Ouch! (The Sound of a Bruised Ego)

[Shaderon]

Just a small update. I just had my second sparring session. It was a spontaneous invitation by one of the seniors. I don't think I made any leaps in improvement, of course, but I was more aware of my stance, posture, etc. My Sifu, however, got a chance to watch me and complimented me quite a bit. Given that this is his first time seeing me spar, he thought I did pretty well and showed signs of improvement.

No doubt, I was appreciative and humbled by his comments. I honestly don't think I deserved such praise, but it's great to hear it so I can keep on going.

Congrats!!! If he gave you priase then I would fully imagine you DID deserve it! There's no point in praising someone for doing something wrong.

Well done!

 

[NDNgirl4ever]

I too am new the the martial arts (I'm a yellow belt in Shorin Ryu Karate). I just started sparring and grappling as well. I know what your saying. Most people are afraid of not looking good at first. The thing to remember is, mistakes are how we learn. I got hit in sparring because I let my guard down. Next time I'll try to remember to keep my guard up. I just had my third grappling session today, and I couldn't get out of the hold. I was a little flustrated that I couldn't, but the people I was grappling with have been doing it a lot longer than me. The key to remember is that everyone in that class was once just like you, even your Sifu. They know what it's like, and you shouldn't feel bad if you don't get it right away.

 

[Skip Cooper]

Just a small update. I just had my second sparring session. It was a spontaneous invitation by one of the seniors. I don't think I made any leaps in improvement, of course, but I was more aware of my stance, posture, etc. My Sifu, however, got a chance to watch me and complimented me quite a bit. Given that this is his first time seeing me spar, he thought I did pretty well and showed signs of improvement.

No doubt, I was appreciative and humbled by his comments. I honestly don't think I deserved such praise, but it's great to hear it so I can keep on going.

A good teacher, no matter the discipline, will praise what you are doing correctly and critique what needs attention. This type of positive motivation is critical in the development of a new student. Plus, I think that being called out by a senior student or the instructor, speaks volumes about how they felt about your first performance.

Keep working at it, the pain will become tolerable and you might even begin to enjoy it. I am one of those people who enjoy a little pain in my training. I train in hapkido and I like to feel the pain of a joint lock. If I don't feel a twinge of pain, then my partner is not applying the technique correctly. By avoiding the pain, I failing to aid in the development of my partner. He/she may need to use this technique in a real conflict and may fail due to this inconsistancy.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Do not be hard on yourself it takes time to be good at anything. Train and try to pick up the teachings of your instructor and you will do fine in the long run. Keep going!

 

[zDom]

Keep working at it, the pain will become tolerable and you might even begin to enjoy it. I am one of those people who enjoy a little pain in my training. I train in hapkido and I like to feel the pain of a joint lock.

I wouldn't say I ENJOY the pain — but I APPRECIATE it, if that makes any sense. Pain is like a friend who cares enough about you to deliver a message we need to hear, such as "that stove is HOT!" or "you are being INJURED!" or, in this case, "Your partner is doing the technique CORRECTLY!"

If I don't feel a twinge of pain, then my partner is not applying the technique correctly. By avoiding the pain, I [am] failing to aid in the development of my partner. He/she may need to use this technique in a real conflict and may fail due to this inconsistancy.

Exactly! Well said.

 

[K' Evans]

Hey guys, thanks for the replies. It's very heart-warming to hear your advice and voices of encouragement. I will certainly keep those tips in mind.

I just had another night of sparring, and man am I frustrated at myself again. I don't know what's wrong with me, either I am too defensive, or just too stunned during sparring. One of my partners (a senior who I've had issues getting along with, and apparently I am not the only one) just never initiated an attack, and whenever I kicked (lightly, as it's meant to be light sparring), all he does is slam my foot down and kick me again. I don't want to have any personal feelings towards him, but it's just demoralizing to have him intercept my kicks all the time, and I never had the chance to intercept his.

When I sparred with the second person (who is a friend of mine), I knew that I was no match for him since he's a competitive boxer. But, I was hoping to at least be a little better in landing some attacks on him. However, he's really good and I found myself to be on the defence, which was quite tough for me. While I did make a few shots, I consider it purely luck.

I don't expect to be a natural or talented fighter but I am really wondering what's wrong with me. Some questions I have in my mind:

1) How do I deal with someone who doesn't want to initiate an attack and keeps waiting to intercept me?

2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?

3) What kind of different ways can I initiate an attack? All I seem to be doing is a kick and a punch or punch and kick. I can't seem to steal corners effectively.

4) I think I am too afraid to keep rushing forward offensively. Maybe partially cos I don't want to hurt my sparring partners or hurt myself too.

5) I think as soon as I spar, everything I've learnt collapses. It's like as if I forgot everything. This is really bad. It's like I never learned anything at all....

I obviously got a long way to go.

 

[Kacey]

Hey guys, thanks for the replies. It's very heart-warming to hear your advice and voices of encouragement. I will certainly keep those tips in mind.

I just had another night of sparring, and man am I frustrated at myself again. I don't know what's wrong with me, either I am too defensive, or just too stunned during sparring. One of my partners (a senior who I've had issues getting along with, and apparently I am not the only one) just never initiated an attack, and whenever I kicked (lightly, as it's meant to be light sparring), all he does is slam my foot down and kick me again. I don't want to have any personal feelings towards him, but it's just demoralizing to have him intercept my kicks all the time, and I never had the chance to intercept his.

If he's blocking harder than you're kicking, which is what it sounds like, then kick him harder. He is, by his actions, saying that your attack was not effective; if he were accepting it as a valid attack, he would treat it accordingly. That being said - talk to your instructor or another senior and ask them to watch you spar this person, not because of the above problem, per se - but tell them you seem to be having problems getting techniques in on him and ask them to watch and provide feedback. His actions will be apparent fairly quickly.

When I sparred with the second person (who is a friend of mine), I knew that I was no match for him since he's a competitive boxer. But, I was hoping to at least be a little better in landing some attacks on him. However, he's really good and I found myself to be on the defence, which was quite tough for me. While I did make a few shots, I consider it purely luck.

Why is it, when you don't land techniques, it's you - and when you do, it's luck? Could you be... better that you think you are? Again, have another person watch you spar and provide feedback, or, if possible, use a video camera.

I don't expect to be a natural or talented fighter but I am really wondering what's wrong with me. Some questions I have in my mind:

1) How do I deal with someone who doesn't want to initiate an attack and keeps waiting to intercept me?

Are you talking about a counterfighter? People who wait for you to attack are waiting for the opening your attack causes in your defenses. This works best when you (the attacker) only throw 1 or 2 techniques; the way to prevent counterfighting from being effective is to throw multiple techniques at different levels, even if you're getting hit once or twice - in general, counterfighters expect you to stop once they start, and if you don't, you can usually respond effectively.

2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?

Practice. And if that doesn't work, practice some more. If that still doesn't work, then practice might help! This is part of the fight/flight response (blinking, I mean) and takes practice retraining your response (flight includes freezing - that's where the blinking comes from) until you stop doing it.

3) What kind of different ways can I initiate an attack? All I seem to be doing is a kick and a punch or punch and kick. I can't seem to steal corners effectively.

What do you mean by "stealing corners effectively"? I'm not sure what that refers to - if you mean location in the ring, the corners are a bad place to be; it's safer in the center, you move less, and it's harder to kick you out of bounds. If you mean combinations, you need to practice combinations until they become natural, so that you keep moving no matter what. This goes with the above fight/flight response; you have to train yourself to keep fighting even while you're defending.

4) I think I am too afraid to keep rushing forward offensively. Maybe partially cos I don't want to hurt my sparring partners or hurt myself too.

Nobody wants to get hurt! See answer to #2 and #3.

5) I think as soon as I spar, everything I've learnt collapses. It's like as if I forgot everything. This is really bad. It's like I never learned anything at all....

See answer to #2. This is why so many short-term self-defense classes don't teach actual MA - they teach escape techniques that are easy to remember and execute - the more complex the action, the more practice it takes.

I obviously got a long way to go.

Doesn't everyone? After 20 years, the only thing I'm truly sure of is how much more there is to learn... It's why I keep going to class.

 

[Skip Cooper]

\
2) How do I stop myself from blinking during an attack?

I don't even know if I blink when attacked. Can one train not to blink? Now, all of a sudden, I am conscience of my blinking...I wished I hadn't read this thread, LOL!

 

[K' Evans]

Well, I wasn't sure if its appropriate to kick him harder. As it was supposed to be light sparring, I deliberately decided to be light. I am very cautious abt myself as I think I am not certain of how much power I can control in my punches or kicks. But thanks for the tip, I will be certain to ask others to watch our sparring.

I suppose that if I had the liberty to use a wide array of techniques, I could put up better against a counterfighter. In that particular sparring match, we were instructed to train in a few techniques, hence we were restricted in what we could use. That's why I was trying to steal his corner, i.e. I have to move to his left or right side fast enough to hit him, without him being able to counter back efficiently.

Maybe I am giving myself less credit than I deserve, but I like to practice a healthy sense of skepticism about my abilities and skills too. It reinforces my doubts and curiousity and helps foster my enthuasiasm to learn more and improve.

I don't know, I don't see some of my opponents blinking. And I think I blink excessively. Even when I am throwing the punch! I guess there's no way around it except to practice more. Maybe I have some fears of getting hit...