survey on being bullied

[Flying Crane]

When I was in elementary school, I was picked on a lot. Not physically bullied, but made fun of a lot. I was at a new school and was the smallest kid in class, so I had a lot of trouble fitting in.

Whenever I would go to the principle to complain, she would explain to me that things only happen if you deserve it, so if people were making fun of me its probably because I did something in the past to warrant it, and because I deserved it she wasn't going to do anything.

Holy ****.

That is the very definition of someone in the wrong line of work. I am sorry you had that experience.

 

[oftheherd1]

I don't ever remember feeling bullied in grade school. I went to a small country school so it probably was understood as losing behavior.

In high school, there were attempts to bully me. By then I had learned strategies of how to talk to them to prevent them from finding a satisfactory opening to be able to justify attacking me. Also, teachers in those days were more observant and felt obligated to intervene when they thought it necessary. They might intervene themselves or call the assistant principal, who was the school disciplinarian.

I think that all served me well though. Although now I don't suffer fools like I used to, I am still inclined not to fight unless were to be forced into it. That also fits my art's philosophy.

 

[oftheherd1]

My parents didn't go to the school district (they should have), but they did try and talk to her about other issues and got nowhere. She had a rule that no students were allowed to return to class after the bell rang. So if you forgot your lunch, your homework, your coat, you were screwed. Many kids were hungry the next day because they didn't have their lunchbox, or went home cold because they forgot their jacket.

She was horrible.

Yes, she was horrible.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in teaching jobs who should not be. The last time in Korea, my wife went to the first parent-teacher conference. She came back and told me we had to get our oldest daughter out of that class because the teacher did not like Korean/American children. I though sure she must be over-reacting (she can be that way sometimes). The next time, I went. I came back and told my wife we had to get out daughter out of that class. It took a while, and at least one other set of parents to make it happen, as well as a visit with the principal. Suddenly my daughter was sent to another class with a really good teacher. Suddenly the first teacher was sent for extra training. I don't know if she would have changed then but she getting close to retirement and I think she feared losing that and decided there were some things she could put on hold until she retired. Worked for us..

A couple of years later and my youngest daughter was in 2nd grade with a teacher who didn't want to have to get involved in anything. Including a boy who thought it was his inherent right to disrupt the class anytime he was so inclined. There was another student who decided my daughter would be a really good subject for bullying. When I talked to the teacher, she let me know that she was only responsible for what happened in her class room. I complained to my oldest daughter's 3rd grade teach. She got so angry it almost scared me.

She demanded to know the name and position of that teacher, what bus my daughter was on, exactly what and when things were happening. She told me in no uncertain terms that she would take care of it and not to concern myself with it any longer. I asked my daughter and she said she didn't know what if anything happened, but her bullyer was no longer a problem.

Sometimes the system works as it should. Sometimes it has to be prodded a bit. Unfortunately, as in your case, sometimes it doesn't help at all.

Oh, and neither of my daughters has become a bully due to their experiences.

OP, I don't know if this helps any with what you were looking for.

 

[Buka]

Worst bully I ever personally encountered was our seventh grade teacher, John Raleigh, at Boston Latin school. A monster who was eventually fired.

But a lot of kids grew up, and in their twenties and thirties, went looking for him. From what I heard, some found him. That pleases me a great deal.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Worst bully I ever personally encountered was our seventh grade teacher

I had one of those teachers in the 7th grade too. I'm pretty sure it happens more than we realize.

 

[hoshin1600]

my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.

 

[Buka]

my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.

I'm not sure about the firearm part, but I think you might be on to something with the rest.

 

[Buka]

I had one of those teachers in the 7th grade too. I'm pretty sure it happens more than we realize.

I hope not. To me, school teachers are the most important, and under paid, professions in this country. To me, not much even comes close.

 

[JowGaWolf]

my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.

I definitely wouldn't fit that. My interest in martial is directly connected to watching Kung Fu tv shows growing up. The only cartoons that were available were after school for a short period of time I think an hour. Then it was all of the game shows, soap opera, maybe a nature show or some other education show, the muppets or some action tv show, and late at night the news and British television Benny Hill, Monty Python, and Paul Hogan (Pre-Cable & Pre-MTV days). Saturdays was the big TV day for me. Early morning cartoons that seem to last for ever (maybe 2 or 3 hours tops) and then kung fu theater. I always enjoyed the idea of fighting as a kid but not the idea of being mean. Karate allowed me to satisfy my desire to hit something without it being a negative and harmful action.

I didn't get harassed until the 7th grade after moving from Georgia to North Carolina. I was considered the "country boy" by inner city kids. I never did fit in and I stayed that way until I was out of high school. During the times I was harassed by other students (A new one every few months), I did no martial arts. Got into fights and did some really horrible stuff as a teen. Stuff that to this day, I hate that I ever did. If anything Martial Arts probably reduced a lot of the personal conflict that I had within myself. It gave me something to do and a way to focus on something that was healthy for me.

As for a firearm. I've seen some messed up stuff and in my opinion more reality than I really planned on seeing. Sometimes it's nice to have a little ignorance that way, you have to see how messed up the world is. Firearms have always been a family tradition for the sake of protections. When I look back on past generations, a firearm or weapon that can killed was a necessity. Firearms have never been a thing of pride in the family. Some people are happy about how many guns they own and what type of guns they own. But for my family it's always been something that we rather not have if it was an option.

 

[Hanshi]

Yes, in elementary school and with the blessing of the so-called principal.

 

[KenpoMaster805]

yes i was bullied since i was kinder until high school but its all good at the end they became my friend I remeber whe n i was elemntary this guy keep buggin me so i karate chop him we get send to the office and he ddint mess with me anymore

 

[AngryHobbit]

Hi all,
I am interested in finding out the percentage of adult martial artists who as a child was bullied or had some reoccurring instances or singular instance with significant impact, where they were victimized in some way where no one stepped up to help. including no support or help from adults.

You may answer ..YES or NO. And may send a reply to me in a PM if you wish or answer in the thread.

No answers are actually just as important as yes.

Yes. Physically and mentally.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.

In my case, it wasn't very subconscious.

 

[Headhunter]

my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.

Nah this is how I started

Friend: wanna come to boxing with me

Me: sure nothing better to do

 

[donald1]

when i was in elementary i was bullied a little but i guess i'm the lucky one. i had some good friends that ended any bully problem pretty quickly.

 

[LinChong777]

When I was young, I was growing up and attending schools in a predominantly affluent white community. As a Chinese-American with immigrant parents, I was one of the few people with an "outsider archetype". Nerdy with glasses and foreign customs, I was targeted frequently with bullying for my different ways. I didn't even realize until much later how racially motivated the bullying was, I just thought everyone was mean. Then it all came to head one day in 3rd grade when I was jumped by 4 of my classmates at recess. It was a very enlightening experience. My dad had taught me some combatives already, and I also had a size advantage (I think that was a contributor to the bullying, as being a Chinese meant that I ought to be smaller as per the stereotype, and the other kids thought it was unfair. Kids, right?) and I successfully fought my way out of the situation. I learned that day that I was an outsider, and to expect that wherever I went. It made me hyper-aware of bullying on myself and others, and solidified in my mind that the martial arts were the way to preserve personal justice. Since then, I have stopped many instances of bullying and I'm usually the first person to engage in conflict resolution where possible. I freely give self-defense advice and give free MA lessons to my friends.

 

[Headhunter]

when i was in elementary i was bullied a little but i guess i'm the lucky one. i had some good friends that ended any bully problem pretty quickly.

I had 2 very good friends who helped me to...my right hand and my left hand lol