I don't talk to Aggressives

[Bill Mattocks]

Aggressive - 'Can I ask you a favor?'
Me - No.
Aggressive - But you didnt' even know what I was going to ask
Me - Doesn't matter, I said no.
Aggressive - Man I'll give you these fists and put you in a choke hold!
Me - You want to do that in front of these cameras?
Aggressive - You can't defend yourself from me
Me - That's what you think
Aggressive - You think you're smart? You wanna fight?
Me - I don't wanna do that.

It goes on like this...
Eventually the aggressive person walks away.

(stepping and spacing is involved with this)

Aggression isn't just being physically aggressive. Assuming that your statements about this happening a lot to you, I'd wager a guess that you're bringing a lot of this on yourself, with your mouth and your attitude. That's another form of aggression.

 

[CB Jones]

Concept that I learned and has worked for me over the years working UC.

At first contact, I mirror the persons level of aggression and/or attitude. This keeps the other person from gaining initial control of the situation.

From there I can de-escalate or escalate gradually depending on what is needed. Typically the person will naturally follow my lead.

So by controlling my levels I am actually controlling their levels as well.

Also when I lower my level if the other person does not mirror that is a good indicator that the person is either overly agitated or has bad intentions.

The key is I only de-escalate or escalate in increments and dont continue unless the person is mirroring me.

Just what has worked for me....thought I would share.

 

[snake_monkey]

Aggression isn't just being physically aggressive. Assuming that your statements about this happening a lot to you, I'd wager a guess that you're bringing a lot of this on yourself, with your mouth and your attitude. That's another form of aggression.

Sure I really meant that it happens a lot to me that I’m approached with no easy way to remove myself from the situation without offending the person which I would consider a form of aggression within my personal space. I have posted different ways that I deal with it and apparently in my draft I came of aggressive. But yeah I was mirroring someone who came into my space and I’m glad it didn’t escalate.

The two guys with knives approached with blades drawn on a different occasion didn’t ask for anything they were just bullies trying to scare me they made fun of me for bumping into a post as I was up against a wall in a phone call and I was trying to get better spacing. The guy came within striking range and a told him that I wasn’t scared and he left (it was daytime). Almost no words were exchanged. Many experiences in the same area have colored my mind and ability to operate but once again I’m doing my best to learn from experience. This was one time and I will surely go back to my regular ways of dealing with unknowns.

 

[snake_monkey]

Same guy is back in front of the building I witnessed him doing the same thing to many others in front of the revolving door and he even followed people in their tracks with an attitude when they refused. He has a friend with him. Building .Security is not concerned.

 

[ShortBridge]

Is there another entrance/exit?

 

[frank raud]

Thank all now I have a script for when someone asked to use my phone which was the favor asked in this case. (Sorry I didn’t share that earlier just didn’t come to mind).

Anyway My script is that I can’t lend it out to anyone because I use it for digital media production but I’m looking for drummers.

Why are you giving an obvious opening ( or two) to someone you don't want to interact with? I f they ask about your music or about drumming, how do you get out of it? If the intention is to shut down a conversation, why provide unnecessary information that invites additional questioning?

 

[snake_monkey]

Why are you giving an obvious opening ( or two) to someone you don't want to interact with? I f they ask about your music or about drumming, how do you get out of it? If the intention is to shut down a conversation, why provide unnecessary information that invites additional questioning?

Good point - I’m just going to feel it out I’m pretty good at that when I’m relaxed

 

[KenpoMaster805]

If i were you i would walk away but when push comes to shove then heck ya ill fight ya 1 on1 buddy

 

[Headhunter]

If i were you i would walk away but when push comes to shove then heck ya ill fight ya 1 on1 buddy

Yes because that's how it works and you'll always be going 1 on 1

 

[lklawson]

Sure I really meant that it happens a lot to me that I’m approached with no easy way to remove myself from the situation without offending the person which I would consider a form of aggression within my personal space. I have posted different ways that I deal with it and apparently in my draft I came of aggressive. But yeah I was mirroring someone who came into my space and I’m glad it didn’t escalate.

The two guys with knives approached with blades drawn on a different occasion didn’t ask for anything they were just bullies trying to scare me they made fun of me for bumping into a post as I was up against a wall in a phone call and I was trying to get better spacing. The guy came within striking range and a told him that I wasn’t scared and he left (it was daytime). Almost no words were exchanged. Many experiences in the same area have colored my mind and ability to operate but once again I’m doing my best to learn from experience. This was one time and I will surely go back to my regular ways of dealing with unknowns.

<sheesh> Just ignore them, turn around and walk away. Don't want to engage, then don't engage. No muss, no fuss.

 

[Buka]

I deal with aggressive people on a weekly basis, a lot of whom are drunk or high on one thing or another. But at least I get paid for it and am pretty good at diffusing things.

On my own time, if I get cornered into a situation that forces me to deal with aggresives I’ll give then one chance to allow me to gracefully back down. If they turn down that chance - I am too old, been doing this too long, and am too set in my ways to give them a second chance or to have even a modicum of patience with their BS - you eventually mature to the point where you no longer give a F and really, really don’t tolerate bad guys on your own time.