Feels impossible

[Gyakuto]

Now after 9 and half months i feel even more frustration and disappointment. I feel like i got stuck and there is no progress at all.

This is completely normal when learning any complex task like martial arts. Being anxious about it won’t help. Accept that achieving expertise takes time and consistency of practise.

63kg bench press 4-6 times with 3 sets.

Assuming you’re working at 80-90% of your one rep maximum weight, three sets is only OK but your progress will be slow. You need to work up to between 8-12 sets! of 6-10 reps. The last two reps of each set should be hard.

Flexibility is now that i can slightly very short touch hand palms to ground and with 1 leg stretch and the other also i can place at on an steel barbel which is 135 high.

Very good! You are improving!

I know reactions like plateau and keep going and it will take years. But, why i have this **** feeling that i even can't punch/kick properly??

I think your issue is in your head. You sound like an anxious person who may have unrealistic expectations of progress. You need to sort out your ‘head game’.

Going consistent 4 days a week. Session is here maximum 45-50 minutes and that is in every single kickboxing gym.

I assume you’re a young person so this is a reasonable amount of exercise. Just carry on and you will get there even if it doesn’t feel like it!