"Make violence a choice and no-" you never have a choice..

[isshinryuronin]

May I suggest that this thread be closed down. I hate to see my Martialtalk colleagues lower themselves responding to this ridiculous guy.

 

[Hyoho]

Show me where I admitted to anything.

1) I stay and continue telling people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear- Win.

2) I get banned and get confirmation that you'll call certain things "trolling" just because you don't like them- Win.

That's how.

I am being productive. It's everyone else who is treating social decency like it's this objective.. "thing" that means the same thing in every context.. and treating "bad places" like it means anything.

All it takes for a place to become a "bad place" is a single bad egg walking in. There's not a rule for this.

I read your first post and was about to suggest an approach. Then again reading on you seem to be rather confrontational with everybody, even here on the group. I have people try push in front of me in queues and deal with it but it never needs to end up violently.

 

[auntlisa1103]

When I say disrespect I mean what people usually call disrespect.. not the same thing.

For example, I almost got into it once with a guy at a Chinese restaurant because he was standing like 10 feet away from the next person up in line for the front desk and I "cut in front of him."

This was at the height of the pandemic so I guess he was trying to social distance or something stupid like that. I knew immediately that that's what he was doing but it only made me respect him even less.

What I did wasn't disrespect. If you're gonna get in a line then actually get in the line.

Yeah you were the problem here.

If you are going to choose to be the problem, you should probably be prepared for people to get ticked off.

Seems to me you are choosing violence by starting crap and escalating it, and then blaming it on the other party. So you are putting others in a position to choose to defend themselves or not, and claiming they are stupid for not wanting to choose violence.

The first two tenets of TKD are courtesy and integrity. Try having some sometime.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Go out in public at all.. and have any kind of confidence that these snots can see as a threat.

Don't have to be in a bar for this stuff. Don't know about age though.

If you have confidence in you ability, and yourself, what does it prove by fighting with an idiot...I mean other than showing you have no control of your emotions, especially anger....basically, who are you trying to impress?

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

What's douchey? Taking a space that someone left for me and then snapping back when they're mad about the consequences of their crappy decision making?

Who is making crappy decisions? Try being tolerant, people have a bad day sometimes. It’s not your tail between your legs you should concern yourself with, it’s your brain between your ears. The issue here is your perspective.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Yeah but then I'm miserable because my tail is between my legs and I'm tolerating something that doesn't deserve my tolerance.

perspective.

 

[jstacy1228]

I sometimes wonder why random threads pop up on my email, but I am so glad this one did. It was a great read, and I felt like logging in to comment. Not necessarily on the ridiculousness of the way this whole premise played out for OP, but on the nature of the "choice" itself, and specifically, how it relates to confidence.

As a disabled cane-user with a mobility impairment, my number one tactic of running is all but impossible. Which means I may, at some point, have to make the "choice" of either violence or getting trounced (very likely the latter). No choice at all really, when you can't leave an attacker's space easily.

That said, as I think someone else pointed out, the choice the attacker makes in this situation has nothing to do with confidence, and everything to do with insecurity. Even if the likely result happened, me getting my butt kicked, I'd still be able to go out with tons of confidence, because a narcissist's ability to beat up a weaker person who had no choice is indicative of nothing so much as their own insecurities within themselves.

This idea that every single time you don't do exactly what you want to do out in public means that you're fuming inside because your "tail is between your legs" or your confidence is threatened is absolutely wild to me.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

But their blunt. You WILL get attacked for being a little blunt.

And no you don't have to be in a "stupid place" for it to happen (as if the phrase "stupid place" isn't subjective to the point where it has no meaning whatsoever), before I hear that jargon for the billionth time.

Blunt or rude? I wouldn’t attack someone for being either. I wouldn’t attack you for cutting line, I might be blunt about telling you that cutting line is rude.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

You don't win anything, you're a mod/admin/whatever. Anytime you "win" you're just hiding behind your authority like a little weasel.

Really? Wow. I am genuinely surprised here. First question I have is how old are you? Do you train in MA?

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Not at all. Just make violence a choice!

 

[auntlisa1103]

Just gonna leave this here without further comment, except to say that self-control is another tenet of TKD. So three of the five are, in one way or another, about how you treat others, rather than how you serve yourself.

 

[Steve]

From a recent NYT opinion piece: “if you meet a jerk once a month, you’ve met a jerk. If you meet jerks every day, you’re a jerk.”

I think the same thing goes for confrontation/conflict in general.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

From a recent NYT opinion piece: “if you meet a jerk once a month, you’ve met a jerk. If you meet jerks every day, you’re a jerk.”

I think the same thing goes for confrontation/conflict in general.

The one exception to this is drivers. If you see a bad driver every day, it just means you've got a bad commute.

 

[MoldyCookie]

The one exception to this is drivers. If you see a bad driver every day, it just means you've got a bad commute.

You just proved that you all cherry pick when phrases like that apply lol.

 

[mograph]

You just proved that you all cherry pick when phrases like that apply lol.

So we're all the problem?

I see.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

You just proved that you all cherry pick when phrases like that apply lol.

Not sure if you missed it, but I was making a joke.

 

[OLD DOG NEW TRICKS]

What am I missing about when people talk about violence suddenly becoming a "choice" when you know how to fight?

This is where I have to agree with people like Ryan Hoover. If someone is gonna try to inflict violence upon you, they're just going to do it.

Some fat, greasy, peeked-in-highschool schmuck with a woman nearby (could be his, maybe it's not, maybe it's his cousin.. probably his cousin) starts with you looking for points, what are you gonna do?

"I don't accept your terms and conditions."

No man, something's coming.

We can argue up and down about the ramifications of swinging first/not swinging first, it doesn't matter if one of us thinks we can just say "no" and then we'll be safe.

It's his toothless hillbilly kissing cousin. lol. If we beat down all the idiots in the world we would be fighting 24 / 7. As martial artists we have to stay above these fools (Toothless idiots) because we are held to a much higher standard. But I do understand your thoughts. Take care.

 

[Buka]

From a recent NYT opinion piece: “if you meet a jerk once a month, you’ve met a jerk. If you meet jerks every day, you’re a jerk.”

I think the same thing goes for confrontation/conflict in general.

Gee, I hope there's caveats to that. I work at an airport. If there isn't at least one jerk per hour we usually send out search parties to help.

 

[Holmejr]

Oingo Boingo - Home Again
“Where is he going - why does he walk that way
Sticking his chest out - what is he trying to say
He's got charisma - but when he's all alone
He curls up in a ball - and wishes that he was
Home Again...Home Again...Home Again”

Lol

 

[Steve]

Gee, I hope there's caveats to that. I work at an airport. If there isn't at least one jerk per hour we usually send out search parties to help.

I think you’re out of luck. Cops are professional jerks.