Leaving it at the Door

[Carol]

I am reviving this "old" thread only because I am currently going through something similar to what EM was going through (just replace "frustration" with "depression"), and after reading all of the responses to the OP I was reminded of all of the things I should (and should not) be doing to keep my head in check.
I just wanted to thank everyone who posted on this thread.
:asian:
John

Thanks from me too. A goof-up I made recently hit me a bit harder than I thought it would. :angry: :angry: :angry: And I'm not able to train this week because work says I can't go far from home (on-call) :angry: :angry: :angry:

Anyway...thanks for the refresher. :asian:

 

[grydth]

Each of you going through bad times has been able to recognize it and talk about it... and you have a community here that will help you. These are the essential first steps in coming through this.

I think its also clear that just about all of us have been way down in life, too. There is nothing unusual, defective or bad about you - low points in life happen to everyone.

Use your martial arts training as you see fit to help you. Too often we think of these arts as exclusively fighting arts, when in reality they can give us victory against the most difficult opponent: our own inner self doubts and pain.

Use the hard arts to restore/maintain health or work out frustration. Tai Chi and Qi Gong are enormously useful soft arts in calming, focusing and relaxing. Classes keep you attached to the community.

One thing I learned: when angry or down, if able... help somebody else. I don't know why that works so well, but it does.

 

[TheOriginalName]

Hey Buddy,

Firstly - you are not alone. You are not the first person to feel like this.
I think this is very important to know - even if you perhaps don't feel like it.

Secondly - make an appointment with a doctor and have a chat to his about it. These type of feelings can often be the symptoms of a deeper problem, such as depression.
I'm not suggesting that you infact have this - i'm not a doctor - but if you do it is best to tackle the problem from both a physilogical and medical approach.

I went through a period very similar to you about a year ago now.
Turned out that i had depression.
At first this freaked me out - i didn't know much about depression and other nurilogical conditions but i did my research and learnt about them.
Medication and exercise by starting my MA training helped me to overcome it.

So get checked out - just to be sure.

Find a friend you trust - and talk to them about how you feel. It may seem stange at first but getting your true feelings out there really does help. Women find this easier than men - and is one of the reasons women in general don't have the anger problems of men.

And lastly - keep up the exercise. Exercise causes the brain to release a heap of chemical - a number of which are the "feel good" chemicals. It's really important to keep up the exercise.

I hope this helps just a bit.

 

[Drac]

Let me repeat again DO NOT give into the urge to drink your pain away...It doesn't work...

 

[bluemtn]

I agree whole- heartedly on the drinking. Don't give in! Heavy bags are a great source of a stress reliever, plus, train HARD by putting more "oomph" into what you do- whether it's forms or basics. Extra sweat is great therapy! I've also been known to throw/ sweep a bit too hard under stress, just be careful to not hurt your training partner...

I hope all will go well, and feel free to chat whenever!

 

[michaeledward]

Seek professional help.

Call your employer's HR department and ask about an EAP, Employee Assistance Program. Check your medical health plan, assuming you have one.

Speak to family, friends, clergy, for recommendations for therapists.

Open the phone book to the United States Department of Health and Human Services and ask for program recommendations.


**** don't get better by itself.



P.S. ... talking to folks here is probably not a good idea. Most of us are probably not mental health professionals. While we may be well intentioned, we may not be well trained or qualified.
This may be easy, but hard work seldom is.

Good Luck.

 

[Sapper6]

identify the problem causing the internal issue.

explore options to rectify the problem.

execute the option.

assess whether the solution worked.

good luck.

 

[tsd]

In the mean time, since your apparent dilemma sounds rather serious, I am going to talk to you as a Master Instructor - - the way I would talk to one of my students. :mst:
Chief Master D.J. Eisenhart

You make me miss my SBN......:asian:

 

[Em MacIntosh]

Sorry you're feeling that way. When I feeling depressed, Mr Heavybag just dosen't work for me as well as for anger, stress, and frustration.

What always worked for me was to call up an old friend and spend some time doing something completely pointless or visit with one of my older realitives who was very near and dear to me. Visit the nieces and nephews, kids have a way of cheering you up without even trying.

What I'm saying is don't stay alone curled up in the fetal position.

Get out there with friends and loved ones and they will pull you through.

-Marc-

I don't find the heavy bag helps. It makes it feel like I just can't hit it hard enough and that gets frustrating. I've just spaced myself away from everyone for a couple of weeks. I feel lots better now. Sometimes you have to remember something special, some thought that keeps things in proper perspective. It's as simple as breath goes into lungs, heart goes on beating. Things will get better...

 

[14 Kempo]

Speaking of leaving it at the door, this may be headed in a direction other than where the OP wanted it to go, but there are other things that should be left outside the training area as well as anger and depression ... how about the ego?

Where I train, we consider ourselves all equals. Egos need to be checked at the door, as well as any other emotions that may interfere with training. As far as I'm concerned, I can learn something from everyone. Even a person that doesn't train. There is a lot that can be learned from a street fighter, lots.

In the past, I have dealt with anger using the heavy bag. A workout sometimes does the same thing. Workout, whether on a bag or in a training center, to exhaustion. Many times you will not have the energy to carry the anger.

As far as depression, I agree with many of the posts. Put yourself in a good place, with friends, family, in the mountains by a stream, on the beach, whatever that is for you. I like to be around positive people, that's what helps me. However, there are times when I just need a few hours alone to think and get past it, again, whatever 'it' is.

 

[IcemanSK]

I don't find the heavy bag helps. It makes it feel like I just can't hit it hard enough and that gets frustrating. I've just spaced myself away from everyone for a couple of weeks. I feel lots better now. Sometimes you have to remember something special, some thought that keeps things in proper perspective. It's as simple as breath goes into lungs, heart goes on beating. Things will get better...

I'm with you on this! I tend to notice that my technique is off & then I get more down on myself. The other things I mentioned did help me a lot, however.

 

[qi-tah]

I don't find the heavy bag helps. It makes it feel like I just can't hit it hard enough and that gets frustrating. I've just spaced myself away from everyone for a couple of weeks. I feel lots better now. Sometimes you have to remember something special, some thought that keeps things in proper perspective. It's as simple as breath goes into lungs, heart goes on beating. Things will get better...

I know what you mean, sometimes you need some time and space to yrself to get yr head clear. Just don't forget to pack enough fuel to come back from that quiet, safe space to the ppl that love you though. Depression can be a sneaky bugger in the way it lulls you into apathy - one thing i've found in the past is that it really is my connection to others that been the best antidote to this draining of the spirit.

Depression seems inevitable, inexorable. There are no surprises in depression, which is why (i reckon, anyway) everything seems like such an effort when yr depressed. Forcing yrself to interact with other ppl improves yr chances of being surprised... follow that and it's amazing how often the surprises will turn out to be pleasureable ones!