This really creeps me out!

[Twin Fist]

oh man

you guys have lept from what we were told actually happened to makingit out to be sexual harassment or assualt

from what we were told, the touch was not sexual in anyway

lets keep this in perspective people

 

[shesulsa]

oh man

you guys have lept from what we were told actually happened to makingit out to be sexual harassment or assualt

from what we were told, the touch was not sexual in anyway

lets keep this in perspective people

Wow. You still really don't get it, do you?

You see ... if she's under the age of consent or their ages are far enough apart then the consent must come from her parents. And to borrow a phrase from the Tentacular Tellner, If Her Parents Aren't Complete Failures they would NOT issue their consent at any sexual contact with this man. Should they see the way they really flirt and they care at all about her, they will deem that contact as unwanted, even if her daughter is a willing participant. Hence - LEGALLY - it *is* sexual harrassment.

It is not about the intent ... it is all about the perception on the part of the younger or the recipient.

It *is* what it *is* but legally ... his life quite seriously be ruined from this.

 

[Twin Fist]

no,i get it quite well. Apparently you are not getting my point.

What we KNOW is "A"

the posters here have taken "A" and jumped to "G" and maybe even all th e way to "L"

as of RIGHT NOW, no law has been broken that we know of, and untill we know that a law has been broken, talking about this behavior as harasssment or statuatory rape is inflamatory and alarmist.

I understand the concept of "consent" quite well, and you trying to explain it to me is not required.

Even using those terms is WAY out of proportion to what we KNOW to have happened.

the OP doesnt know if they have had sex, he doesnt know that they have ever even spoken to each other outside of class

at WORST, what we KNOW is simply un-professional behavior by two uppper belts. And nothing else.Talking about what it MIGHT BE is useless since we have ZERO evidence of anything other than flirting.

or was there a post somehwere I missed from the OP saying that he saw them making out?

 

[Mr G]

Gentlemen and Ladies,
Regardless of what has legally occurred, or what ever could be prosecuted, This does not meet the standards of our community. I have (generally) found martial artists to be mature individuals.

Let's help these two grow a little:

BOTH need a gentle reminder of what is and is not tolerated within the walls of the Dojo. They are both senior belts and therefore are role models for others. They need to realize how much junior watch what they do, and they need to present a better model. The belt means more than a great kick or a perfect form. Ask them to step up or step out.

Rob, Thank you for stepping up to help the young ones...

 

[chinto]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. This has been going on for some time now. I have tried to approach the subject before with the school owner but he just seems to blow it off. He's not one for confrontation. That being said the reason I stay out of it I guess is because I don't want anything to do with it. I feel I have done all that I can do and now it is up to him. My next step is to have another conversation with him and let him know how this creeps me out. I have also considered leaving that dojo if it keeps up and going off on my own just so I am not associated with this anymore.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

I would point out that as the person in charge and the fact that you have reported the conduct to him/her... their is the possibility of an accessory charge for not taking action if any thing out of line does happen! not to mention that any charge .. weather substantiated or not will certainly end the dojo ..

 

[jks9199]

no,i get it quite well. Apparently you are not getting my point.

What we KNOW is "A"

the posters here have taken "A" and jumped to "G" and maybe even all th e way to "L"

as of RIGHT NOW, no law has been broken that we know of, and untill we know that a law has been broken, talking about this behavior as harasssment or statuatory rape is inflamatory and alarmist.

I understand the concept of "consent" quite well, and you trying to explain it to me is not required.

Even using those terms is WAY out of proportion to what we KNOW to have happened.

the OP doesnt know if they have had sex, he doesnt know that they have ever even spoken to each other outside of class

at WORST, what we KNOW is simply un-professional behavior by two uppper belts. And nothing else.Talking about what it MIGHT BE is useless since we have ZERO evidence of anything other than flirting.

or was there a post somehwere I missed from the OP saying that he saw them making out?

Right now, based solely on the descriptions given in the OP's posts, we have inappropriate behavior between an instructor and a student which is disturbing and bothering other students. It's conduct of a sexual nature. Guess what? That meets the definition for sexual harassment.

Let's move this out of martial arts. Let's say it was a youth program; you have a 20 year old counselor/program director who's flirting with a 14 year old girl. There's physical contact -- even if not overtly sexual. Is it suddenly a bit more uncomfortable? No, we don't know that there's something going on. But there's an appearance of impropriety, and there's enough that the OP has gone to the head instructor previously. You might note that I have not condemned the 20 year old; I don't know exactly what's happened. But given the circumstances -- he's making some bad choices in how he's acting around this girl. And it's something that needs to be addressed by someone in a position to observe the behavior directly.

 

[tellner]

I have (generally) found martial artists to be mature individuals.

:lol2:
:rofl:

*wheeze*

*gasp*

Yeah, generally mature individuals.