Conception by deception

[Touch Of Death]

You're right. It's completely unfair, and there are other examples.

I have a friend who was recently on trial for rape because he slept with a woman who was too drunk to consent under the law in his state. When he mentioned that he was also shitface drunk, the prosecutor told him that being drunk doesn't mean he's not responsible for his actions.

On one hand, it pisses me off. On the other, the pendulum is swinging. Wasn't too long ago (I mean less than 40 years) that it was legally impossible for a man to rape his wife. Women are enjoying a period of being the ones favored by law.

It will swing back soon enough, and hopefully each swing will be less extreme.

Laws such as this diminish women to second class citizens that aren't capable of making adult decisions. Women should be the first in line to get rid of this law.
Sean

 

[granfire]

Not only that, a woman can only get pregnant 1 or 2 days out of 28. However, she can get (or give) an STD 28 days out of 28.

Some STDs have an uncomfortably long incubation period, do they not?

Ah, the gift that keeps on giving...

Not sure how the pathology of those are...but some just don't go away....

 

[Kacey]

[FONT=times, times new roman]

That's...just...horrible. I can't wrap my head around it. That's not to say I don't believe it exists, it is just not something that I can fathom. At least for me, the delights of intimacy are strongly rooted in trust and respect. Doing something like that just obliterates trust.

[/FONT]

Never had an issue with condoms long-term. :idunno:

I'll go out on a limb and address the "F" word. No, not THAT "F" word the other one: Finances.

Except for the college boyfriend I had 20+ years ago, I haven't lived with anyone outside of marriage. Perhaps that makes me the odd one out...but if/when a long term relationship starts to fall apart, it seems a helluva lot less "complicated" if both people have their own place and have maintained a means of supporting themselves.

I'm assuming its also less complicated when kids are involved. Can't speak from experience, though. But that gets back to the condom usage, eh? :angel:

I'm assuming (hoping!) you mean less complicated when kids are NOT involved - otherwise I agree completely.

 

[Carol]

I'm assuming (hoping!) you mean less complicated when kids are NOT involved - otherwise I agree completely.

Aye, you're right. Less complicated when kids are NOT involved. Dang typos.

 

[Blade96]

It shouldnt matter if you're a man or a woman. No one should force or trick anybody into reproducing. Thats one reason I'm pro choice.

My ex didnt want to use a condom and obviously he wouldnt get sterilized and he said he wouldnt be upset if i got pregnant. Left all the responsibility of the BC on me. I had an appointment to get an IUD then I got fed up with it and cancelled. Why should i be the one responsible. He should have been too! But he was a selfish controlling mofo anyways. so i dumped his sorry ***.

 

[RandomPhantom700]

It shouldnt matter if you're a man or a woman. No one should force or trick anybody into reproducing. Thats one reason I'm pro choice.

As others have previously noted, this approach is all well and good when you're talking about an agreement to paint a house, or a contract to buy furniture. In those cases, if fraud's used, void the agreement. However, we're talking about conception by deception, which means there's a child involved. The only way to reverse the deception is to a) force the would-be mother to abort, or b) hold the innocent father-to-be unaccountable for the child. Obviously, neither is an option.

My ex didnt want to use a condom and obviously he wouldnt get sterilized and he said he wouldnt be upset if i got pregnant. Left all the responsibility of the BC on me. I had an appointment to get an IUD then I got fed up with it and cancelled. Why should i be the one responsible. He should have been too! But he was a selfish controlling mofo anyways. so i dumped his sorry ***.

Cheers to that.

 

[LuckyKBoxer]

the fact we are having this conversation at all is pathetic in my mind.
If you dont want to have a kid you control it, noone else. You can not claim this conception by deception bullcrap.
If you really truely do not want a kid there are plenty of options, for men and women.
You control your own body, you dont have to have sex, and if you do you have 100% options. Choose one of the three.... no sex... Vasectomy...or get your damn tubes tied.
everything else is not 100%.
take some responsibility in your lives and the argument becomes moot.. it shouldn't become my problem because someone is too ignorant or too selfish to do the right thing and ends up springing another unwanted, unsupported kid into my tax dollar lap.

 

[Touch Of Death]

the fact we are having this conversation at all is pathetic in my mind.
If you dont want to have a kid you control it, noone else. You can not claim this conception by deception bullcrap.
If you really truely do not want a kid there are plenty of options, for men and women.
You control your own body, you dont have to have sex, and if you do you have 100% options. Choose one of the three.... no sex... Vasectomy...or get your damn tubes tied.
everything else is not 100%.
take some responsibility in your lives and the argument becomes moot.. it shouldn't become my problem because someone is too ignorant or too selfish to do the right thing and ends up springing another unwanted, unsupported kid into my tax dollar lap.

But yet, it is.
Sean

 

[Nomad]

the fact we are having this conversation at all is pathetic in my mind.
If you dont want to have a kid you control it, noone else. You can not claim this conception by deception bullcrap.
If you really truely do not want a kid there are plenty of options, for men and women.
You control your own body, you dont have to have sex, and if you do you have 100% options. Choose one of the three.... no sex... Vasectomy...or get your damn tubes tied.
everything else is not 100%.
take some responsibility in your lives and the argument becomes moot.. it shouldn't become my problem because someone is too ignorant or too selfish to do the right thing and ends up springing another unwanted, unsupported kid into my tax dollar lap.

Two of the three options you mentioned are permanent (or at least semi-permanent) solutions (yes, it's possible to reverse a vasectomy, but it's hardly a decision to take lightly).

I think the implication here is not that many of these people don't necessarily want to never have children, but rather don't want children now, or quite possibly don't want children with their current partner (or aren't ready for that level of commitment yet). In which case, other methods of birth control are often used (though it should definitely be understood that none are completely foolproof other than abstinence of course).

If either partner deliberately sabotages the agreed-upon birth control methods (and yes, I've heard of both guys and girls deliberately putting needle-holes in condoms, for instance), then it is nothing less than a massive betrayal of trust. Unfortunately, it's a massive betrayal of trust that's impossible to just walk away from without large and lasting consequences...