How to awaken the warrior within?

[granfire]

Gawd, this school year is only 2 weeks old and I am already sitting on my hands to not cause trouble....

I think part of it stems from the fact that my kid is a band geek (and over all dorky, nerdy and odd, aside from overweight) and I have heard too much of the 'band doesn't do that because Coach does not like it'
Yesterday kid came home 'somebody threw a sack of football pads at me'
It's like a scene out of 'Revenge of the Nerds'
The kid is a TKD Blackbelt (lets not get into the discussion if a preteen should have one...he really earned it under ITA rules, before they got weird and nerfed everything) but he has not trained in the last few years and just is not a fighter. Maybe it is a good thing, because if he would really apply what he learned he'd be a power house. Not much finesse or athletically gifted, but he always had really good power.

So. Now I am here and really can't go to school and beat up the jocks...or Coach...(but I am tempted to hire the Budweiser Clydesdales for homecoming, but Coach not liking anybody driving on 'his' track - which looks like asphalt to me, btw - another story tho...)

The kid has had since ever the standing permission to defend himself with what he has learned. Full parental backup. But he.just.won't. Ever.
He is just not a warrior.

On the up side, I found my bag gloves...I think I can make the flex bag work...I hope it's tough enough, because I am seeing myself giving it quiet a workout this fall.

 

[Cyriacus]

Make sure you dont break down your Wrist Muscles too much now

 

[granfire]

I the good gloves with the wrap around wrist strap! ^_^

 

[miguksaram]

Is it possible to get him back into martial arts? The problem with this scenario, is that he will have breaking point with all of this. The question will be is who will he take it out on, himself, the kids, the school, the parents? I'm not trying to imply that he will become some psycho like the Columbine kids, but his grades might begin to fail or he might rebel against you or he just may snap and really end up hurting the tormentors.

I hope things will work out. I had a similar problem with my youngest soon until he finally decided to stand up and he ended up breaking a kid's nose. So...yeah..hope things work out.

 

[granfire]

Yes, I think we need to go back to TKD (or something else for that matter) For many reasons.

Ad he is 14, so of course he rebels against me!

 

[miguksaram]

Yes, I think we need to go back to TKD (or something else for that matter) For many reasons.

Ad he is 14, so of course he rebels against me!

Yes I have a 16 & 14...so I feel you on that one.

 

[granfire]

I think I'll just watch Samurai Champloo....

Seems to calm my nerves for a change.... :lol:

 

[ATC]

Just tell him to make sure he stands up for himself. No need to fight, but to stand up mean to say something. Let them know that he dose not like it. Have him be firm when saying it. If it continues have him use a polite thret like, "look I dont want us to get into any trouble, I am simply asking you to knock it off because I don't like what you are doing. Most times it will be enough to make them back off. If not then have him go to an authority at the school. If then do nothing about it then the gloves are off. Sometimes that is what it takes. Sad but some just need the hard lessons.

 

[granfire]

Just tell him to make sure he stands up for himself. No need to fight, but to stand up mean to say something. Let them know that he dose not like it. Have him be firm when saying it. If it continues have him use a polite thret like, "look I dont want us to get into any trouble, I am simply asking you to knock it off because I don't like what you are doing. Most times it will be enough to make them back off. If not then have him go to an authority at the school. If then do nothing about it then the gloves are off. Sometimes that is what it takes. Sad but some just need the hard lessons.

That's been our approach from the first time trouble arose.

By now I am about to tell him to shove the pads up the jocks behind....

then again, I have hormones and I am not afraid to use them...

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Don't want to tell you want to do or how to raise your child; but not every child fights. Forcing them to do so might not be the best solution.

When I came home from school beat up, my dad would take up for me, confronting the parents of bullies and schools who failed to do anything about it. Later, he got tired of it. He told me the next time I came home crying, he'd give me something to really cry about. I did, and he did. It worked; I stopped mentioning it to my father.

I did eventually learn to deal with bullies and to stand up for myself. In my own time, in my own way. That's all I can offer.

 

[granfire]

Don't want to tell you want to do or how to raise your child; but not every child fights. Forcing them to do so might not be the best solution.

When I came home from school beat up, my dad would take up for me, confronting the parents of bullies and schools who failed to do anything about it. Later, he got tired of it. He told me the next time I came home crying, he'd give me something to really cry about. I did, and he did. It worked; I stopped mentioning it to my father.

I did eventually learn to deal with bullies and to stand up for myself. In my own time, in my own way. That's all I can offer.

Not sure if I should chuckle.

Yeah, the kid is not a fighter. I am basically not opposed to it. He has a bunch of other qualities.
But knowing when to give somebody 5 across the lips is a very valuable skill, too. Not the least reason being once it's known you don suffer fools they will give you a wider berth....

 

[ATC]

Don't want to tell you want to do or how to raise your child; but not every child fights. Forcing them to do so might not be the best solution.

When I came home from school beat up, my dad would take up for me, confronting the parents of bullies and schools who failed to do anything about it. Later, he got tired of it. He told me the next time I came home crying, he'd give me something to really cry about. I did, and he did. It worked; I stopped mentioning it to my father.

I did eventually learn to deal with bullies and to stand up for myself. In my own time, in my own way. That's all I can offer.

That is funny Bill. I grew up the same way except it was my Mom not my Dad that did the giving us something to cry about. Even if she heard we ran from a fight she made sure we never ran again. Something about that old school way.

 

[granfire]

LOL, yeah. My mom took care of business when she was a kid and I had her full support when I had to do it back in school.
(nowadays you have to tell the principal you call the cops out to the joint... GAH)

 

[texas_rebel_1980]

I am a very passive individual. I do not like to fight, anymore. As a child I was picked on a lot. I was bigger than everyone, wore glasses, was poor, you name it. I got into my first fight in first grade. I took a lot of crap from some older kid on the playground every day. I held it in for most of the first semester, then I told my dad. He said "the next time he comes up to you, don't even wait for him to hit you, just punch him in the mouth as hard as you can." I did. He bled and cried. It was at that moment, I discovered how good it felt to stand up for yourself. Later, I continued getting into fights. Not because I wanted to, but because people were just too stupid to leave me alone. I began to enjoy fist fights. A few years later, my dad gave me a lesson. He told me that I was to never start a fight, no matter what. He also said I was to never lose a fight, no matter what. I took that to heart. I would never swing first but I never got beat up. I put a hurting on many guys growing up, throwing one in a dumpster after I had beat him. He slapped me on the school bus and told me he was going to get off at my stop and whip my @$$. He didn't. My grandfather gave me two pair of boxing gloves for my birthday one year. My dad would box me for a couple years. I caught him on the jaw and that was it. He said no man had ever hit him that hard, and he was a brawler in his youth. Now, I try to avoid even raising my voice or arguing with people. Not to say I am a push over, but I won't let people escalate me to the point of fighting. Now should it come to a self defense situation, then I will use everything at my disposal to injure, maim or kill.....

Anyway, just continue to support him and let him know you will go to bat for him as long as he is in the right and was defending himself. It may come to him one day that to get people off your back you just gotta whip some tail sometimes. If not, be supportive. Too many times kids hold it in and get messed up in the head by it. Keep talking to him about it. Take him to some MMA events or watch it with him on tv with a beer or something.

 

[ATC]

Article on Yahoo. Guess they got wind of your issue.
http://www.thepostgame.com/features...yard-bullying-can-fight-back-help-ufc-royalty

Good read.

 

[MaxiMe]

That is funny Bill. I grew up the same way except it was my Mom not my Dad that did the giving us something to cry about. Even if she heard we ran from a fight she made sure we never ran again. Something about that old school way.

NOBODY IS FASTER THAN MOM. I mean NOBODY. Don't ask how I know just take my word for it

 

[granfire]

NOBODY IS FASTER THAN MOM. I mean NOBODY. Don't ask how I know just take my word for it

Aye.
you look at Baby crosswise, you unseal the demon Grizzly bear....then you better pray!

 

[Kong Soo Do]

I think part of it stems from the fact that my kid is a band geek (and over all dorky, nerdy and odd, aside from overweight) and I have heard too much of the 'band doesn't do that because Coach does not like it'

As I was reading through your thread, two comments jumped at me. One was that your son is overweight and the other that he has good power. That got me thinking a bit. Teens need to channel their energy into something constructive that builds their character and self-esteem. If he's overweight then he needs to address this from a physical and dietary standpoint for his health. If he has good power i.e. he's a strong kid then he's old enough now at 14 to do something like a Strong Lifts 5x5 program.

http://excoboard.com/martialwarrior/148255/1781137

This would go a LONG way towards addressing the overweight issue, build is power even more, supply him with positive self-confidence that is channelled properly. The program is centered on the squat which is THE most important compound movement. At his age it will greatly enhance his testosterone levels (in a non-roid rage sort of way) which has a direct effect on self-confidence. It is also physique transforming. I put an inch on my thigh in one month. I've trained my nephew who added 100lbs to his squat in one month as well. All of this would possibly fix a lot of the issues going on right now. You could do it with him as a father/son thing as well. That is good bonding time. After a few months you might see a surprising change and a possible desire to get back into MA training.

Those are my suggestions.

 

[granfire]

As I was reading through your thread, two comments jumped at me. One was that your son is overweight and the other that he has good power. That got me thinking a bit. Teens need to channel their energy into something constructive that builds their character and self-esteem. If he's overweight then he needs to address this from a physical and dietary standpoint for his health. If he has good power i.e. he's a strong kid then he's old enough now at 14 to do something like a Strong Lifts 5x5 program.

http://excoboard.com/martialwarrior/148255/1781137

This would go a LONG way towards addressing the overweight issue, build is power even more, supply him with positive self-confidence that is channelled properly. The program is centered on the squat which is THE most important compound movement. At his age it will greatly enhance his testosterone levels (in a non-roid rage sort of way) which has a direct effect on self-confidence. It is also physique transforming. I put an inch on my thigh in one month. I've trained my nephew who added 100lbs to his squat in one month as well. All of this would possibly fix a lot of the issues going on right now. You could do it with him as a father/son thing as well. That is good bonding time. After a few months you might see a surprising change and a possible desire to get back into MA training.

Those are my suggestions.

before I unleash my inner A-hole....

I am not familiar with this type of lifting.
5X5 does that mean the weight?
Should I put the bar across his shoulders and make him do the squats? I happen to have a long bar...some weights....can make room in the carport (at least that's my story)


As to the father/son thing.... I see a slight prob as I am the mom (told you it was gonna show... )

But all kidding aside, this sound like a plan, easily done after band practice. The kid will be huge once he grows into his feet...think Great Pyreneese puppy....

 

[Kong Soo Do]

before I unleash my inner A-hole....

I am not familiar with this type of lifting.
5X5 does that mean the weight?
Should I put the bar across his shoulders and make him do the squats? I happen to have a long bar...some weights....can make room in the carport (at least that's my story)


As to the father/son thing.... I see a slight prob as I am the mom (told you it was gonna show... )

But all kidding aside, this sound like a plan, easily done after band practice. The kid will be huge once he grows into his feet...think Great Pyreneese puppy....

My bad on the mom/dad thing

5x5 means 5 sets of 5 repetitions each. Go to the link in my first thread, it will have the exact workout. It is a 3-day and week thing such as M/W/F or T/Th/Sa. He'll start with just the bar (ideally an olympic bar which weighs 45lbs). He'll add 5lbs per workout to each lift until he is squatting 1 1/2 times his body weight.

If you have a gym nearby like the YMCA or a school gym etc that would be best as far as safety. For squatting you really need a power rack or squat rack. Or, do what I did and get one at a garage sale for a fraction of the price (same with an olympic weight set).

For each lift I've listed in the link, he'll do 5 sets of 5 repetitions each. As long as he's able to do 5 full sets of 5 full reps with good form, he'll add 5lbs to the bar on the next workout. It is simple progressive resistance training. Sticking strictly to the program his squat will go up 60lbs in one month. My nephew who started put on 100lbs in a month and he's underweight and a bean pole. As long as he's eating a good, clean diet his strength (and confidence) will sky rocket. Especially as a teenager.

Feel free to go to my board for more information and/or encouragement and also go to http://stronglifts.com/ and download the free e-book http://stronglifts.com/stronglifts-5x5-beginner-strength-training-program/

It gives a detailed summary of the exact workout with all the 'how' and 'why' of the program.