uncomfortable situation in sparring

[Cirdan]

I always thought the best training partner you can have is the one who hurts you a little when you do a mistake. A side kick below the ribs is probably the best favour you can do somone rushing in. I have been dealt the exact same treatment myself and handed it out a few times. And guess what, we all leaned not to rush in blindly again.

A little pain can teach you a lot. This is why i don`t wear a cup :uhyeah:

 

[searcher]

I am not sure how much bigger he is than you, but it should not make a difference. With it being an adult male against an adutl female you should be able to do what you want and he should just live with it, especially with him being at 1st kyu. Keep working hard and be prepared for what hemight try and do. Sounds like he is a windbag and you knocked a little out of him. You should mention it to your instructor and see what he/she has to say.

 

[Sukerkin]

Part of training in the martial arts is the development of personal control. By mastery of the body you also work towards the mastery of exterraneous emotions and intentions. So I can't really say that I support searcher's second sentence above.

I am aware that the spiritual/psychological side of things means little to many who practice the arts. However, even leaving most of that content aside, working at improving the physical and combative aspects of the arts is a bit like only training with weights on one leg. Eventually one leg will get very strong but when you walk you will have a tendency to go in circles.

As Mr Miyagi once so famously said, to paraphrase, one of the keys to martial arts is balance. So, regardless of the rights and wrongs of the situation, one thing you certainly don't want to inculcate are the negative attributes of over-competativeness/aggressiveness.

In twelve years of empty-hand training, I only ever came across one person with an attitude so bad that it got in her way. She had a chip on her shoulder the size of fujiyama and given the way she laid into every chap she sparred with (including me) I can only assume she had what are today called 'issues' buried in her past somewhere. Anyhow, the 'back story' reasons are unimportant. The result of her uncontrolled sparring and her unwillingness to learn 'balance' was that she was a brown sash when I started and she only progressed to black sash in the same year that I did (which showed that she had the positive quality of tenacity, so that she stuck with it).

I don't think that the questions should be belaboured but they are important ones to consider ... what did you start to practise martial arts for and why do you continue? The answers are quite pertinent to how the road will be.

 

[Em MacIntosh]

I definitely feel that the amount of ROOM FOR missunderstanding is directly liked to the amount OF missunderstanding. If you talk to the instructor, be diplomatic (duh..). If the instructor gets offended by concern and outwardly displays this, I would reconsider his caliber as an instructor (I doubt he's a bad instructor, just reccommending for a possible scenario). I'd continue to spar with him as your kicks will get better as his will if you both practice and you guys can help each other out. It'll also lessen the surprise if a couple months down the road he's whipped himself into shape and then you spar. Sparring is definitely not designed to injure as that takes you backwards. Still, I'd keep sparring with him, if you tag him he should learn a lesson. That's the whole point of sparring, IMO of course.
Keep givin' him whoopins if ya can, s'what I sez. If it gets escalated though, watch yourself. It would be unfortunate for one of you to be injured and one of you to be expelled.

 

[Marginal]

At this point he informed me that he had been training at the dojo for 15 years but this had been his first class after a 4 year hiatus. He also let me know that before he left, no one could kick him hard enough to make him hurt, and that there was a time when everyone feared HIS kicks. This was all fine, but the last thing really threw me. "Just wait a couple months. You'll see."

Depends on the context, but I usually hear something like that from people who are commenting on how out of shape they are when they don't want to outright say they're out of shape. It's not usually a threat, just an admission that they aren't where they used to be, and are embarassed that they've fallen so far out of fighting form.

He could just be afraid you'll only see him as a unskilled duffer from now on. Coming back from a long break can be rough.