Hot head rolling partner

[Anarax]

I'm sorry for your unpleasant experience. Bad training partners that bring their ego onto the mat are annoying to work with. I'm sure his ego was bruised that someone was controlling him and submitted him twice.

if he was against an inexperienced or smaller or younger person and he lost it he could've seriously hurt someone.

That's the main concern, he could seriously hurt someone less experienced. Martial arts is a great way for people to learn control and self-discipline. However, they can't be allowed to injure people in training until they develop self-control. I think the coach should warn him about his behavior and consider throwing him out of the school if that pattern of behavior persists.

 

[JP3]

It doesn't seem like @Headhunter is having any problems controlling this pent-up/angry teenager...

Is anyone talking to this kid about the inappropriateness of his behavior, right then, when i's happening?

What's wrong with the, "Dude, relax. We're training, not fighting." approach?

 

[Headhunter]

Im curious if the kid does this with other people or just @Headhunter . If its just him, for whatever reason (not saying headhunter is doing anything, could be something as stupid as headhunter looks like his high school bully), its solved by not having the two roll together. If he's doing it with everyone, yeah seriously limit who he rolls with

He's a very cocky kid and yeah I've seen him go ott on a lot of people. But as I said he's got some kind of emotional issues apparently idk so some people take it easy and let him win from what I've seen. I don't do that. I see no plus side to doing that. I don't go hard but I roll to my ability and my comftoable pace and he probably doesn't like I'm beating him. I've seen get him when other people are controlling him as well and I've seen when people are drilling with him (I've always made damm sure not to partner up with drills) they're drilling a submission he always makes sure to defend it then starts a full out roll with the person and is going them for fully even though it's meant to be a drill

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

He's a very cocky kid and yeah I've seen him go ott on a lot of people. But as I said he's got some kind of emotional issues apparently idk so some people take it easy and let him win from what I've seen. I don't do that. I see no plus side to doing that. I don't go hard but I roll to my ability and my comftoable pace and he probably doesn't like I'm beating him. I've seen get him when other people are controlling him as well and I've seen when people are drilling with him (I've always made damm sure not to partner up with drills) they're drilling a submission he always makes sure to defend it then starts a full out roll with the person and is going them for fully even though it's meant to be a drill

Yeah, IMO he shouldn't be rolling with people then. Not only is it unsafe, but it's not helping either people if people have to purposefully go easy out of concern he'll hurt himself/them. There are plenty of good reasons to go easy in a roll or sparring match, but that's not one of them

 

[drop bear]

It doesn't seem like @Headhunter is having any problems controlling this pent-up/angry teenager...

Is anyone talking to this kid about the inappropriateness of his behavior, right then, when i's happening?

What's wrong with the, "Dude, relax. We're training, not fighting." approach?

Some people fight.

If headhunter can handle the guy I don't see an issue.

You kind of want people to be raging from time to time because it changes the dynamic.

I mean people talk realism in training. That is realistic.

 

[JR 137]

Some people fight.

If headhunter can handle the guy I don't see an issue.

You kind of want people to be raging from time to time because it changes the dynamic.

I mean people talk realism in training. That is realistic.

Time and place for everything. When both people are looking for that, then by all means. If someone’s trying to get technical and try to work some specific stuff, not so much. Drilling, not so much.

There’s a time to go all out and a time to have a relatively relaxed roll. Either way, everyone’s got to keep their emotions in check. I consistently go harder than most. But I’m definitely not getting bent out of shape when someone’s better than me and/or dominating me. In fact, it puts a huge smile on my face. I also know who to go toe to toe with and who can’t handle it and/or just flat out doesn’t want to.

A woman a rank or two below me made a comment the other night as we were walking off the floor. She told me I go harder with her than anyone else does (doesn’t sound appropriate on paper ) and I pretty much push her to her limit. I felt bad and thought she was trying to tell me to lighten up in a nice way. All the signals she gave me tell me she wants to. I asked her if I should lighten up, and she responded “No, I love that. I need someone really pushing me hard and not going easy.” I almost said I could go harder, but I figured I’d leave well enough alone

 

[drop bear]

Time and place for everything. When both people are looking for that, then by all means. If someone’s trying to get technical and try to work some specific stuff, not so much. Drilling, not so much.

There’s a time to go all out and a time to have a relatively relaxed roll. Either way, everyone’s got to keep their emotions in check. I consistently go harder than most. But I’m definitely not getting bent out of shape when someone’s better than me and/or dominating me. In fact, it puts a huge smile on my face. I also know who to go toe to toe with and who can’t handle it and/or just flat out doesn’t want to.

A woman a rank or two below me made a comment the other night as we were walking off the floor. She told me I go harder with her than anyone else does (doesn’t sound appropriate on paper ) and I pretty much push her to her limit. I felt bad and thought she was trying to tell me to lighten up in a nice way. All the signals she gave me tell me she wants to. I asked her if I should lighten up, and she responded “No, I love that. I need someone really pushing me hard and not going easy.” I almost said I could go harder, but I figured I’d leave well enough alone

For me as soon as they bring it. I bring it. And the reason for that is it is very easy to look for light technical rolls rather than hard grindy ones.

But to develop a professional mindset to fighting I think you have to embrace the hardships even if you did not ask for them.

It is about learning to react with courage.

And for me it is very much the self defense nature of martial arts. Where you may not want to go to war with a guy. But you may have to.

 

[JR 137]

For me as soon as they bring it. I bring it. And the reason for that is it is very easy to look for light technical rolls rather than hard grindy ones.

But to develop a professional mindset to fighting I think you have to embrace the hardships even if you did not ask for them.

It is about learning to react with courage.

And for me it is very much the self defense nature of martial arts. Where you may not want to go to war with a guy. But you may have to.

I agree with where you’re coming from. But there’s a difference between going hard and actually fighting some douche bag day in and day out. People need to keep their emotions in check, especially when they’re getting outworked or just downright outclassed.

 

[Headhunter]

For me as soon as they bring it. I bring it. And the reason for that is it is very easy to look for light technical rolls rather than hard grindy ones.

But to develop a professional mindset to fighting I think you have to embrace the hardships even if you did not ask for them.

It is about learning to react with courage.

And for me it is very much the self defense nature of martial arts. Where you may not want to go to war with a guy. But you may have to.

I'm not going to hurt a kid just to prove myself

 

[Headhunter]

Some people fight.

If headhunter can handle the guy I don't see an issue.

You kind of want people to be raging from time to time because it changes the dynamic.

I mean people talk realism in training. That is realistic.

No you don't because I have no desire to get hurt because of someone's ego also yes I can handle it but if he starts doing that to younger smaller less experienced people that's when it becomes very dangerous

 

[drop bear]

Hot headed training partners bring up an interesting concept. Which is the difference

I agree with where you’re coming from. But there’s a difference between going hard and actually fighting some douche bag day in and day out. People need to keep their emotions in check, especially when they’re getting outworked or just downright outclassed.

And that is the point. There is a big difference between going hard and dealing with a duche bag.

So that duche bag gives you a unique element to your training.

 

[drop bear]

No you don't because I have no desire to get hurt because of someone's ego also yes I can handle it but if he starts doing that to younger smaller less experienced people that's when it becomes very dangerous

Your stance isn't uncommon. And why for ages I got handled by guys that I considered myself technically better than.

They just had more mental toughness.

 

[Headhunter]

Your stance isn't uncommon. And why for ages I got handled by guys that I considered myself technically better than.

They just had more mental toughness.

So me injuring a kid is going to make me better? Yeah no if you're not secure enough in yourself that if you have to injure kids then that's you but I'm not hurting kids in training that's just stupid

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Im curious if the kid does this with other people or just @Headhunter . If its just him, for whatever reason (not saying headhunter is doing anything, could be something as stupid as headhunter looks like his high school bully), its solved by not having the two roll together. If he's doing it with everyone, yeah seriously limit who he rolls with

Yeah, it could be a conflict entirely in the kid's head. Maybe HH said something one time the kid took as an insult, and now he's just trying to get him to fight.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Some people fight.

If headhunter can handle the guy I don't see an issue.

You kind of want people to be raging from time to time because it changes the dynamic.

I mean people talk realism in training. That is realistic.

I can't agree with that if it's an uncontrolled person in the dojo/gym, db. So long as their partner can control them, it's not an issue in free rolling, but people are having to let him win to keep him from raging, so it's not adding realism to their fight training. And what happens when some new guy doesn't know this, does what he can to try to submit the kid, manages to submit him once, and then has this kid trying to actually hurt them?

This isn't the same as having someone push people and go hard, risking some injuries with agreement.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

For me as soon as they bring it. I bring it. And the reason for that is it is very easy to look for light technical rolls rather than hard grindy ones.

But to develop a professional mindset to fighting I think you have to embrace the hardships even if you did not ask for them.

It is about learning to react with courage.

And for me it is very much the self defense nature of martial arts. Where you may not want to go to war with a guy. But you may have to.

And that's why I'd restrict him to more experienced partners. The new folks may not have the tools to protect themselves.

 

[drop bear]

So me injuring a kid is going to make me better? Yeah no if you're not secure enough in yourself that if you have to injure kids then that's you but I'm not hurting kids in training that's just stupid

Then let him win. Problem solved.

I mean if your ego isn't involved. Then there isn't an issue.

 

[Headhunter]

Then let him win. Problem solved.

No I'm going to continue doIng what I'm doing. I'm going to lower myself to the level of some punk and start injuring kids just to prove myself

 

[drop bear]

No I'm going to continue doIng what I'm doing. I'm going to lower myself to the level of some punk and start injuring kids just to prove myself

That's fine. But then it is you who is ego rolling.

 

[drop bear]

And that's why I'd restrict him to more experienced partners. The new folks may not have the tools to protect themselves.

Well so far it is only headhunter who he rages at and is dangerous to.