What I am is a warrior, and sometimes in battle there is collateral damage. Am I proud of it? No. Would I change anything? No. My decisions have made me the man I am.
My heart longs for the glory of battle and the adulation of the crowd. Though I know I will never set foot on the sands of the gladitorial arena, I make do with the beer-stained floor of the bar. A floor where I know my life will end one day, my spilling across the tile as I experience the warrior's death and await my entrance to Valhalla.
Bollocks.
Over my two careers I have known many people who were real warriors, not one of them waffled as much as you do, you aren't a warrior you are a Walt.
If you think battle is glorious then you are very much mistaken and you clearly have no idea what it entails. As a 'bouncer' (if) you are a liability to your fellow bouncers, someone who should never be allowed to work on the door. I know a good many door supervisors, male and female and they'd laugh you straight out of the door.
You are either someone who is romanticising your life because you consider your real life boring or you are trolling. Either way you are laughable.