One other hint: remember that the movements start at the feet, move through the legs to the waist, from the waist to the shoulders, and expressed out through the hands. In other words, two points: in tai ji, the root is always commencing from the ground up, not from the shoulders down, and secondly, something my tai chi master taught me: the hands are the result of everything, the cause of nothing!! Also, let me draw another analogy: in kung fu, like tai chi, a distinction is made between power and strength, relaxed jing and tense power. Power does not emanate from big muscles or a tense face, but rather a flow of energy through the entire body to the point of exit penetrating into an opponent. Softness is not anything magical, and I am postulating that the Chinese word for this term does not exactly equate to the word softness (to our Chinese speaking brethern, is this true?). The word Yin is opposite of the word Yang, but completes the circle. That leads me to my last point: relaxation is on both sides of the circle, but the term softness should be taken into the context of completeness of the total yin/yang structure, not unto itself. Softness completes the movement within the tai ji form, but also helps connect to the next movement. Again, doing stationary or moving push hands will point this out more than anything, and without softness fa jing, silk reeling, peng, or appropriate stepping and feigning cannot occur, and sensitivity will never happen!