For Steve - My self defense training and experience

[JowGaWolf]

This is for you Steve:
How much experience do you have dealing with angry people in general? In person or on a phone? how much training do you have on de-escalation? I mean, formal training, but you can share informal training, too.

I've dealt with aggressive people all my life. I have lived in and worked in violent areas, I've been confronted with guns. I work in IT support and I deal with angry customers from time to time which is how I know how the call center works and how your assumption about de-escalation and call centers is incorrect.

I don't have any formal training. Lots of stuff I learned from black parents who went through worse teaching their black child how not to be a victim of the streets. MMA folks always talking about pressure testing . The fact that I've been through some of the stuff I've been through and lived in some of the places I've lived in without trauma or injury speaks to my ability to apply self defense skills. The only time conflict with people stopped being an issue was probably 4 years ago. People don't try to test me like they used to. The last issue was a glitch at the gym. This guy thought I was trying to start something to with him. He walked 3 feet and saw I wasn't looking at him I was trying to see my phone.

A lot of what I was taught to stay safe on the streets are the same lessons I teach in self-defense. A lot of what is taught in TMA schools that doesn't deal with fighting lines up with the success I've had with my own self-defense.

 

[Hanshi]

Interesting. As a former LEO I've dealt with most of what you mention and I learned pretty well how to de-escalate situations. It doesn't work in all situations but it does work often enough to not dismiss. I caution students to avoid potential locations where trouble commonly occurs, to not get drunk anywhere outside the home or a known safe place. I know a lot of truly "dangerous" martial artists and thankfully they are all very or casual friends. And almost to the man/woman they will attempt to walk away from trouble; but trust me, they will not run away from it. I've walked away from any number of confrontations simply because I knew I would hurt them badly if I took their bait.

 

[Steve]

oh boy. This is weird. I think you missed the point. It’s not about you. It’s about whether joe TMA instructor is equipped to teach de escalation techniques because he has a black belt in martial arts.

It’s also about whether an activity is spiritual because it says so on the sales brochure.

But it was genuinely nice to learn a little more about you.

 

[drop bear]

de escalation is one of those tricky systems that you never really know if it is going to work unless you try it on a guy who wants to escalate.

Sales is probably the best thought out method that would be actually teachable as a system.

 

[Steve]

de escalation is one of those tricky systems that you never really know if it is going to work unless you try it on a guy who wants to escalate.

Sales is probably the best thought out method that would be actually teachable as a system.

Sales would be a good one, but for my money, I'm going to take the sweet, blue haired lady who works behind the counter at your local government office. In most direct contact government positions, particularly at the State or Federal level, that person will deal with more angry, irrational people in a day than most people do in a life time. I'd put it on par with cops, bouncers, and the like.

You make a good point, though. Some folks specifically want to escalate.

Funny story from working in retail where I failed my de-escalation roll. When I was finishing up my undergrad degree, I worked in a cool store that sold art reproductions, venetian jewelry... nothing too fancy, but it was a store where folks bought gifts that were a little more unique. One day, a lady came in ready to rumble. She had her new husband in tow and they were returning all of their wedding gifts. So, she plops a statue on the counter and asks for cash.

Me: Sure, no problem. I just need a receipt.
Her (very snarky): It was a wedding gift, moron. I don't have a receipt.
Me: Well, without a receipt, I can give you store credit.
Her: I don't want any of this crap. I want cash.
Me: If they had wanted to give you cash, they would have written you a check.

Her husband actually laughed, which effectively de-escalated the situation. I gave her a store credit and they left. I'll never forget that exchange, though.

 

[Wing Woo Gar]

Sales would be a good one, but for my money, I'm going to take the sweet, blue haired lady who works behind the counter at your local government office. In most direct contact government positions, particularly at the State or Federal level, that person will deal with more angry, irrational people in a day than most people do in a life time. I'd put it on par with cops, bouncers, and the like.

You make a good point, though. Some folks specifically want to escalate.

Funny story from working in retail where I failed my de-escalation roll. When I was finishing up my undergrad degree, I worked in a cool store that sold art reproductions, venetian jewelry... nothing too fancy, but it was a store where folks bought gifts that were a little more unique. One day, a lady came in ready to rumble. She had her new husband in tow and they were returning all of their wedding gifts. So, she plops a statue on the counter and asks for cash.

Me: Sure, no problem. I just need a receipt.
Her (very snarky): It was a wedding gift, moron. I don't have a receipt.
Me: Well, without a receipt, I can give you store credit.
Her: I don't want any of this crap. I want cash.
Me: If they had wanted to give you cash, they would have written you a check.

Her husband actually laughed, which effectively de-escalated the situation. I gave her a store credit and they left. I'll never forget that exchange, though.

That sounded like a success, not a failed roll.