Many researchers taking a different view of pedophilia

[Tez3]

Self control is something one should be taught as a child.

 

[ballen0351]

Self control is something one should be taught as a child.

That's my thought you shouldn't need to teach an adult not to molest kids. Its kind of a given

 

[DennisBreene]

Sexual orientation does not imply compulsion. That is probably the deviance (compulsion) that creates the harm.

 

[Tgace]

"Attraction" is different from acting on ones urges. Does being a pedo equate to not being able to avoid molesting a child?

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[Makalakumu]

Sexual orientation does not imply compulsion. That is probably the deviance (compulsion) that creates the harm.

The compulsion is hard to understand. It's hard to have empathy for it. How does it get to the point where a person would prey off of another? This is an issue with serial rapists as well. Certain people feel compelled to act on their attractions no matter what the consequence.

 

[Tez3]

"Attraction" is different from acting on ones urges. Does being a pedo equate to not being able to avoid molesting a child?

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Exactly. A lot of us who are married or in a relationship can be attracted to others but we don't go having affairs so self control is achievable. When we were posted to Germany the RAF camp had a lovely outdoor swimming pool, in summer greatly used by the nubile but under aged daughters of the airmen. A great many of the men using the pool had their eye caught but these lovely young ladies in their bikinis who weren't unaware of their attractions but no one took it any further because it was known they were underage even if it was only by months. Everyone knew the trouble it would bring so they used self control.
A lot of stuff is spouted about not being able to control themselves, celebrities who've been caught out shagging are 'sexaholics' so they can't help it and need 'counselling', no, what they have is ordinary lust and they don't feel like resisting it.

Paedophiles will often tell you how 'innocent' and 'normal' their love for children is and how the children benefit from it, so following their logic how is it a compulsion? If it's a sexual urge in the same way other sexual urges are why can't they control it?

 

[Tgace]

And does being a pedo mean you don't have sexual attraction to adults at all?

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[Touch Of Death]

As with a lot of things such as over eating, not exercising etc the thought of self control doesn't seem to come into it. The excuse that 'I can't help it' is a poor one for things like this, the modern way seems to be that you have to give into your baser instincts. Goodness knows there's a lot of people I could quite easily kill with my bare hands if need be but I don't kill them I'm even polite to them because of self control, self discipline. It's why most of us don't over eat, don't break the law, don't have sex with children etc etc.

Quite easily kill with your bare hands? I have to say, I like your attitude.

 

[Tez3]

Quite easily kill with your bare hands? I have to say, I like your attitude.

Oh yes, when you get that guy who is screaming at you 'don't you know who I am' when you've just had to pull him up on something he's done, then he bad mouths you, your parentage, your job, tells you 'he'll have you for this' etc etc etc and you have to be nice and polite ( though actually being nice and polite winds him up more so it's good to do :uhyeah You think to yourself I could just put him in a RNC and not let go..for a long time.
The thing is, I could do it but I don't.

 

[Sukerkin]

And does being a pedo mean you don't have sexual attraction to adults at all?

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An interesting question. My impression, from what little I have seen about this in the media, is that, no, they can't; but I freely admit I know nothing whatsoever of substance about this vile predilection (it's not something that I wish to contemplate, like most people I am sure).

I would say tho' that if it is a problem with the wiring of the brain then, abhorrent as the acts of these people are, maybe it should be treated more as a mental illness?

 

[Big Don]

The old argument that "They can't help it, they were born that way" has been used for years to justify various activities and proclivities.
Almost as if anything you are born with is automatically and irrevocably a good thing.
Some people are born with Down's syndrome and some are born with Spina bifida, are you going to argue those aren't BAD things?

 

[granfire]

"Attraction" is different from acting on ones urges. Does being a pedo equate to not being able to avoid molesting a child?

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I think the problem here is that the boundaries are so easily crossed:

A hug here or there, then the hand slips a little....the object of desire are not aware of the fact that the actions are indeed, little by little. crossing the line.
Maybe not even intentional - at first.....
You know, where you would get your head bit off by an adult.

 

[DennisBreene]

The old argument that "They can't help it, they were born that way" has been used for years to justify various activities and proclivities.
Almost as if anything you are born with is automatically and irrevocably a good thing.
Some people are born with Down's syndrome and some are born with Spina bifida, are you going to argue those aren't BAD things?

Bisexuality seems to be reasonably accepted as existing; implying that one's sexual orientation can accommodate more than one item on the menu. I think that human behavior is far more complex than simply relegating the argument to "check the appropriate compulsion on the form and move to line 24 to complete your application for disability, penance, accommodations etc...". I don't think compulsion should ever be an excuse, maybe just an added insight into how humans respond. I don't see any quick, easy solutions for returning someone with seriously abnormal and dangerous behaviour to more civilized funtioning. For the time being, it seems to be appropriate to protect society from such individuals while trying to remember that affording them a certain amount of human dignity and regard does not diminish us.

 

[cdunn]

A lot of stuff is spouted about not being able to control themselves, celebrities who've been caught out shagging are 'sexaholics' so they can't help it and need 'counselling', no, what they have is ordinary lust and they don't feel like resisting it.

Paedophiles will often tell you how 'innocent' and 'normal' their love for children is and how the children benefit from it, so following their logic how is it a compulsion? If it's a sexual urge in the same way other sexual urges are why can't they control it?

True compulsive behaviour starts with the self-lie that they are in control, and is quickly interleaved with justifications. It's a cage that people build for themselves to protect themselves from the world, to hide from something. Breaking out of it and really asserting control means facing whatever it is that they hide from. It means thinking and feeling instead of ritual. This is not a simple matter, and usually it takes a catastrophe to make people deal with the problem. The flip side of things is that complusive behaviour shouldn't shield them from the consequences of the actions; reasons aren't excuses.

The old argument that "They can't help it, they were born that way" has been used for years to justify various activities and proclivities.
Almost as if anything you are born with is automatically and irrevocably a good thing.
Some people are born with Down's syndrome and some are born with Spina bifida, are you going to argue those aren't BAD things?

No one is claiming that these results make it a 'good' thing. Merely that with this knowledge in hand, we can look for ways to help those with the potential to offend keep themselves from offending in the first place, rather than letting them lurk until they destroy a child's life and punishing them afterwards; it's not very fair to the child, now is it?

 

[Touch Of Death]

True compulsive behaviour starts with the self-lie that they are in control, and is quickly interleaved with justifications. It's a cage that people build for themselves to protect themselves from the world, to hide from something. Breaking out of it and really asserting control means facing whatever it is that they hide from. It means thinking and feeling instead of ritual. This is not a simple matter, and usually it takes a catastrophe to make people deal with the problem. The flip side of things is that complusive behaviour shouldn't shield them from the consequences of the actions; reasons aren't excuses.



No one is claiming that these results make it a 'good' thing. Merely that with this knowledge in hand, we can look for ways to help those with the potential to offend keep themselves from offending in the first place, rather than letting them lurk until they destroy a child's life and punishing them afterwards; it's not very fair to the child, now is it?

This is one of those liberty versus security things, and it is a pretty safe bet that eventually security will win.

 

[billc]

Something to watch out for is not only are some elements of the pyschiatric community looking to change how they address this subject but hollywood is also making an effort to "normalize," this problem. In the recent past they have idolized roman polanski, and other known child molestors, and they are making movies and television shows that show these individuals in a sympathetic light. For example, there is a television show..."Pretty Little Liars," I think, but it could be another show, where the mid twenty year old teacher is having a sexual relationship with a 16 year old girl...and it is shown sympathetically, and they encourage the audience to hope they escape discovery. That is not to mention the movies that have come out and are coming out that are also, I would say, promoting this activity. Keep a look out for these movies...you will be seeing more of them as time goes on...

Hollywood is a sick place...

 

[RandomPhantom700]

The compulsion is hard to understand. It's hard to have empathy for it. How does it get to the point where a person would prey off of another? This is an issue with serial rapists as well. Certain people feel compelled to act on their attractions no matter what the consequence.

Certain people feel compelled to take drugs, or gamble, or have that 5th or 6th drink. Compulsion is compulsion, regardless of the particular fixation. As Tgace stated, being a pedophile doesn't mean being a child molester/child rapist; along that line of thought, I'm sure there are plenty of pedophiles out there who are able to ignore the compulsion and/or channel their attractions into outlets that won't get them in trouble.

And before anyone says it, no, I'm not typing this in an attempt to defend child molesters.