Technique of the middle finger? and foul words?

[still learning]

Hello, We grew up with our role models (mom, dad,grand parents,cousins,friends,relatives,who ever we look up too,).

Just because they use bad words or middle fingers doesn't make it right?

As we get older we can make our own choices of language to use and which fingers we want to use or not use.

When you learn this is bad? ...then a mature person learns NOT to follow those bad role models. Everyone can change if they want to.

There is NO excuse for use bad words or use of middle finger. A mature person knows this...and will not behave this way.

Growing up is NOT easy to do....any habit is hard to change...BUT can be change if you want too! .............Aloha

 

[CuongNhuka]

Ahhh yes... 'Punk Fu'... (in deep pseudo-Chinese voice) only good against newbies, back to Training Daniel-san!.... Still Learning-san...

 

[newGuy12]

Back To Training!!!

 

[Kreth]

There is NO excuse for use bad words or use of middle finger. A mature person knows this...and will not behave this way.

... in your opinion. I just thought I'd put that in since you forgot it.

 

[still learning]

... in your opinion. I just thought I'd put that in since you forgot it.

Do you believe it is just my opinion here on this? Can you imagine if our leaders (President)use those words and show there fingers at you? or your father and mother too?

How will most people react seeing someone doing those things? Mature people knows the value of correct behavior!

Some people live where these acts are consider exceptable.....(now this is my opinion here?).

Your right all the above is MY OPINION! This "One" has been known to be incorrect at times.

Thank-you for the reminder............ (all or most of the post are opinions).

Aloha (the correct answers are what you believe)........or want to believe.. just an opinion here....

 

[Kreth]

Do you believe it is just my opinion here on this?

You're right, I was wrong. There is never a time when profanity is correct.



Oh, say hi to Wally and the Beav for me, would you?

 

[Touch Of Death]

Do you believe it is just my opinion here on this? Can you imagine if our leaders (President)use those words and show there fingers at you? or your father and mother too?

How will most people react seeing someone doing those things? Mature people knows the value of correct behavior!

Some people live where these acts are consider exceptable.....(now this is my opinion here?).

Your right all the above is MY OPINION! This "One" has been known to be incorrect at times.

Thank-you for the reminder............ (all or most of the post are opinions).

Aloha (the correct answers are what you believe)........or want to believe.. just an opinion here....

Hello... Dick Cheney!!!!!
Sean

 

[newGuy12]

Well, it seems to me that its best to use standard English to communicate with. Now, I am not skilled like that. I make manner errors. I should get a good book on grammar and study it, but, there are only so many hours in the day, right? We can only study so many things. Our time is limited.

But, many people are put off by vulgarity. Don't think its not so. We all know that if people use foul words, it puts the speaker in a bad light!

 

[Kreth]

But, many people are put off by vulgarity. Don't think its not so. We all know that if people use foul words, it puts the speaker in a bad light!

It all depends on context. I'm reasonably certain that if my band is playing out, I can yell, "How the **** are you guys doing tonight?" and no one will be offended. But then some in this thread want to deal in absolutes...

 

[Sukerkin]

Not necessarily absolutes, Kreth, but certainly attitudes and inculcated standards of what is acceptable.

I've seen many bands in my time (been in a couple too) and a great many fell into the cliche trap of offensive language on the mike to prove just how out-of-control and rebellious they are. It didn't impress me when I was a 'teen and it doesn't impress me now.

I've also known many ex-servicemen whose language would fry your eyebrows. I don't like it but it's the way they talk so I filter out the curses to get to what they are actually saying - tho' I might remind them that **** is not a universal noun, adverb, preposition or verb .

Swearing only has value if you mean it and don't use it all the time. In the ever immortal words used when trying to show some behaviour as underdeveloped, it's not big and it's not clever. I try not to but I have to confess that if someones language is liberally and consistently littered with expletives then it does have the sad effect of my revising my opinion of them downwards (until I get to know them better at any rate).

Whilst I agree that in some circumstances some may find that belligerent posturing and abuse are effective deterents, I've never found a use for them. That's largely because if I'm angry or scared enough for them to come to the surface, I've reached the stage where I actually stop talking and start acting - it's a mental wiring thing :shrugs:.

It's individual as well as cultural when all is said and done but I do feel that in general terms such visceral gestures and words are best reserved for those times when a person may trully need them ... why am I reminded of Spock in Star Trek IV at this point :lol: ... "Is this not the time for a colourful metaphor, Captain?". ROFL.

 

[Kacey]

Hello, When someone shows you the middle finger? or foul words to you and "you""... got angry,mad,fear or a bad reaction to it?

Did you know they "WON" because the purpose was to get you to react that way!

It is amazing how nasty words and a sign language (middle finger) can cause people to fight or yell at each other.....shows this technique works well. (to cause a bad reaction inside of you)

The technique of the middle finger ...can it be defeated? How?

Can you win and know how to win=win here?

What are some of your suggestions for self-defense against the middle finger and "F" words,etc plus?

The above was the original question. From that perspective, it is my opinion that people who use obscene gestures and/or terms for the purpose of provoking a response - not people who are using obscene gestures and/or terms as a response - people who are deliberately provoking others are often bullies.

Does that mean that I think that all people who use obscene gestures and/or terms are bullies? Of course not - but neither do I think that it enhances conversation when any term is used as verb, noun, adjective, and preposition - it annoys me, in the same way that it annoys me to hear people use "like" or "y'know" every third word; it becomes verbal filler that exist to slow, confuse, and/or derail actual communication.

As for the actual questions - how do you react, and how can that reaction be defeated - I react, generally, with boredom or disdain, as I usually have little interest in conversation with anyone who finds it necessary to repeat any word or gesture over and over for effect, rather than using a variety of terms and gestures to add depth and detail to their communication. How that reaction can be defeated depends largely on the person who is using the terms and/or gestures, their purpose in doing so, and my interest in having a continuing relationship of any type with the person in question. If it is a short-term interaction, I will generally ignore it; if it is a longer-term interaction, I will either ignore it (in the hopes that it will go away) or discuss it (because I want to have a meaningful conversation with the person).

 

[SKB]

"IMHO" you have got to be kidding me! Do some of you not get out much? There is a great big world out there and guess what??????? People use curse words all the damn time!!! Of course in polite society, as you stick your pinky out to drink your tea, you might not but the rest of the world does!

You may look down your nose at the guy cusing you out but maybe you ought to be watching for what is coming? If I cuse you out or throw the 'bird' at you then YOU did something to piss me off!!! Not my dog died or any other babbling crap you can come up with! I am pissed at YOU you might want to set aside your thoughts on curse words and listen to what I am saying!!

If some thug starts yelling and god forbid using curse words at you the last things you want to do is turn your back on them or tell them to stop using that langugage!!!!! Think of the cursing as if a dog just growled at you or a rattler is making noise! Or here is an idea........ test your idea of just ignoring the person or whatever!

Find a dog you don't know, think of growling as cursing for dogs, now make the dog growl, keep doing what is pissing the dog off and at some point lets see if you get bit!

 

[still learning]

Hello, The world is made of "good people and "bad people."

Good behavior and Bad behavior? Choices we all can choose to use!

Use good words or bad words..(NOT A RIGHT).....using bad words/middle finger does not solve problems....only create's more tension.

We must learn how to defend ourselves with the "right" returning actions...thru ignoring, thru proper body language, a mature mind ( not acting like the losers),not being childish,positive thinking, readness, and many more positive's ways of looking at things.

Also preparing ourselves for the worst?
......................................................................................................
For those who feel it is OK to use foul words and middle fingers?
(which is a learn reactions from role models)

Cannot see other ways to react....others point of view...and no considerations of others.....this behavior is very SELFISH ACT!

To bad the world has "lots" of bad behavior's ? ..WE MUST ALL LEARN TO LIVE WITH! and be prepare to handle THEM!

Hawaii ? home of all kinds of languages and fingers).....Hula use their hands to tell a story! Many people also use the fingers to taste food?
Haven't found the best tasting finger yet! ...middle one?

Aloha (with the shaka sign)..for those who know what it is........"Howzit"..among others too (positive)

 

[Kacey]

"IMHO" you have got to be kidding me! Do some of you not get out much? There is a great big world out there and guess what??????? People use curse words all the damn time!!! Of course in polite society, as you stick your pinky out to drink your tea, you might not but the rest of the world does!

You may look down your nose at the guy cusing you out but maybe you ought to be watching for what is coming? If I cuse you out or throw the 'bird' at you then YOU did something to piss me off!!! Not my dog died or any other babbling crap you can come up with! I am pissed at YOU you might want to set aside your thoughts on curse words and listen to what I am saying!!

If some thug starts yelling and god forbid using curse words at you the last things you want to do is turn your back on them or tell them to stop using that langugage!!!!! Think of the cursing as if a dog just growled at you or a rattler is making noise! Or here is an idea........ test your idea of just ignoring the person or whatever!

Find a dog you don't know, think of growling as cursing for dogs, now make the dog growl, keep doing what is pissing the dog off and at some point lets see if you get bit!

"What is right is not always popular, what is popular is not always right" - this quote is attributed to so many people that I won't try to attribute it to a particular author - nonetheless, it makes my point quite clearly. Simply because everyone does something does not mean that that particular activity is appropriate - and too many people feel that their own negative behavior is excused by the negative behaviors of others. How many people speed, or drink and drive, or make rude comments about someone who annoys them... and then complain when they either get called on it (by the police, by others around them, etc.) or when others do the same things to them? I know quite a few - but just because many people react that way doesn't make it right - just common.

I see this all too often with students at the middle school where I teach; I will stop a student in the hallway and ask why the student did something against school rules (screaming, tripping people, kicking, grabbing things from others, etc.) - the most common answer is "s/he did it to me first". So... that means (to the students - and to way too many adults) that it is okay to break the rules in response to someone else's rule breaking first. "Someone else did it to me first" is a rotten reason to do something you know is wrong, and it's a pretty bad excuse, too.

People react without thinking when they are upset, angry, or scared - I understand that. The question is, can you modify your behavior so that you think first - instead of reacting in a way you know is wrong just because someone did something wrong to you? I can - I've spend years training myself to do just that, because, as an adult, that's the example I feel I need to set for my students (both in TKD and middle school), and because I feel better about myself when I do so - even if I ***** and moan and complain about the person's behavior later.

If you choose to react in a negative fashion, because someone was negative to you first, that's your choice, just as disliking such behavior is mine - not because I'm "looking down my nose", but because, in my experience, not responding leads to a much better outcome for me than responding, as not responding, or responding in a neutral way, is much less likely to trigger further negative events than responding - which protects me from harm. If you choose to think poorly of me for that choice, that's your option - just as my preferred reaction and opinion is my option.

 

[newGuy12]

There's far worse affronts that one can give than to curse them or make a bad gesture, that's for sure! And I, for one, have NO room to judge the actions of others too harshly.

But, if anyone ever finds themselves in a court of law, please, don't use those words or gestures. Civil proceedings separate us from the hordes of barbarians, and cursing is enough to land you in jail for a while to think about it.

I have been thinking about this. There is a certain 3 block by 11 block area of California that is ruled by a certain gang. Any kind of commerce that happens is "taxed" by that gang. They will get their money.

In such an environment, I suppose one has more to worry about than the choice of language. I just live in a more orderly area. And, some of this might have to do with getting older. Believe me, middle age is a drag. If anyone can avoid it (other than dying), please do, LOL!



Regards,

Robert