How to make sure people disagree with you!

[Nobody Important]

What would you suggest if you believe others are not making a legitimate point and are in fact talking nonsense?

All belief is a product of personal experience, although things that can be objectively evaluated are on much stronger ground than those based on just a hunch. I wouldn't have thought there would be a need to type this out every time an opinion is presented though? Do you slip this caveat into real life conversation every few words? I don't.

My own rules for the forum would be these: Grow a thicker skin. Don't take it personally, stop being an emotional crybully. Don't allow pride to blind you. Don't be dishonest in your argument when you realise you are wrong. Don't be an intolerant relativist (i.e. don't say everything is equally valid but then lose the plot when someone disagrees that everything is equally valid).

Lol! Perhaps you should heed your own advice.
All skate, ladies only, lol.

 

[Steve]

I also try not to side with teams either. So even if i generally agree with someone. I will post when i don't.

I

I call that wearing a jersey. We have a lot of that around here. People will agree with someone who's on their team and disagree with someone else who isn't, even when they're saying the same thing.

 

[geezer]

True enough. Sometimes guys on "the opposite team" make good sense. But you can feel a little reluctant about agreeing since you know that both sides will object. Those on the "other side" will insist that you can't really agree since you are the antagonist, and as such you can't really grasp what they are saying. Those on your "same side" see you as either a traitor or as pandering.

It can really be hilarious. At least to my warped sense of humor ...so I go ahead and post anyway!

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

Grow a thicker skin.

When GM Han Chin-Tang used a samurai sword to demonstrate how to cut on his own face without harm, my teacher said to him, "You must have thick skin". IMO, the term "thick skin" can also mean "shameless" which is not a good term. I don't think we need "thick skin" to get involve with online discussion.

In a Judo forum, someone said, "You don't even train Judo. Nobody care about your opinion. Why are you still hanging around here?" I left that forum right away and never went back. I just don't have "thick skin".

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

People will agree with someone who's on their team and disagree with someone else who isn't, even when they're saying the same thing.

That's the difference between "friend" and "stranger".

When

- your friend punches on your shoulder, you will smile.
- a stranger punches on your shoulder, you will punch back.

 

[KPM]

What would you suggest if you believe others are not making a legitimate point and are in fact talking nonsense?

All belief is a product of personal experience, although things that can be objectively evaluated are on much stronger ground than those based on just a hunch. I wouldn't have thought there would be a need to type this out every time an opinion is presented though? Do you slip this caveat into real life conversation every few words? I don't.

My own rules for the forum would be these: Grow a thicker skin. Don't take it personally, stop being an emotional crybully. Don't allow pride to blind you. Don't be dishonest in your argument when you realise you are wrong. Don't be an intolerant relativist (i.e. don't say everything is equally valid but then lose the plot when someone disagrees that everything is equally valid).

No. I would say realize that people don't always share your logic. When you have a preconceived notion of how things should be, than anyone saying something contrary to that notion may sound like they are talking "nonsense." And acknowledge someone's point when they make a good one. Don't just ignore it and jump to your next "gotcha" statement. That's just a general rule for polite discussion in any format.

So my rule #xx: Remember no one here is any other member's "Sifu." We are all here to share and learn. It is no one's responsibility to show anyone one else here the "true way" or to correct anyone else's mistakes. If someone asks for explanation and information, then share it. If you think they are doing something wrong or incorrectly and they aren't asking for you to set them straight, then let it go. No one needs a "thicker skin" because no one should be attacking anyone else for what they do.

My rule #xxx: Do not make definitive statements as if they are the final truth and every other opinion is wrong. That just invites dissent. Its not about any kind of "relativism." It is about polite conversation. Again, refer to my rule #xx....no one here is the "sifu" or the "master." We are here to discuss, not lecture.

I've always thought forums should be approached as if you are sitting in the pub having a beer with a group of friends. Or, as if our Wing Chun ancestors may have done, sitting in the tea house playing Ma Jong. I am quite certain that many of the things said here with the distance of a keyboard would not be said in a friendly face to face meeting.

 

[anerlich]

Some of my actions on other forums can be explained by reference to Thomas Jefferson: "Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions."

 

[Buka]

What an interesting thread.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I also try not to side with teams either. So even if i generally agree with someone. I will post when i don't.

I

Agreed. A friend who won't tell us when we're making a mistake is no friend, at all.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

If you think they are doing something wrong or incorrectly and they aren't asking for you to set them straight, then let it go. No one needs a "thicker skin" because no one should be attacking anyone else for what they do.

I disagree. If I think someone is wrong, I will let them know. To do otherwise (in my opinion) is to fail to be helpful to them. I simply assume they are as open as I am. I've been wrong. (Dear gods, have I been wrong!) The quicker someone helps me see that, the less time I spend being wrong. And, of course, if I respond and let them know I think they're wrong, they might actually show me where I'm wrong. Either way, at least one of us has a chance to learn something new.

 

[KPM]

^^^^ You haven't been around in this forum much. That is not what I was referring to. "Setting them straight" is much different than pointing out how you think someone may be wrong, and then letting it go if they disagree or just don't see it. Its a matter of persistence and continuing to argue a point over and over.

 

[Buka]

I call that wearing a jersey. We have a lot of that around here. People will agree with someone who's on their team and disagree with someone else who isn't, even when they're saying the same thing.

Good point. But, crap, I need me a team! Well, since I've recently devoted myself to Tai-chi, I want the Tai-chi team!

The rest of you guys couldn't embrace the tiger and return to mountain if I spotted you a calico and a molehill. No, wait....on second thought there have been a few molehills that have gone straight Himalayas on us, hasn't there?

Oh, well.....never mind.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Good point. But, crap, I need me a team! Well, since I've recently devoted myself to Tai-chi, I want the Tai-chi team!

Team Taijiquan

 

[Buka]

Team Taijiquan

We need T-shirts. I might have to go to Walmart.

 

[Steve]

I'm in if I can learn to repulse some monkeys.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

^^^^ You haven't been around in this forum much. That is not what I was referring to. "Setting them straight" is much different than pointing out how you think someone may be wrong, and then letting it go if they disagree or just don't see it. Its a matter of persistence and continuing to argue a point over and over.

Okay, given that definition (not the one I'd use for "setting them straight"), I agree.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I'm in if I can learn to repulse some monkeys.

That all depends on what you mean by repulse. are you talking attack or push back the monkey, or nauseate the monkey?

 

[Xue Sheng]

We need T-shirts. I might have to go to Walmart.

It has to at least have this on it

 

[Xue Sheng]

OK, I changed my mind, now it has to at least have this

And now I will discontinue this post derailment, sorry

 

[Steve]

That all depends on what you mean by repulse. are you talking attack or push back the monkey, or nauseate the monkey?

Well, if we're being honest., probably a little of both.