Jenna said:
To Rich 
Ahh Rich you are wise and always make sense to me and see I am listening to you and taking it in and then thinking ahh but that would not be me and but I am conceited to think if I found someone it would last for always and I know no one goes into marriage NOT believing it will last forever but plainly for many it does not.. but is there any sense in the idea that people are too lazy to work at things? I mean we are used to fast food and disposable possessions and everything is treated like a consumable I think and I wonder do we even treat partners like that also?? I have one of my peepz who got married just last year and yes I was bridesmaid huh! and but they had to live apart because of where his job was and just six months in and he went off looking for other women and I think that was just the worst thing and they have separated altogether which broke my heart I will say and but I wonder what is wrong with people? You get married and maybe it is impossible to turn off the ol urges that help us to get partners in the first place.. is that what it is? I do not now maybe you would have a thought since you always put things well for me..
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna
Jenna,
I agree with laziness. I also think that consumer approach to relationships is there.
Recently I heard some early 20's using a term I had not heard before. Expiration Dating. Those involved cannot see that there is an expiration just like the milk one buys, bout those all around them can see it that it is already going bad.
There is another term being used by Psychs and professional's here in the states. The Term is "Starter Marriage". Now this is fine if both think it is a starter marriage, but most often one person enters into the marriage knowing they will not have a child or wish not to have a child, and will divorce their partner before they are 30. This is for those who cannot afford to live alone and or need the appearance of being married at work to be able to be mroe upwardly mobile.
In 2004 I read a couple of studies. Detroit Metro area or South East Michigan region and Pittsburg Pennsylvania had the highest ratio of women to men. Now being a single man, this would seem like the right place to be. Until further studies are reviewed. South East Michigan is the fattest region in the United States. (* A little weight or mass that is proportional is fine, but too much is not attractive to me. And no I am not a person who prefers the model look, as I think many need to gain a few pounds. *) Another study had South East Michigan being in the top three for single women with more than two kids. And a great many of those were from multiple partners. And while an active partner is something that I would prefer, I have found it very difficult to deal with the "ex's", in particular if there is more than one, which makes it even more difficult to find a solution to a problem that may arise. Now add in that South East Michigan was also high (* I beleive top 10 *) in sexually transmitted diseases, and also high for drug usage, and that leaves one with a very small portion of the population that can fit what on paper looks like the person one would go for. (* I would say normal or average, but when the numbers are that most do drugs and have a disease then this is the average or the Norm or Normal.
*)
So, while I agree that I may be jaded by my experiences, and by those of my friends, (* Divorced as well, used for citizenship, a pay check for someone kids to get insurance, etcetera *) I still hold out that I may find someone I can get along with.
The issue is that I am not perfect and I have some issues and hang ups. Those who would date me or get involved need to understand that, just as I understand that the person I would be involved with his their baggage and hang ups and needs special consideration in certain areas. Both sides needs to understand this and be willing to work with the other side. So the right woman who is willing to handle my issues may be a woman with multiple kids from different relationships. But since I have been burned really bad for money in the past, my hang ups are things that most women will not consider. The issue of a pre-nup, where every thing that is mine before the marriage stays mine and the same for her. All family heirlooms stay with the family if a break up occurs, and that everything accrued during the relationship is split 50/50. But most women do not wish to discuss this, for if I truly loved them then I would not be worried about such items. And they may be right, and I do not know.
but hey these are all good observations and yet I think your insightful observations could equally apply to ANY relationship besides a one nighter.. dont you think? like here.. you said "The general public don't want to put in that much effort" and that is what I was saying to Rich that we are lazy and yet are these things not worth bothering over? Surely that is not the case. but the thing I wonder most about is the argument that marriages are not so good in comparison to just relationships because there is less of a chance to leave.. which must not be good for those in long term relationships to think the partner is not an advocate of marriage because they have actually given thought to leaving.. 
I hope your getting my point. I say to only get married when you're old enough and wise enough to try and enjoy it. I actually know a couple of guys who are in their 50's that's never been married. They never wanted to. They like to hunt, fish, motorcycle, drink, travel and all sorts of stuff w/o having to ask permission to go here and there. Oh well.
