Xinglu
Black Belt
It would seem. Assumptions only serve to do one thing... and I think we all know what that is.
Hitting women
- Thread starter Wey
- Start date
It would seem. Assumptions only serve to do one thing... and I think we all know what that is.
celtic_crippler
Senior Master
Xinglu
Black Belt
So...you assume we all know what that "thing" is?
LOL Precisely! Someone caught it! :highfive:
Anyways - I would hope that most have heard it, "Assumptions only serve to make an a** out of you and me."
BLACK LION
Black Belt
There should never be a need to use full force on a female unless she was attempting to kill you... Anything below that is a hands off kind situation if at all possible and if not I would never strike a female especially when there are plenty of "compliance" methods that can be administered without injuring them... If its a social or domestic setting then you need to just walk away and put her on ice for a period of time...
Even were she trying to kill me, full force might be overkill (pun intended) About 15 years ago, my ex wife was throwing coffee cups and plates, and finally tried to kick me in the groin, I lost it for a moment, threw one punch, stepped over her and grabbed my wallet, walked around the corner to the 7-11, called the cops and they arrested HER. Anecdotal, sure, but, then that is what happened.
stonewall1350
Blue Belt
Is there ever ANY reason that a full grown man should think it acceptable to hit women? Yes, I am only 20...but I dont feel my personality fits with today's. I dont smoke, no tobacco, I dont even drink. Sometimes I feel that justice is not nearly a harsh as it should be. But I am old school in thought. I feel that alot of the older values were good values...when I date I open doors, pull out chairs, I dont swear. I have never really heard this question come up...but I can say that there is NEVER an acceptable reason for a male to resort to physical violence against a woman unless she is...in short...trying to kill the man.
Now if she is talking bad about you...bashing you...telling you that your penis is small...you better at least have the stones to take that. Part of being a man is NOT losing your temper and having self control. If she slaps you...what did you do to get slapped? If you dont have it in you to take a slap to the face then you arent a man. I was punched full force in the face by my cousin a few months ago. We were tired and he was a little sick. We had been hunting all week and he got upset over some trivial thing and took a full on punch that knocked my jaw so hard it didnt sit right for 4 days. I didnt swing back, it was pointless he was sick, pissed off, out of control, and I would have beat him black and blue. I did of course get him against the truck and keep him from hitting me anymore. If I have the restraint to keep from fighting a family member who punched me, any man can keep himself from hitting a woman if she slaps him.
Now on to another issue that I have heard. If she comes at you with an object(now lets face it, if your in a relationship or situation where he woman is trying to give you a nose job the old fashion way, you REALLY need to reconsider your dating plan). Now you DO have the right to "defend" yourself. That means gaining control over her and keeping her from hurting you. You dont need to punch her, knock her out, whatever. You should be able to parry, dodge, block any blunt object or any object being thrown at you short of hammers and wrenches. Or you could just get the hell out of wherever you are and call the police.
Now if she is trying to STAB you or shoot you...thats intent to kill...thats when its time to actually resort to physical violence and defend yourself. But how often does that happen? This question is SO similar to the when is rape not rape question. I mean the fact is....rape is rape when she says no. It comes down to self control and the man who has it and the one who doesnt. I know that I could not be a cop because I could not resist the temptation of putting the bullet in the skull of a man who beat the hell out of a woman or raped her and it was obvious as to what happened. Personally I think we should bring back the rope for heinous crimes like that. I mean all this talk of going green and we got rid of the noose? Its cheap, reusable, and its got the fear factor. But hey i got the self control not to be the cop eh? lol
Now if she is talking bad about you...bashing you...telling you that your penis is small...you better at least have the stones to take that. Part of being a man is NOT losing your temper and having self control. If she slaps you...what did you do to get slapped? If you dont have it in you to take a slap to the face then you arent a man. I was punched full force in the face by my cousin a few months ago. We were tired and he was a little sick. We had been hunting all week and he got upset over some trivial thing and took a full on punch that knocked my jaw so hard it didnt sit right for 4 days. I didnt swing back, it was pointless he was sick, pissed off, out of control, and I would have beat him black and blue. I did of course get him against the truck and keep him from hitting me anymore. If I have the restraint to keep from fighting a family member who punched me, any man can keep himself from hitting a woman if she slaps him.
Now on to another issue that I have heard. If she comes at you with an object(now lets face it, if your in a relationship or situation where he woman is trying to give you a nose job the old fashion way, you REALLY need to reconsider your dating plan). Now you DO have the right to "defend" yourself. That means gaining control over her and keeping her from hurting you. You dont need to punch her, knock her out, whatever. You should be able to parry, dodge, block any blunt object or any object being thrown at you short of hammers and wrenches. Or you could just get the hell out of wherever you are and call the police.
Now if she is trying to STAB you or shoot you...thats intent to kill...thats when its time to actually resort to physical violence and defend yourself. But how often does that happen? This question is SO similar to the when is rape not rape question. I mean the fact is....rape is rape when she says no. It comes down to self control and the man who has it and the one who doesnt. I know that I could not be a cop because I could not resist the temptation of putting the bullet in the skull of a man who beat the hell out of a woman or raped her and it was obvious as to what happened. Personally I think we should bring back the rope for heinous crimes like that. I mean all this talk of going green and we got rid of the noose? Its cheap, reusable, and its got the fear factor. But hey i got the self control not to be the cop eh? lol
If, after say, pinning her arms to her side and her *** to the wall so she cannot hit you.
You go to the other room to avoid her and any problems, there is a knock at the door, and two policemen enter to arrest you because your grip caused bruises and she called the cops and said You attacked Her.
Or,
You could lay her out and call the cops yourself...
Your choice, mine has the aggressor wearing the handcuffs, your's has you likely to wear them.
You go to the other room to avoid her and any problems, there is a knock at the door, and two policemen enter to arrest you because your grip caused bruises and she called the cops and said You attacked Her.
Or,
You could lay her out and call the cops yourself...
Your choice, mine has the aggressor wearing the handcuffs, your's has you likely to wear them.
stonewall1350
Blue Belt
NOT smart. You lay her out and she can say she only defended herself for so long till you knocked her out...especially with the way domestic violence is traditionally looked at. Any defense attorney including Ted could win that law suit(points to those who got that). Of course grip marks can be EASILY explained, not to mention I would feel FAR more comfortable having control from the rear bear hug style(FIVE WHOOPSH...sorry another reference and points to those who got it). I am assuming this situation is domesic violence quality.
This isnt the shoot or dont shoot situation. I mean its one thing to explain the dead body and how you legally shot the person. Its alot harder to explain that you didnt start the fight when the person who started hitting you has a concussion and a fractured skull. especially in a domestic violence situation.
With my current wife; we have a peaceful and mature relationship. Raised voices do not even enter into it (never mind raised hands).
I my early adult relationships, I did not hit or yell at women, except during martial arts training. There I got as good as I gave.
Being a gentleman was what I was raised to be and I was proud of that upbringing.
However...
My second wife was a bully. All five foot two and one hundred pounds of her. If she didn't get her way, her voice went up. From there, things just got worse.
She didn't exhibit this violent behaviour until we ran into some difficulties a few years after we were married.
The first time she shoved me, I stepped back. When she went to shove me again, I cuffed her.
It didn't hurt her but here is what surprised me. She later told me that she would not have stopped attacking me physically until I fought back.
The writing was on the wall.
When she left, she called the police and they showed up eight strong. She had told them I was a black belt.
Frankly, I was relieved to see them and told them so. Their presence put an end to the hostilities.
In the end, I simply quit speaking to her...at all. Even after we were divorced.
It was most shocking to me, a seasoned black belt, that this life partner would resort to violence to get her way.
But if I had not hit back, she would have just continued attacking me.
I my early adult relationships, I did not hit or yell at women, except during martial arts training. There I got as good as I gave.
Being a gentleman was what I was raised to be and I was proud of that upbringing.
However...
My second wife was a bully. All five foot two and one hundred pounds of her. If she didn't get her way, her voice went up. From there, things just got worse.
She didn't exhibit this violent behaviour until we ran into some difficulties a few years after we were married.
The first time she shoved me, I stepped back. When she went to shove me again, I cuffed her.
It didn't hurt her but here is what surprised me. She later told me that she would not have stopped attacking me physically until I fought back.
The writing was on the wall.
When she left, she called the police and they showed up eight strong. She had told them I was a black belt.
Frankly, I was relieved to see them and told them so. Their presence put an end to the hostilities.
In the end, I simply quit speaking to her...at all. Even after we were divorced.
It was most shocking to me, a seasoned black belt, that this life partner would resort to violence to get her way.
But if I had not hit back, she would have just continued attacking me.
sgtmac_46
Senior Master
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She resorted to several levels of violence to get her way........and when physically doing it didn't work, she manipulated the state to engage in violence on her behalf. Age old story.
The fact is that those who engage in violence as a control mechanism within a relationship are usually willing to engage in other manipulative and damaging behavior, especially if that physical manipulation doesn't work.
Dragon Soul
White Belt
I've been in this situation plently of times with my current girlfriend. Before I got with her, I never had a temper with women, I was raised better than that. I'm normally the type to just walk away from an argument or situation that may become hostile, but with my lady, it isn't quite that simple, she'll follow you into the next room and continue her onslaught of verbal abuse. I would ask kindly to be left alone to cool down, then I get a "make me!" or "you're not gonna do anything!". And we live together, so I can't just leave and go home to my bed.
My mother told me that times were different these days, and some women have less conviction toward men and in some cases the rule against hitting women does not apply. My mom changed the rule to: "A gentleman should never EVER strike a LADY, but a B**CH is just asking for it". I think it's unfair that some women take for granted that a gentleman won't strike them and think they can get away with anything. I think one should be a gentleman toward a lady, and a woman should act like a lady if she wants to be treated as such.
sgtmac_46
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Depends on the woman.......... http://www.sptimes.com/News/112401/TampaBay/Slain_boy_s_mother_ha.shtml
Not every woman is your mother or your sister.
Dragon Soul
White Belt
Precisely Sgtmac, we aren't in the age where every woman wears billowing dresses on a daily basis, curtsy, and stays at home cooking dinner and washing clothes. They are our equals and I treat them as such. In fact, to not treat them equally would be disrespectful and demeaning to everything people like Susan B. Anthony worked for.
Twin Fist
Grandmaster
equal rights come with equal responsibilities
and sometimes, just like men, women need to learn when to shut the hell up.
there are lines you just do NOT cross.
and sometimes, just like men, women need to learn when to shut the hell up.
there are lines you just do NOT cross.
CoryKS
Senior Master
Maybe true, but that would require a principled stand on the concept of equality, where one agreed to accept the drawbacks as well as the benefits. Most people don't hold to principles, they'd rather get the best deal for themselves. I would guess that even if you believed in the positive aspects of equality, few women are going to thank you for handling them the same way you would handle a man who got up in your face.
Twin Fist
Grandmaster
oh trust me, i know that. "Treat me the same as a man"
"ok, I aint paying for dinner."
"but,,,,but,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,"
"and you can get the door for yourself too."
"ok, I aint paying for dinner."
"but,,,,but,,,,,,,but,,,,,,,"
"and you can get the door for yourself too."
sgtmac_46
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Quite true, and well beyond the domestic violence angle, which is a different story, it is not beyond the realm of possibility to be confronted by a violent female criminal.
In fact, while statistically men still engage in far more acts of overt criminal violent behavior, women account for a not insignificant portion of criminal acts, especially alarming is the rise of violent female gang members.
So, one needs to ask oneself, if confronted by three or four violent females intent on serious assault, how far is one willing to go to defend oneself.
OP
Wey
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- Thread Starter
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Interesting, some people are saying is absolutely never ok to hit a woman, others say if they want equal treatment, being hit comes along with that.
Of course, it is hard to say how you would react until you're actually in that position. To each their own though, I just wanted to hear a couple of different view points.
Of course, it is hard to say how you would react until you're actually in that position. To each their own though, I just wanted to hear a couple of different view points.
