I need help motivating a fellow student.

[Crimson Skies]

He's a white belt (like me) and he comes with his grandmother,Keri.Keri does pretty good.While this fellow student (Dillon,he's 15) isn't doing great.He doesn't follow instructions very well,and he doesn't practice.I even heard him say to his grandma "Practice doesn't make perfect."
That kinda irritates me.He doesn't listen at all...I try to help him and he doesn't even try.When he kicks his foot barely reaches 18 inches off the ground.He's in track at his school and has gotten first place.I don't understand why he doesn't try!
I think he's mentally challenged.(Slow speech,can't hold attention)

What can I do?

 

[granfire]

probably nothing. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

he just might not want to be there. And then there is nothing you can do.

 

[terryl965]

There is alot you can do stay positive and keep peaching to him about what it takes to be a Martial Artist and an adult in life, hopefully one day it will kick in. Think positve all the time.

 

[granfire]

There is alot you can do stay positive and keep peaching to him about what it takes to be a Martial Artist and an adult in life, hopefully one day it will kick in. Think positve all the time.

Still considering the age....

Some guys you can get by their honor. "Are you men or mice'

Battle cry in our school is 'WE DON'T FIGHT MIDGETS' I add one to it with 'whatcha trying to do, kick a midget in the shin?!'

(I need a talkin to! saying yeah and nay within 2 posts)

But yeah, the perky positive student might help out, still, don't hold your breath!

 

[searcher]

Leave the motivation to your instructor. I am sure he/she is aware of the situation in greater detail and they have some tricks to get him going.

 

[Earl Weiss]

probably nothing. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

he just might not want to be there. And then there is nothing you can do.

You might start out by simply asking if A. he wants to be there; and if yes, B. Does he want to develop as a Martial Artist.

If the answer to A is no, you can't whup a fart out of a dead mule.

If the answer to A is yes, then ask him what he thinks he needs to do to improve. The answer will be revealing. Go from there.

 

[bluekey88]

Worry less about his training and focus on your training. Not to be trite, but the only thing you have any control over in life is your own behaviors. Sounds like thuis guy will ultimately self- select out in due time....or he'll discover his own motivation. That's not something that you can do for him.

Peace,
Erik

 

[clfsean]

All good advice... all of it.

 

[Tez3]

The poor lad sounds as if he really doean't want to be there, as much as I love MA I understand it would be a complete misery being in a class if you don't want to do it.
Still it may grow on him or not, whichever you'd be much better to concentrate on your training. It's good of you to worry but it's the instrcutors job not yours.

 

[Omar B]

Why does someone else's performance your concern? If he does not take it seriously why is that your business? Just do what works for you and let him flounder, fail or flourish of his own doing.

 

[terryl965]

Worry less about his training and focus on your training. Not to be trite, but the only thing you have any control over in life is your own behaviors. Sounds like thuis guy will ultimately self- select out in due time....or he'll discover his own motivation. That's not something that you can do for him.

Peace,
Erik

Erik I saee your point but remember we are suppose to be able to learned a hand to those that might just need it. I have had fellow students be mentor for new students with this type of attitude and sometimes they can be reached and start to get the frustration out of them. I say try and help and then also be looking out for your own training. Lean a hand and maybesomeone will leaned a hand for you one day.

 

[bluekey88]

Erik I saee your point but remember we are suppose to be able to learned a hand to those that might just need it. I have had fellow students be mentor for new students with this type of attitude and sometimes they can be reached and start to get the frustration out of them. I say try and help and then also be looking out for your own training. Lean a hand and maybesomeone will leaned a hand for you one day.

I see what you're saying, but the OP says they are both white belts (I'm reading beginner into that). If the student is unmotivated and he's not res[ponding to his fellow beginner...then it's on the instructor to figure out motivation.

From a psychological perspective, motivation is the biggest stumbling block to hlep someone overcome. As long as a person is willign o change, I can help them through just about anything. If they don't see the point in change (are unmotivated), being an agent of change is next to impossible.

Bottom line, I don't sree it as an issue that a fellow beginner needs to lose sleep over....that's instructors job

Peace,
Erik

 

[Sukerkin]

That is true Terry. It is also true that you can tell pretty quickly if someone is 'motivatable' or not.

We had a young lad come along a while ago who it was clear was not going to stick at it even with the encouragement and reassurances he was given. For him, the pain that learning iai gave outweighed what he saw he was going to get out of it.

The other side is a lass we have in class now. She is keen and committed and drives through the pain the training gives her (she has overly flexable joints). All she needs for encouragement is the vision she has of trying to improve her art (and the confirmation from us that she is getting there).

It is that vision of the goal that is by far the most determining factor of whether someone will persist or not in their training.

 

[granfire]

I see what you're saying, but the OP says they are both white belts (I'm reading beginner into that). If the student is unmotivated and he's not res[ponding to his fellow beginner...then it's on the instructor to figure out motivation.

From a psychological perspective, motivation is the biggest stumbling block to hlep someone overcome. As long as a person is willign o change, I can help them through just about anything. If they don't see the point in change (are unmotivated), being an agent of change is next to impossible.

Bottom line, I don't sree it as an issue that a fellow beginner needs to lose sleep over....that's instructors job

Peace,
Erik

well, sometimes going face to face with somebody your own (low) level can be the ticket! But you got to have some basic competitiveness going: When I started I had class with a Lady 20 years my senior. She was not going to be out done by me and I wasn't going to be left in the dust by her. We did our first grading together and stuck around, neck by neck until personal reasons kept me from becoming certified as instructor. Now health has her sidelined...

But then again, we are talking adults, not kids in the middle of what is so laughingly described as 'Puberty' (hormones are a b*tch I tell ya!)

 

[dnovice]

1) why waste your time on one student who doesn't care when you can help ten that do care in the same amount of time.
2) I admire you for trying to lend a helping hand to him
3) leave him to the instructor. I'm sure he'll come around or leave.

 

[Crimson Skies]

Thanks for all the advice everybody.

As a poster suggested,I will ask him if he actually likes Taekwondo.It's a possibility his mother forced him to do it.
From what I understand,some parents are overbearing and force their kids to do many activities.
But that's a whole different topic

 

[jim777]

You could casually say something lie, "When we start sparring, I am going to OWN YOU COMPLETELY, so you should start planning for that now..." then just smile and continue training