Fear and Preparation Help

[Kuro]

First of all let me apologize if I am doing something wrong. I am new to the forum and after a recent altercation I really need some questions answered and some help if anyone can. Let me just say I have never had any personal training in a school, gym, etc. Because the styles I am interested in there are no training places here. I am mainly into combat oriented self-defense systems such as Krav Maga, Senshido, and Combatives. Though I have had no formal training I have an extensive collection of books and videos and training equipment. Some material are as follows.

Senshido/Other Self Defense:
The Shredder
Surviving the Streets.
Senshido Tactical Unarmed Combat
Armed 2 The Teeth 1 and 2 by Sammy Franco
Widowmaker Program by Sammy Franco
In Your Face by Sammy Franco
Jim West Fight to Win TRS Direct
Silat Mubai Videos
Old Manuals by Bruce Tegner
Marc MacYoung Books

Krav Maga/Kapap/Lotar/Haganah:
Mike Lee Kanarek's Haganah F.I.G.H.T. 1-5 Series
Krav Maga (A 5 Tape Krav Maga Training Series)
Nir Maman Israeli Connection 1-4 TRS Direct

Combatives:
Hock Hoccheim Street Fighter Series
Hock Hoccheim Knife Fighting Vids
Jim Grover's Combative Series 1-3
James Webb Green Beret Advanced Special Forces 1-4 by Panther
Frank Cucci Navy Seals Videos 1-5 by Panther
Frank Cucci Unarmed Combat Course TRS Direct
FM 21-150 Editions up to 2002
Old Manuals by Rex Applegate, W.E. Fairbairn, Malcom Harris

This is all just to let you know what I have been studying on my own and where I stand. However I know at home training is no substitute for one on one training. Even though I have all these works I try to keep arsenal simple. My only problem is and you are probably going to laugh at this. I have never really been in a fight. However today I almost had my first altercation. Now of course my first instinct is to avoid at all cost. Walk or run away. However this time it almost came to blows. When training and all I feel invincible but I think today was my first look at reality. I felt sick, afraid and confused. Not because forgot my training but all that was going through my head was "man what if I can't combat this guy". If the guys friend hadn't step in I have no idea where it would have went. Ever since it happened I have been stressing and feel that all my studying has been for nothing. Is this a normal reaction, is there anything I can do to combat that kind of stress and fear. Did I do something wrong. Is it because I have never been in an altercation. Anything you guys can tell me would be gladly appreciated.

 

[bydand]

The time to start to worry is when you DON'T have those feelings. Anybody who says they are not the least bit afraid when it comes to blows is either stupid, or doesn't relize the danger that is at hand. That may sound a bit harsh; but even a kid can do damage if they are prepared and you are not, or you take the situation too lightly. Shoot, last time I got a knife cut was when my 3 and 4 year old sons took steak knifes out of the drawer and was pretend sword fighting with them (It was halloween time and older brothers were pirates). I went to take them away and one of the little buggers got me, granted it was an accident and it was very minor, but I learned a valuable lesson that day.

 

[Kacey]

You did nothing wrong, and have nothing to be ashamed of. The first rule of self-defense is "don't get into a situation where you need to defend yourself". The second rule is "run like hell". The third rule is "do whatever you have to do to get away, then run like hell". You never know what training and/or experience your potential opponent may have; avoidance is always a better choice whenever possible.

 

[KenpoTex]

For not having any formal training, I'd say you're off to a good start. The stuff by Jim Grover/Kelly McCaan, Fairbairn and Applegate, and Rich Dimitri's Senshido material are all particularly good.

Now, as far as your questions...

You're always going to be "afraid" or apprehensive. The thing that has to be done is to prevent those feelings from affecting you in a negative way. When you were thinking "man what if I can't combat this guy," you were exhibiting a losing mindset and acknowledging the possibilty of failure. You have to develop a winning mindset, a mindset that says, "I am going to win NO MATTER WHAT!"

There's no simple answer for how to accomplish this. One method is to visualize during training. For example, when you're hitting the bag, you're NOT hitting a bag...you're hitting a 6'2" 250 lb. ex-con who just told you he's going to kidnap your wife/mother/sister/whatever. Taking this guy down is the only chance your loved-one has of staying alive. Don't train to beat someone you think you can dominate...train to fight your worst nightmare.

Another exercise is more mental than anything else. Simply ask yourself, "self" (sorry ) What am I willing to fight for and what am I willing to kill for?" After you've arrived at your answer, ask yourself what behavior(s) your attacker is going to have to display to "trigger" you into going all out.

here are a couple of great articles that you may find helpful:
http://www.urbancombatives.com/fear.htm
http://www.urbancombatives.com/fairbairns_concepts.htm

It sounds like you take your training seriously and I commend you for being willing to admit your shortcomings and seek advice. I would highly recommend that you try to find someone to train with. If there's not a school in your area, try to find someone that shares your interests, get a pair of focus mitts or a shield, and work through the material in your instructional tapes. I think that many times, just being able to see your material working can help boost your confidence and cut down (to an extent) the anxiety that you will feel.

That said, as I mentioned earlier, you're always going to be "afraid." It just gets easier to ignore.

 

[morph4me]

There isn't alot to add here, Bydand and Kacey pretty much said it all. That sick, scared feeling happens every time I think there might be cause to get into a physical confrontation, and I've been training most of my adult life.

I would suggest that if you're that interested in martial arts, that you find a good instructor and learn from someone who can give you feedback,

Welcome to MT

 

[Kuro]

I want to thank you all for your understanding and respectful/informative responses. Your responses and information really helped me calm down and I will take what was said into consideration.

 

[Drac]

The time to start to worry is when you DON'T have those feelings. Anybody who says they are not the least bit afraid when it comes to blows is either stupid, or doesn't relize the danger that is at hand. That may sound a bit harsh; but even a kid can do damage if they are prepared and you are not.

A dammed good post...I have been a cop for 19 years and TO THIS DAY I always feel a little "fear" when approaching a situation that may become physical...

 

[SFC JeffJ]

You didn't do anything wrong nor have you anything to be ashamed of!

One thing you might consider is when you practice, to really get your heart rate up and your muscles a bit on the tired side. Try running, jumping jacks, or something along those lines before practicing your SD. It adds to the stress levels and can really change things up.

Jeff

 

[searcher]

You stated earlier that you had no access to the styles you wanted to train in. Have you considered going to some seminars or a training camp? They can be a wonderful help, even to experienced MA people. You may want to consider going and getting some type of formal training, even if it is not in the styel you truly want to learn. It can help when you do find a place that has what you are looking for.

 

[jks9199]

A dammed good post...I have been a cop for 19 years and TO THIS DAY I always feel a little "fear" when approaching a situation that may become physical...

I don't have 19 years on ... But the day I walk into a situation without a little bit of concern/worry/apprehension about what might happen is the day I need to stop working.

Someone once said something to the effect that courage isn't not feeling fear; it's doing something in spite of feeling fear.

 

[Drac]

I don't have 19 years on ... But the day I walk into a situation without a little bit of concern/worry/apprehension about what might happen is the day I need to stop working.

Amen Brother

Someone once said something to the effect that courage isn't not feeling fear; it's doing something in spite of feeling fear.

They were wise beyond their years...

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Kuro try to find some seminars near your home area or close enough to drive to and get some instruction. You need feedback that only a teacher who is working with you will be able to give. Your book list is good but I would advise you to see out some instruction at this time. Good luck.

 

[Drac]

Kuro try to find some seminars near your home area or close enough to drive to and get some instruction. at this time. Good luck.

Ya beat me to it Brian..With my limited days off I try to find a weekend seminar Sat and Sun and REALLY get some training in...

 

[thetruth]

Definitely get some training of some sort. Granted there is some wonderful information available in books but they can't see and correct any errors you may be making. If you can't get some buddies around who like to do the same thing and atleast train together to see what works for you and what doesn't. The bodies response to fear is generally non-negotiable. As far as adrenaline and what not are concerned they effect everyone.

It is funny though if you are genuinely fighting for something you 100% believe in at the time of the altercation it will effect you less. By this I mean if you are fighting over a car space, a dirty look or a bar stool, chances are that if you didn't instigate the altercation and are generally a good person then you wouldn't consider fighting over such things. This in turn effects you mind and body. Because you don't want to fight then your mind doesn't prepare your body to fight straight away hence you become more aware of how you feel. If however someone you love was being beaten I guarentee you wouldn't notice anything until after you did what you had to do. Then the effects of the adrenaline and other hormones etc would be very noticable. You would also feel the effects of the fight stress left if someone came up and smacked you in the face as your body would go straight to fight mode.

Cheers
Sammy:asian:

 

[thetruth]

Sorry the bottom line of the above post should read 'fight stress less' not 'fight stress left'

Cheers
Sam:asian:

 

[stabpunch]

Hi Kuro,
Unfortunately i am very much of the school of thought that you need to experience physical contact to help minimise the fear of being hit or hitting. I say unfortuantely because i often have to defend this opinion. Contact conditions the body and mind to the actuality of a situation and not the mybes and what if's.

Having said this there is always going to be a fear factor as it is instinctual and serves to protect you.

The idea of sparring is controversial amongst the styles, i say how can you know what an apple truly tastes and feels like having only seen and heard about it?