of humility. And without knowing every detail-- that could be the logical conclusion. But I wanted everyone to know why I was leaving - because he made my goal invalid and it was the final straw. It was not longer something to want to achieve. He knew I wanted it badly after a year of trying to break. He wanted the other woman to supplant me as a teacher and lead woman BB.
He has made the breaking requirements easier three times before 1st dan for this woman who recently became his son's baby's grandmother. Now, with the new requirements she could do a flying side thru 2, (previous req. 3 bds. lst dan) a hopside on 2 on each leg, a forearm strike on each limb on 2, and a jump spin heel and get 2nd dan. I had to do a knife/concrete, a dropped board spin heel -1, a sidekick chambered -2, a jump back-2/jump spin heel with two finger hold-1 which I have gone through about 200 boards now and have cracked the top board 3 times but he doesn't take that as completed. He upped mine and my daughters requirements until she at 17 quit before her 2nd dan test. I trained my upper body for a year doing heavy pushups and practice on rebreakables and I finally did the knife/concrete. The other woman did not train AT ALL for her 1st dan, citing weak wrists which even though, can do T-bar pushups.
So, you can say it is petty but it is not, it is serious to get me out. Ask yourself, if someone said to you as a martial artist, that you can't do that, will never get 2nd dan because I won't let you. And you are compared to someone else all the time? What would you do?
I rose to the challenge because I had to that point trained for a year and he had just taken away my daughters chances. I did not want him to take anything away from me, it was not MY transgression. I did not seduce a student. I stood up for her and her family. I was the only one who did and they thanked me for it. So how would you get the good graces back? Hey I 've helped set up his tournaments, he needed BB's at tournaments-I judged for him, I even finally went back to the testing table to show solidaritry for the parents. He found another woman to marry within a year and I made a set of pottery bowls that took me 3 months to make for a wedding present. I even filled in when he wouldn't show up for classes and didn't bother to ask me. No he would not ask me to teach.
In front of others, one a high red, he asked her to teach right in front of me. I have been trying to get a class for two years and keep getting circumvented.
Yes, I want to do a kindler/gentler TKD for my health. I want to keep my strength, flexibility etc. I doubt I can keep it up on my own at home. I really don't have much space.
I wrote the highest ranking man he's a double 2nd dan, Karate, and TKD--under the master. He just called me today and was totally unaware of the situation but he said it explained alot. He pleaded with me to not quit and that he would support me without letting the master know that he knew. (owner of the building) Funny, he said the same thing I thought all along,that if I quit he wins. Same thinking. He also said he wouldn't go for the easier break either. I was offered the jump spin heel which I feel I could do-no sweat. But I would feel like I had accomplished nothing. No, I would have thrown all my work away and validated the new breaking rules. I would rather take off my belt and wear a white belt.
The other gal will test in Feb. and would lead the class possibly that I'm in for that matter all the 2nd dans that follow under the easy breaking rules.
I was the 3rd ever 2nd dan to test and the first woman at 53.
I don't have an option to go somewhere else at this age and start over. I am thinking about what the 2nd dan BB said. He wanted me to go back for health and go easier and ignore jumping commands, or thousands of repetitive kicks at one time. He said he would teach me since I haven't been taught anything personally for two plus years. Or I may take the summer off but then, may never restart. I just feel while I still physically can jump even though it is hard on my body, I would feel compelled to try to keep breaking if I was there. And its not just something you can lay down for while and do occasionally. Right now, I don't want to go back, I guess I've lost heart. :idunno: Thanks for your concern, TW
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