Trained vs untrained

[Headhunter]

found this on a bjj forum. Basically it's a discussion about a post where a boyfriend got tapped out by his girlfriend when play fighting and he got pissed about it. The article discusses if she was right or wrong in what she did.

This is the article.

The Importance Of Communication & Consent Between BJJ People & Untrained People


Personally I think the guy needs to suck it up. Seems like his ego was damaged more than anything else. They're having a play fight and he knows his girl does jiu Jitsu what does he expect. Just thought it'd be interesting to share and see what you guys think of this

 

[Dirty Dog]

Ego gets more people in trouble than pretty much anything else.
He should suck it up. She should give a lot of thought to whether she really wants to be with such an insecure git.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

found this on a bjj forum. Basically it's a discussion about a post where a boyfriend got tapped out by his girlfriend when play fighting and he got pissed about it. The article discusses if she was right or wrong in what she did.

This is the article.

The Importance Of Communication & Consent Between BJJ People & Untrained People


Personally I think the guy needs to suck it up. Seems like his ego was damaged more than anything else. They're having a play fight and he knows his girl does jiu Jitsu what does he expect. Just thought it'd be interesting to share and see what you guys think of this

I like the author's take on it. I don't think the GF did anything wrong, but she could have done better. When someone wants to play with me, they're going to get controlled, but I avoid chokes and significant pain unless they invite or escalate (the latter sometimes making chokes and pain the safest way to control the situation). And the guy could cowboy up a bit (to toss in a gender stereotype, for good measure).

My personal take is that if she's been studying a while, and they've been together a while (the article doesn't say), then he should know some of what she's capable of. I'd guess he was testing the waters to see how good she was, and she showed him. And he just didn't feel good - as the author pointed out, that first choke can be scary for a lot of folks. When folks are scared, they often lash out emotionally.

 

[Headhunter]

Ego gets more people in trouble than pretty much anything else.
He should suck it up. She should give a lot of thought to whether she really wants to be with such an insecure git.

Pretty much. Basically he got his *** handed to him and got upset over it. He knew to tap so he obviously knew something about grappling even if it's just watching it and he must've known his girl trains so it's not a surprise.

This reminds me of that guy who came on here saying he didn't want his girlfriend sparring in case it damaged her pretty face were his words....that guy really pissed me off for personal reasons to do with that subject

 

[Buka]

I really enjoyed that article. Thanks for posting it.

 

[Tez3]

When someone wants to play with me, they're going to get controlled

Unless they are better than you and you are being controlled.

 

[Headhunter]

I really enjoyed that article. Thanks for posting it.

That site does a lot of good articles for bjj I try and keep an eye on that forum whenever I can

 

[geezer]

Working with untrained people is even tougher in striking arts. Once, back when I was in my 20s I made that mistake with my 60-ish tipsy uncle at a family gathering. He wanted to see some of my "Krotty". We had no gear, so of course I pulled my punches and just tapped him, pretty much at will. So he got pissed, charged-in ignoring my polite taps and punched me below the belt. Ouch!

Later, we both apologized. He, for being a drunken ***, and I for being equally stupid for being sober and not knowing better than to engage with him under those circumstances. Too much ego all around.

BTW, he passed on a few years back, and I have to say that for the most part, he was a great guy.

 

[Headhunter]

Working with untrained people is even tougher in striking arts. Once, back when I was in my 20s I made that mistake with my 60-ish tipsy uncle at a family gathering. He wanted to see some of my "Krotty". We had no gear, so of course I pulled my punches and just tapped him, pretty much at will. So he got pissed, charged-in ignoring my polite taps and punched me below the belt. Ouch!

Later, we both apologized. He, for being a drunken ***, and I for being equally stupid for being sober and not knowing better than to engage with him under those circumstances. Too much ego all around.

BTW, he passed on a few years back, and I have to say that for the most part, he was a great guy.

A great guy apart from the drunken punch in the balls lol but seriously my condolences and yeah that's the good thing with grappling you can do it without hurting someone majorly. I know it's easy in hindsight but what I'd have done in your situation was get him into a wrist lock and control him. Use a gooseneck and make him dance around a bit. No serious damage, he looks a bit stupid but not badly injured and easy to laugh it off later

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Unless they are better than you and you are being controlled.

Then I just control them from the bottom. I find weeping is an excellent control tactic.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Working with untrained people is even tougher in striking arts. Once, back when I was in my 20s I made that mistake with my 60-ish tipsy uncle at a family gathering. He wanted to see some of my "Krotty". We had no gear, so of course I pulled my punches and just tapped him, pretty much at will. So he got pissed, charged-in ignoring my polite taps and punched me below the belt. Ouch!

Later, we both apologized. He, for being a drunken ***, and I for being equally stupid for being sober and not knowing better than to engage with him under those circumstances. Too much ego all around.

BTW, he passed on a few years back, and I have to say that for the most part, he was a great guy.

I had a really good training partner who had rank in TKD, who started his training in NGA after a similar incident, when he realized he didn't have good tools for controlling his drunk cousin (nearly identical situation to your uncle). I miss training with that guy. Man was he FAST!

 

[yak sao]

Working with untrained people is even tougher in striking arts. Once, back when I was in my 20s I made that mistake with my 60-ish tipsy uncle at a family gathering. He wanted to see some of my "Krotty". We had no gear, so of course I pulled my punches and just tapped him, pretty much at will. So he got pissed, charged-in ignoring my polite taps and punched me below the belt. Ouch!

Later, we both apologized. He, for being a drunken ***, and I for being equally stupid for being sober and not knowing better than to engage with him under those circumstances. Too much ego all around.

BTW, he passed on a few years back, and I have to say that for the most part, he was a great guy.

Yeah, I came to the conclusion a long time ago to not play along when someone wants me to show them something.
If I go easy then I run the risk of basically being sucker punched and maybe even injured because they didn't acknowledge what I would have done had I not held back. So I end up looking foolish.

On the other hand, if I do the technique properly, I run the risk of hurting them and I end up looking like a jerk.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Yeah, I came to the conclusion a long time ago to not play along when someone wants me to show them something.
If I go easy then I run the risk of basically being sucker punched and maybe even injured because they didn't acknowledge what I would have done had I not held back. So I end up looking foolish.

On the other hand, if I do the technique properly, I run the risk of hurting them and I end up looking like a jerk.

I have a few easy things I use when someone wants me to show them something. Grip releases seem impressive, and have little chance of anyone getting hurt - and they work even if the person tries REALLY HARD to hang on. Nerve pressure points are usually a good option, too, for folks who want to feel something. Neither is as useful as they seem in those simple demonstrations, but they impress the other person, which is what they wanted.

 

[geezer]

I have a few easy things I use when someone wants me to show them something. Grip releases seem impressive, and have little chance of anyone getting hurt - and they work even if the person tries REALLY HARD to hang on. Nerve pressure points are usually a good option, too, for folks who want to feel something. Neither is as useful as they seem in those simple demonstrations, but they impress the other person, which is what they wanted.

Not much help for us. Unfortunately, in WT/WC our "go to" grip release is also a strike.

...of course we do have other movements to release a grab (huen-sau, tut-sau, rolling-over with a kup or guai jarn, etc.) ...but using a strike, with or without the accompanying technique is the essence of our system.

 

[drop bear]

Then I just control them from the bottom. I find weeping is an excellent control tactic.

So straight up crying? Cause that would definitely put someone off.

 

[drop bear]

I have a few easy things I use when someone wants me to show them something. Grip releases seem impressive, and have little chance of anyone getting hurt - and they work even if the person tries REALLY HARD to hang on. Nerve pressure points are usually a good option, too, for folks who want to feel something. Neither is as useful as they seem in those simple demonstrations, but they impress the other person, which

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Not much help for us. Unfortunately, in WT/WC our "go to" grip release is also a strike.

...of course we do have other movements to release a grab (huen-sau, tut-sau, rolling-over with a kup or guai jarn, etc.) ...but using a strike, with or without the accompanying technique is the essence of our system.

I think I understand that (as you know, most of the WC I know I learned in this forum ). Surely there's something in your repertoire that - while not really following the major principles of WC - can be detached and used to wow folks who just want to be wowed? If not, you (meaning everyone in WC, because I get to say what you all need) need a small set of new material for just that purpose.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So straight up crying? Cause that would definitely put someone off.

Sure. Why not? I'm man enough to wimp out audibly.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

.

DB, if you meant to reply here, you fell asleep.

 

[drop bear]

DB, if you meant to reply here, you fell asleep.

Yeah. The video didn't work. But anyway I liver kick people.