The Girlfriend

[Em MacIntosh]

Companionship is lovely but there's always a price to pay. Guess that price was too expensive for you. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. I hope she can keep herself out of trouble without you. Best of luck!

 

[Sukerkin]

True. And also, you don't want to be her "Enforcer". I've known girls who act like complete arrogant jerks in bars with the expectation that their boyfriend would bail them out of any situation their mouth got them into.

I've luckily only ever been in one relationship like that - stunningly beautiful girl but she kept writing cheques with her mouth she expected my body to keep.

Fortunately, as we've discussed elsewhere, I'm a firm believer in exploring all non-violent options necessary to avoid physical conflict, with a heavy emphasis on diplomacy and negotiation. So she never, quite, got me into a punch-up thankfully.

I didn't part company with her over this behaviour tho', it was just one of rather too many unpleasant character facets that, sadly, more than offset her looks.

 

[bushidomartialarts]

Looks like you made the right choice there 10,000.

Better luck with your next partner.

 

[jdinca]

I've told her once before not to mention my MA to anyone else because there are "tough guys" who want to show you how "useless" it is. I think I was hasty to break up with her but this has happened once before for the same reasons. Last time it didn't get physical though. Also, when you spend a lot of time with your GF and a lot of time doing kung fu, you can't hide it for long. I don't think it was her intention to get me into a fight, but that's why I warned her not to talk about it. The second time is the last straw. If she wants a BF like that, she can feel free to persue one now.

Sounds like you made the right choice. To echo others, watch your back. She may bring her next BF around to "teach you a lesson".

 

[tshadowchaser]

you where provoked and struck first you had to defend yourself.
If the girl is the type to do such things you are most likely better off without her.

 

[tellner]

10,000 have you ever been around horses? A mare in season will try to provoke fights between the stallions or even the geldings if there aren't any stallions around.

Some women do this, too. That is why so many police case reports on homicides include the words "over a woman" and "alcohol involved".

Scratch that. That's why there are so many homicide case reports period.

You do not want to be around a woman who pulls this kind of ****. Run far away from her. Do not look back. Try to find a girl who won't get you measured for an orange jumpsuit or wooden overcoat. No woman is pretty enough or good enough in bed for that kind of grief.

 

[exile]

10,000 have you ever been around horses? A mare in season will try to provoke fights between the stallions or even the geldings if there aren't any stallions around.

Some women do this, too. That is why so many police case reports on homicides include the words "over a woman" and "alcohol involved".

Scratch that. That's why there are so many homicide case reports period.

You do not want to be around a woman who pulls this kind of ****. Run far away from her. Do not look back. Try to find a girl who won't get you measured for an orange jumpsuit or wooden overcoat. No woman is pretty enough or good enough in bed for that kind of grief.

My instincts run with Tellner's here completely. You noted in your OP that the guy who attacked you seemed upset at the point where you joined him and your ex-GF... according to her, though, he was laughing when she told him about your KF skills... something isn't jibing here. As Todd says: run. Run far away. Do not look back... I don't think you necessarily got an accurate view of who said what to whom; it all has a very fishy quality....

 

[Shaderon]

I'll stick a womans point of view in here.

If I was in a bar with a guy who did an MA and another guy started hitting on me, if he didn't get the message when I'd told him to back off I'd go over to my guy and quietly let him know what was going on. He would then be in a position to watch the guy in case anything happened later or decide to leave and go elsewhere.

Telling someone that your man will kick his ***, is incitement and to me it makes her as bad as him. I think you've done the right thing if she's done this before and you've already tried to talk to her, she sounds the sort of person that, if she were a bloke, would go around picking on people when drunk. Obviously she's after a storybook hero who will fight her dragons and defend her honour and be glad she's ok while he's got black eyes and bruises, these "heros" are the sort of guys that will hit someone for chatting up thier woman, but also a high percentage of these type of men are abusive to their partners too. She seriously needs to grow up before she gets hurt.

 

[Sukerkin]

Wise words 'Chelle and a sobering insight from Tellner :tup:.

 

[chinto01]

I've told her once before not to mention my MA to anyone else because there are "tough guys" who want to show you how "useless" it is. I think I was hasty to break up with her but this has happened once before for the same reasons. Last time it didn't get physical though. Also, when you spend a lot of time with your GF and a lot of time doing kung fu, you can't hide it for long. I don't think it was her intention to get me into a fight, but that's why I warned her not to talk about it. The second time is the last straw. If she wants a BF like that, she can feel free to persue one now.

I know you do not want relationship advice but if this is the second time maybe she thinks that you are a security blanket and she can say whatever she wants to whoever she wants. Does she understand why you take kung fu and what the philosophy is behind it? Might be time to have that talk with her also. Good luck and if this does not work out there are plenty of other fish in the sea grasshopper.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[10,000 Hit Combo]

Back from an interesting weekend. I went to get my stuff on sat and she had a new "freind" over. I travel light and only have one box of stuff (and a few things I won't miss) and a shoulder bag so I was in and out. I think I know what mad dogging is now. Reluctant to get into it with her I said nothing. Her new "freind" though...if looks could kill. I wonder what she says about me. On second thought, no I don't. I feel sorry for her next man. Hey! I got my stuff with a fight! I'm staying with a freind for now and looking for a new place. I think this is over and dealt with. Thanks for all your great posts guys. Anybody else with GF stories? Might as well leave this thread open.

 

[MJS]

Back from an interesting weekend. I went to get my stuff on sat and she had a new "freind" over. I travel light and only have one box of stuff (and a few things I won't miss) and a shoulder bag so I was in and out. I think I know what mad dogging is now. Reluctant to get into it with her I said nothing. Her new "freind" though...if looks could kill. I wonder what she says about me. On second thought, no I don't. I feel sorry for her next man. Hey! I got my stuff with a fight! I'm staying with a freind for now and looking for a new place. I think this is over and dealt with. Thanks for all your great posts guys. Anybody else with GF stories? Might as well leave this thread open.

Glad things are back on track for you. In the long run, you have to do whats best for you!

Mike

 

[10,000 Hit Combo]

Thanks.
By the way I got my stuff WITHOUT* a fight.

 

[Shaderon]

Well done 10,000. Breaking up with someone isn't an easy thing to do when you live with them, and going back for your stuff can't have been easy. The speed at which you were replaced says a lot about what she thought of you so I can see it's confirmed that you did the right thing in breaking it off. An experience that will teach you a lot I reckon.

 

[10,000 Hit Combo]

I don't know what I would have done if her new man "upped" me. I just stuck to my strategy. She was trying to pick a fight with me. I just told her "I'm here to get my stuff. If anyone lays a finger on me I'm calling the police. I'll be out of your hair in a minute." Despite the look on the guy's face I just gave him a nod of acknowledgement. I guess it worked. What a mean girl. I hope her new guy can defend himself! I'm still a little worried about retribution though.

 

[IcemanSK]

10K, I know it'll be tough for awhile; but I think you're better off with out her. There are other gals who could use a decent guy. You'll find em.

 

[chinto01]

Sounds like you are going to be better off without her. My suggestion is spend some time with yourself and gather your thoughts. The right one will come along when you least expect it.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[Touch Of Death]

I don't know what I would have done if her new man "upped" me. I just stuck to my strategy. She was trying to pick a fight with me. I just told her "I'm here to get my stuff. If anyone lays a finger on me I'm calling the police. I'll be out of your hair in a minute." Despite the look on the guy's face I just gave him a nod of acknowledgement. I guess it worked. What a mean girl. I hope her new guy can defend himself! I'm still a little worried about retribution though.

The cruelest thing you can do is not warn the new guy of his peril, and that is what he gets for mad dogging you.
Sean

 

[hongkongfooey]

Boy, she really works fast! What was the time frame between the fight and her finding a new victim?

 

[arnisador]

Boy, she really works fast! What was the time frame between the fight and her finding a new victim?

That time period was negative. She knew she wanted to break up with him, but she wanted it to look like he broke up with her so she wouldn't look (and feel) like the guilty party. It played out exactly as she wanted it to. She scored a full victory (sorry, dude--it happens).