How to make sure people disagree with you!

[geezer]

Over the years that I've participated on this forum, I've encountered a huge variety of personalities ....individuals with varying degrees of experience in WC/VT/WT and related arts such as JKD, and some interesting contributors coming from outside perspectives. And contrary to those who dismiss these forums as totally frivolous, I've actually learned a lot from our discussions.

On the other hand, there are certain individuals who, in spite of their considerable knowledge, only provoke argumentation rather than meaningfully sharing and contributing. In my experience, these folks are not the "trolls" they are sometimes labelled, but sincere in their beliefs. The problem is that they are so sure of themselves and so dismissive of others that they end up eliciting hostility rather than agreement completely losing their audience.

So, for the benefit of any here who wish to actually care to share ideas about WC/VT/WT, I'm going to propose that we all pitch in and draft a few guidelines to help if you really want to reach people in a discussion. I'll kick start the list with my 2 cents:

1. Don't come across as overbearingly certain of how correct and right you, your sifu, or your lineage is. If you are really 100% certain that you have the all answers, there is no room or need for discussion, so move on please!

2. Have a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to laugh a bit or add a silly post, marked with an appropriate imoge so we all know that it's all in fun. Remember, we mostly hang out here to have a good time, right?

3. ???

 

[Phobius]

3. If a statement you made has been met with resounding resilience and/or hostility. Do not repeat said statement. This is a good time to consider discussing said statement from a more friendly and open minded perspective in a new and separate thread. Or to just drop it altogether.

 

[geezer]

3. If a statement you made has been met with resounding resilience and/or hostility. Do not repeat said statement. This is a good time to consider discussing said statement from a more friendly and open minded perspective in a new and separate thread. Or to just drop it altogether.

I'm not sure any of us would back off on a strongly held belief just because it was unpopular. But in my case, I'd certainly be willing to qualify that belief as a matter of my personal experience and opinion, and be willing to concede that others make a legitimate point as well. A little humility goes a long way in terms of smoothing things out!

So...
#4. Have a little humility and acknowledge that others may have a valid point.

 

[Xue Sheng]

#5. I am always right and everyone else is always wrong

Seriously

#5. Approach discussion like you are having the conversation in the same room.

 

[geezer]

#5. I am always right and everyone else is always wrong

Well, of course we humbly acknowledge your wisdom as the only man without a black frame around his portrait universally referred to as Da Shifu, the undisputed GM of Xue-quan.

 

[Nobody Important]

#6 Throw in an occasional please, thank you or you're welcome. A little courtesy goes a long way.

#7 Admit when you're wrong or don't know and apologize if necessary for being rude. Mo Duk should extended beyond the training hall.

 

[Tez3]

2. Have a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to laugh a bit or add a silly post, marked with an appropriate imoge so we all know that it's all in fun. Remember, we mostly hang out here to have a good time, right

Ah but what if only a few people share your sense of humour ( which in my case is true as only cops, medics and military share it) then people don't appreciate your comedic bon mots and think you are angry/annoyed/getting at them.

#5. Approach discussion like you are having the conversation in the same room.

Now, that I do so yes I'm the same annoying personality in person as I am online. The only thing I don't do on line is double entendres as I find so many non Brits don't understand them.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Over the years that I've participated on this forum, I've encountered a huge variety of personalities ....individuals with varying degrees of experience in WC/VT/WT and related arts such as JKD, and some interesting contributors coming from outside perspectives. And contrary to those who dismiss these forums as totally frivolous, I've actually learned a lot from our discussions.

On the other hand, there are certain individuals who, in spite of their considerable knowledge, only provoke argumentation rather than meaningfully sharing and contributing. In my experience, these folks are not the "trolls" they are sometimes labelled, but sincere in their beliefs. The problem is that they are so sure of themselves and so dismissive of others that they end up eliciting hostility rather than agreement completely losing their audience.

So, for the benefit of any here who wish to actually care to share ideas about WC/VT/WT, I'm going to propose that we all pitch in and draft a few guidelines to help if you really want to reach people in a discussion. I'll kick start the list with my 2 cents:

1. Don't come across as overbearingly certain of how correct and right you, your sifu, or your lineage is. If you are really 100% certain that you have the all answers, there is no room or need for discussion, so move on please!

2. Have a sense of humor. Don't be afraid to laugh a bit or add a silly post, marked with an appropriate imoge so we all know that it's all in fun. Remember, we mostly hang out here to have a good time, right?

3. ???

Things getting that rough in the WC/VT/WT discussions? I know I usually enjoy and learn from those discussions right up until the point of lineage discussions. As an outsider I would like to see the WC/VT/WT practitioners not get into the discussions related to lineage and "true WC/VT/WT etc" type discussions. Lineage seems to be a really touchy subject for the systems.

 

[Phobius]

Things getting that rough in the WC/VT/WT discussions? I know I usually enjoy and learn from those discussions right up until the point of lineage discussions. As an outsider I would like to see the WC/VT/WT practitioners not get into the discussions related to lineage and "true WC/VT/WT etc" type discussions. Lineage seems to be a really touchy subject for the systems.

Lineage discussion and talk about what was the original or supreme version is like the 'friend' you just dont want invited to your party. There is always someone inviting that guy who will just drink up all the alcohol, trash your house and make inappropriate sexual advances on the ladies. Making everyone feel uneasy until eventually that guy ends up in a big fight with someone causing the cops to arrive and stop the party early.

 

[drop bear]

Things getting that rough in the WC/VT/WT discussions? I know I usually enjoy and learn from those discussions right up until the point of lineage discussions. As an outsider I would like to see the WC/VT/WT practitioners not get into the discussions related to lineage and "true WC/VT/WT etc" type discussions. Lineage seems to be a really touchy subject for the systems.

Yeah they do. There are some epic semantic debates.

 

[drop bear]

#5. I am always right and everyone else is always wrong

Seriously

#5. Approach discussion like you are having the conversation in the same room.

I keep it toned down for the forums.

 

[Tez3]

I keep it toned down for the forums.

ROFLMAO, says the man who stated posting on here was sparring.

 

[drop bear]

ROFLMAO, says the man who stated posting on here was sparring.

I am sparring light with you guys.

 

[Tez3]

I am sparring light with you guys.

You admit then that you post in a way that is designed to be contentious.

 

[drop bear]

You admit then that you post in a way that is designed to be contentious.

Ladies first.

 

[drop bear]

You admit then that you post in a way that is designed to be contentious.

No i post in a way where i accept my humble opinion is humble and that i may encounter someone else's opinion that disagrees with that.

Because if conversation is not sparring then it is dogma.

 

[Phobius]

No i post in a way where i accept my humble opinion is humble and that i may encounter someone else's opinion that disagrees with that.

Because if conversation is not sparring then it is dogma.

Instead of sparring, you mean you approach it as a conversation? Just throwing another word out there for our fighting enthusiasts.

EDIT: Just realized I did not throw that word out there, it was already painted on walls and ceilings. This is what blindness gets you.

 

[drop bear]

Instead of sparring, you mean you approach it as a conversation? Just throwing another word out there for our fighting enthusiasts.

EDIT: Just realized I did not throw that word out there, it was already painted on walls and ceilings. This is what blindness gets you.

The original idea was. You throw an idea out there. People throw their own out there sometimes it works sometimes you get smashed in the face. Either way you learn sometimes.

Being nice and agreeing with people all the time makes your brain rot.

 

[Phobius]

I see, that was not exactly what I thought you meant. Point sparring or full contact?

 

[Steve]

Just throwing out some rules I think are helpful. Hopefully, you guys do, as well.

#8: Because 99% of what we discuss is subjective, consider the possibility that you might both be right.
#9: Because we are all fallible, consider the possibility that the other guy was just having a bad day and didn't really mean what he said.
#10: Because we're all still learning and none of us knows everything, (not even Xue ), consider that a person's opinions or position may have evolved or even changed completely since the last time a topic came up.
#11: Because none of us really knows the other, consider that there may be a big difference between what was intended and what was perceived.