Need some help with my little issue..

[Transk53]

Only if you're in high heels and he's barefoot. This suggestion is very removed from reality. Stepping on the foot and giving him a shove is more plausible. But a foot stomp? This isnt WWE, why just give a nuggie or tittie twister? I hear purple nurples are also effective

No not really. Someone grabbed me from behind, got my weight going backwards and stamped on his foot. Nothing superhero, just enough for that person to relinquish. Besides, WWE is faaar to pretty for me

 

[Mephisto]

No not really. Someone grabbed me from behind, got my weight going backwards and stamped on his foot. Nothing superhero, just enough for that person to relinquish. Besides, WWE is faaar to pretty for me

Im glad it worked for, sounds like it was a simple solution where you used it. I'm not sure if it would work for me,may be a move better suited to a heavy weight.

 

[oftheherd1]

You have gotten some good advice based on the scenario you provided. But I can't help but think you haven't told us everything that happened.

Who was the guy who accosted you, and what was his stake in what you were doing?

Do/did you know him, or he you?

Do a lot of people know you have studied a martial art; do you make sure people know?

Did this happen at a private residence or a public venue?

Did others at the party take you to task, support you, or ridicule you for action or lack of action?

Based only on what you have provided, it is difficult for me to provide anything I would consider useful advice. It does sound like you feel you failed in some way. Maybe you did, but if so, I would be interested in knowing why you feel that way. Now that you have had a chance to think about it, what do you think would have been a better response, and why?

The best I can think of based on what I think you were trying to say and ask, is to go back and read Jenna's answer. I was surprised more people didn't pick up on it. Try to always think of how you would react to situations you see, or can imagine in your mind. Pick them apart for your responses that would seem to be best to that situation. Are there moves you have learned that would be effective? Would they gain approval from your peers, or do you care, since you know you were threatened and survived? Would no response be most appropriate? Even if you freeze momentarily, always have a thought to what you think is most appropriate, from attacking viciously, to walking away and letting anyone who asks, know you don't find it worth it; they agree or not.

 

[Transk53]

Im glad it worked for, sounds like it was a simple solution where you used it. I'm not sure if it would work for me,may be a move better suited to a heavy weight.

Yeah no doubt there is some kind of scientific term for this, but a lot of people in my experience do not like going backwards. People tend to panic, more so if you drop them, or at least look like you are going to drop them backwards. That would have had more impact on his mind rather than the stamp. Got away with that one. Against someone trained it would have got a little tasty I would imagine.

 

[Owned]

First, I wasn't active on the forum because of work, but I want to thank you all for you comments!
I read all of them, and it was very helpful

I'm gonna use some of your advices, in order to avoid those feelings and to act wisely in those confrontations.
Every situation from now, only will make me stronger. I'll keep train, hopefully to practice street scenarios and stuff.
Of course I'll try to remain cool, avoid unnecessary physical touch and back home safety (and alive).
But whenever I'll need to use my tools - I'll know how to use them in the BEST way

Once again, thank you all, and I'm glad I met this forum!
Hope to post here again (at least some positive stuff hehe).
Have a nice day all.

 

[JR 137]

I think you're being a bit too hard on yourself. Yes, you "froze," but it wasn't a big deal IMO. I'm going to make a lot of assumptions, as I wasn't there, and I'm not going to get all textbook psychology on you...

You didn't have an immediate reaction because there were no warning signs. You weren't in a bar, dark alley, weren't being threatened, etc. The incident was unprovoked at a place where you shouldn't have to have been on guard, reasonably speaking. The guy wasn't staring you down from across the room, you didn't say insulting things to him, etc. There were no red flags.

When the grab occurred, your brain was probably stuck in a loop assessing the situation. Had it been strong enough of a grab to cause actual pain, choking, etc. I'm pretty sure you'd have reacted. The amount of force was probably in between "this guy's being an idiot" and "this guy's trying to hurt me."

To me, it seems like because of all the circumstances, your brain was trying to figure out if it was a real threat or not. Had anything changed in the few seconds this went on - his grip got tighter, he raised a hand to hit you, he had that look of serious threat in his eyes, etc. you'd have snapped out of the "frozen" assessing state.

You weren't physically hurt. The threat, while seemingly psychologically real after the fact, wasn't real enough for you to physically react. You didn't attack from the smallest threat like a rabid pit bull.

Had he been actually choking you, had a grip tight enough to make your knees buckle, etc. and you did nothing, then I can see you doing a ton of soul-searching as to why you froze. There was no real threat, therefore no real response.

Had this not been a friend of a friend (someone invited him) not at a friend's house, not on an occasion where you're not thinking of any realistic threat, then you should really assess why you froze. If any single one of those had changed, the threat would have probably been determined as real immediately.

I'm assuming a ton of things here, as all of us are. I'm not saying you're making too much of it, but you very well may be. IMO the threat wasn't real enough to elicit an immediate response, that's why your brain was stuck analyzing all of these what ifs without you knowing it.