Pregnancy Pact ~ What utter stupidity!
- Thread starter Lisa
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Thinking back on my childhood, I believe, I was one lucky teenager.
My mom was a very forward thinking woman when it came to premarital sex. She sat on one of the school boards and pushed for condoms to be available to inner city kids. This was in the early 80's when such things were unheard of.
My Mom always said one thing to me. "Lisa, I would rather have you come home and say 'mom I am on the pill' then 'mom, I am pregnant'"
Now she wasn't condoning me having sex at a young age but she said that she would rather I protect myself then end up pregnant and having to make a decision about another human being at such a young age. Needless to say, I was the one dragging my stupid girlfriends into the free clinic for pregnancy tests and free birth control. I just couldn't believe how stupid they were or how stupid their parents were. I had one girlfriend who I took to the free clinic because she was having unprotected sex. She went on the pill but her mom found them and took them away thinking she wouldn't have sex again....uhhh..yeah...it didn't work. Within two months the girl was pregnant.
It wasn't until years later when I had my own children that I realized how life altering being responsible for another human being really is. I can't think of one other thing that could happen to a human being where you go from being a single entity to instantly (upon birth) loving completely and being willing to die to protect someone other then yourself. That is what giving birth to a child should do to you. Somehow I don't think these children realize what they are getting into.
My mom was a very forward thinking woman when it came to premarital sex. She sat on one of the school boards and pushed for condoms to be available to inner city kids. This was in the early 80's when such things were unheard of.
My Mom always said one thing to me. "Lisa, I would rather have you come home and say 'mom I am on the pill' then 'mom, I am pregnant'"
Now she wasn't condoning me having sex at a young age but she said that she would rather I protect myself then end up pregnant and having to make a decision about another human being at such a young age. Needless to say, I was the one dragging my stupid girlfriends into the free clinic for pregnancy tests and free birth control. I just couldn't believe how stupid they were or how stupid their parents were. I had one girlfriend who I took to the free clinic because she was having unprotected sex. She went on the pill but her mom found them and took them away thinking she wouldn't have sex again....uhhh..yeah...it didn't work. Within two months the girl was pregnant.
It wasn't until years later when I had my own children that I realized how life altering being responsible for another human being really is. I can't think of one other thing that could happen to a human being where you go from being a single entity to instantly (upon birth) loving completely and being willing to die to protect someone other then yourself. That is what giving birth to a child should do to you. Somehow I don't think these children realize what they are getting into.
Great points. IMHO, there is way too much dependance on it, which is why I think that there should be some cut off. 6mo, a year....a set time, long enough for someone to get a job. I don't care if you go to McDonalds from 5am-2pm and then WalMart from 6-10....do something.
Interestingly enough, 2 weeks ago, I was reading an article about pregnant teens. The focus was on a teen girl, who despite her child, still continued to go to school, is working, getting some help from her mother, who I will add is on some sort of disability for an injury, yet she is getting nothing from the father.
If you're man enough to bring a child into the world, then be man enough to step up and act like a father, by supporting that child.
Of course they don't realize what they are getting into - they are children; no matter how physically ready they may be for parenthood, in today's society they are not emotionally or mentally (and certainly not economically) ready to be parents.
About 15 years ago, I was a substitute teacher, and one day I was subbing for a special education teacher who taught students with developmental delays (low cognitive abilities). One of the girls in the class had a picture of a toddler on her desk, and I asked her if that was her little brother. She said no, he was her son and was 16 months old - she was in 7th grade. As nearly as I could figure, she got pregnant during the summer between 5th and 6th grade, when she was (at most) 11. She told me that she didn't understand what was so hard about raising kids; she didn't have any trouble with him at all during the hour every Saturday when Social Services let her see him. Granted, her IQ was in the 60s, and she was not the boy's primary caregiver - but her attitude is the same one I see from many teen parents, and it's that attitude of "what's the big deal about raising a child" that is a big part of the problem.
Heard today that the pact thing may be false. The situaton is however being investigated because these make the rate of teen pregnancy in that school 4X more than usual.
While listening to that report, it struck me that it';s not the '4X more' that all wrong. It's the very concept that a high-school has a 'usual' rate of teen pregnancy.
While listening to that report, it struck me that it';s not the '4X more' that all wrong. It's the very concept that a high-school has a 'usual' rate of teen pregnancy.
I watched that, and actually showed the lead-in 5 minutes to my (two) kids because it is so depressingly accurate!
Mayor Kirk did not invite Principal Sullivan to attend the press conference (Sullivan has not been forthcoming towards media inquiries).
Mayor Kirk reportedly met with city, school, and health leaders to discuss the issue. She didn't meet with the pregnant girls.
The Chief Exec. of the on-site school day care reported to Time magazine earlier this month that her social workers knew of the girls' plan last fall (she's since recanted).
Mayor Kirk, when questioned by a reported, indicated there was no evidence dispproving the "pact" either. FYI, I heard this tidbit on local radio, I can't cite the source.
I don't think we can draw any conclusions based on the data yet, except that the Gloucester administration is in full CYA mode.
There's an article in Salon with an interesting perspective on the subject. The author speaks as a single teenage mother who was able to function because of the help and support of people around her, many of them other single mothers.
She makes a good point. Teenagers shouldn't get pregnant. But when they do their lives aren't be over. The key to getting out from under the trouble is friends and family who can help spread the load.
If you're going to have a baby without a father around to help you or one who is around but is too young to support a family you don't have many alternatives. Without social services, affordable day care or a large extended family who can you turn to but your friends? Under the circumstances an agreement to work together so you can all get by isn't a sign of failure. It's the only way to survive much less prosper.
There's been some interesting research on smell lately. We are more aware of it than we know even though our noses are the equivalent of numb or blind by mammalian standards. It turns out that men show a marked attraction for the smell of women who are ovulating.
Now here's the fascinating part. It turns out that the HLA profile - an important part of the immune system - is expressed in odor in some pretty subtle ways. Other things being equal women who are not pregnant and men show a marked preference for the smell of a person who has a different HLA profile. But when women get pregnant or are lactating their preference changes. They show an aversion to the fascinating stranger's odor and a strong attraction for people with an HLA profile similar to theirs.
That exotic type over there who smells different may hold the key to your children being heterozygous and having the genetic equipment to survive. When it comes to surviving the burdens of pregnancy and getting the support you need to raise the infant the human tendency is to return to the close kin. They are the ones who will help. They are the ones with a genetic investment in your baby. The sperm donor might have blown in on the breeze last week and will disappear over the hill next month. This follows the basic mammalian pattern of female philopatry. Briefly stated, the tendency is for males to disperse, to go out and seek their fortunes. The females tend to stick near home and raise their offspring either close to or in actual groups of their female relatives. For more on that here's a classic paper from 17 years ago and another simulation-based one from last year. Both are well written but very technical.
It's sort of the same thing. The males won't or today more likely can't support the children they sire. The females - not close kin here but the next best thing - pool resources to help ensure their mutual survival and that of their babies. It isn't perfect. It's not even good. But when the eighty centuries of land-based male-centered families don't serve there is an older more primal pattern to fall back on. Our ancestors used it for millions of years, and it's waiting there in the back pocket of our genes when recent fads come up short.
She makes a good point. Teenagers shouldn't get pregnant. But when they do their lives aren't be over. The key to getting out from under the trouble is friends and family who can help spread the load.
If you're going to have a baby without a father around to help you or one who is around but is too young to support a family you don't have many alternatives. Without social services, affordable day care or a large extended family who can you turn to but your friends? Under the circumstances an agreement to work together so you can all get by isn't a sign of failure. It's the only way to survive much less prosper.
There's been some interesting research on smell lately. We are more aware of it than we know even though our noses are the equivalent of numb or blind by mammalian standards. It turns out that men show a marked attraction for the smell of women who are ovulating.
Now here's the fascinating part. It turns out that the HLA profile - an important part of the immune system - is expressed in odor in some pretty subtle ways. Other things being equal women who are not pregnant and men show a marked preference for the smell of a person who has a different HLA profile. But when women get pregnant or are lactating their preference changes. They show an aversion to the fascinating stranger's odor and a strong attraction for people with an HLA profile similar to theirs.
That exotic type over there who smells different may hold the key to your children being heterozygous and having the genetic equipment to survive. When it comes to surviving the burdens of pregnancy and getting the support you need to raise the infant the human tendency is to return to the close kin. They are the ones who will help. They are the ones with a genetic investment in your baby. The sperm donor might have blown in on the breeze last week and will disappear over the hill next month. This follows the basic mammalian pattern of female philopatry. Briefly stated, the tendency is for males to disperse, to go out and seek their fortunes. The females tend to stick near home and raise their offspring either close to or in actual groups of their female relatives. For more on that here's a classic paper from 17 years ago and another simulation-based one from last year. Both are well written but very technical.
It's sort of the same thing. The males won't or today more likely can't support the children they sire. The females - not close kin here but the next best thing - pool resources to help ensure their mutual survival and that of their babies. It isn't perfect. It's not even good. But when the eighty centuries of land-based male-centered families don't serve there is an older more primal pattern to fall back on. Our ancestors used it for millions of years, and it's waiting there in the back pocket of our genes when recent fads come up short.
