Every fight is potentially a life-or-death event

[Gerry Seymour]

Depending on the age and where you are, being considered a wuss could be a huge downside. It may have the potential to guarantee that the harassment will not only continue but it will also get worse, such is the case with bullying these days. Sometimes it's better to may Bullying an expensive practice. Every time someone bullies me, they earn a punch in the face. From there the bully can determine how many "frequent flier miles" on bully airlines he wants to earn. I'm pretty sure that somewhere down the line the bully isn't going to see that other kid as a destination.

I don't know how adult bullying is these days, but my approach has always been. "Come get some, if you want to" and " he must have not cared about it to much because he kept walking." The first one has the logic of, if someone is willing to go all out to the end, then maybe it's not worth messing with that guy. The other one has the logic of, if someone doesn't care enough about harassing to the point where they want to hit me, then I'll let it go and will be more than happy to walk away.

The one thing I don't ever want to appear is weak. The appearance of weakness attracts predators

It can, but that's situational. If it's some goomba on the street, there's little downside to him talking **** with his buddies that night. Most of us don't live in an area where we have to worry about gangs and such. With bullies, fighting is rarely necessary to back them down - that willingness to fight that DB and others have mentioned usually does the trick.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Your issues with training competitively. Or training with risk of someone getting hurt.

That has never been an issue with defense, though. And there's always a risk of someone getting hurt, if you train with any intensity.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

if your going to ell me I'm incorrect, at least be correct yourself

"its coward of the county"

"The Gambler" was often used to refer to the singer, himself.

 

[jobo]

"The Gambler" was often used to refer to the singer, himself.

so your wrong then and ate just scratching about making up silly excuses, sometime you have to admit your mistakes to be a man

 

[Gerry Seymour]

so your wrong then and ate just scratching about making up silly excuses, sometime you have to admit your mistakes to be a man

Unclear, not wrong. If I'd said "That's a misquote of Kenny Rogers", it would have been clearer than saying, "That's a misquote of The Gambler".

I was wrong in another post when my mind leaped straight from a Beastie Boys song to the Twisted Sister song I always think of with it. In this one, I was just communicating badly.

 

[oftheherd1]

It's just not true that every fight is life or death. Even when you're being mugged, raped or assaulted. The goal of a very, very rare few crimes is homicide. So, sure. Avoiding a fight when you can is good sense. But saying you will only fight if it's kill or be killed is overly dramatic. Choosing to fight or not to fight is very contextual, and can be somewhere between frivolous and deadly.

Quite correct. Except at what point do you have enough information to know if you are in a situation of kill or be killed? If it is after you have begun to fight, it is probably harder to get out of the situation.

 

[Steve]

Quite correct. Except at what point do you have enough information to know if you are in a situation of kill or be killed? If it is after you have begun to fight, it is probably harder to get out of the situation.

Good point. Hopefully before you eye gouge the guy or curb stomp his head.

 

[oftheherd1]

Good point. Hopefully before you eye gouge the guy or curb stomp his head.

Quite true, and I think that was Bill's original intent, that it is often better to just get away than have a consequence of maiming or killing an opponent (or being maimed or killed).

BTW, I seem to be noticing a trend (this is anecdotal, as I haven't taken time to look up any statistics) where robberies more often turn to attempted or actual murder. It used to be that victims were told to simply give up valuables and let the miscreant get away. Now it seems to happen more that victims are shot or stabbed. Have you noticed any such thing in your part of the country?

 

[Steve]

Quite true, and I think that was Bill's original intent, that it is often better to just get away than have a consequence of maiming or killing an opponent (or being maimed or killed).

BTW, I seem to be noticing a trend (this is anecdotal, as I haven't taken time to look up any statistics) where robberies more often turn to attempted or actual murder. It used to be that victims were told to simply give up valuables and let the miscreant get away. Now it seems to happen more that victims are shot or stabbed. Have you noticed any such thing in your part of the country?

Not enough information. Homicide is exceedingly rare, even in the most dangerous areas. Homicide tends to be crime of passion, gang related, drug related, or just bad luck (I.e. wrong place, wrong time.)

Used to be, more people were being killed, but it's hard to see that if you don't look at the statistics. Of course, there are areas that at anomalous.

 

[drop bear]

That has never been an issue with defense, though. And there's always a risk of someone getting hurt, if you train with any intensity.

So you haven't had to deal with psychological barriers going from threat to action?

I have it can be a pretty big deal. Springs out on you as well. Sometimes for no good reason.

It is something worthwile being aware of if you are mentally preparing people for those sorts of engagements. And something the tough guys will rarely talk about.

You have said you actively avoid intence engagements. Not just don't like them. You don't do them.

 

[drop bear]

Quite correct. Except at what point do you have enough information to know if you are in a situation of kill or be killed? If it is after you have begun to fight, it is probably harder to get out of the situation.

Goes back to this fear of risk. You can't deal with the concept where there is risk involved. You are focused on the worst case scenario. And I dont think it helps make rational decisions.

You either over cook the situation of let it progress too far with inaction.

Or let it progress to far then overcook it.

 

[drop bear]

Trying to find information on successful risk taking. Which is the crux of this thread.

Found an opinion piece here. No real studies. But as opinion goes it does seem to gel with what I would consider good risk taking skills.

Take A Risk: The Odds Are Better Than You Think

 

[Gerry Seymour]

So you haven't had to deal with psychological barriers going from threat to action?

I have it can be a pretty big deal. Springs out on you as well. Sometimes for no good reason.

It is something worthwile being aware of if you are mentally preparing people for those sorts of engagements. And something the tough guys will rarely talk about.

You have said you actively avoid intence engagements. Not just don't like them. You don't do them.

Agreed.

 

[drop bear]

Agreed.

By the way. Have a look at that article on risk. It comes up with some good points.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

By the way. Have a look at that article on risk. It comes up with some good points.

I'm familiar with that author's work. Of the 4 points, the 4th is the one that most applies to me. I definitely tend to underestimate the risk of inaction - this bites me in business on a regular basis. I tend to swing in the other direction on the first two - being overly optimistic about risk. That's actually part of my personality profile, and probably hard-wired, so something I've had to learn to counter with conscious consideration.

 

[drop bear]

I'm familiar with that author's work. Of the 4 points, the 4th is the one that most applies to me. I definitely tend to underestimate the risk of inaction - this bites me in business on a regular basis. I tend to swing in the other direction on the first two - being overly optimistic about risk. That's actually part of my personality profile, and probably hard-wired, so something I've had to learn to counter with conscious consideration.

I don't think it is uncommon. It is especially applicable in bouncing. Especially wanting to wait rather than act.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

I don't think it is uncommon. It is especially applicable in bouncing. Especially wanting to wait rather than act.

I can see that. I assume that experience tempers that reluctance, eventually (if they last)? I've been on both sides of that (not bouncing, obviously, but analogous situations), and I'm likely to wait a bit longer than I should, which makes a physical solution more difficult.