I actually agree with your assessment on this topic for the most part. Ultimately though it's up to the instructor.
Most of my previous instructors deal with regulation rules in tournaments. I understand they are in place to keep competitors safe. But that doesn't help in the streets.
It wasn't until I found Krav Maga that I learned one simple rule, "there are no rules when it comes to self defense. " that being said my focus, as an instructor is to teach my students, is to do what it takes. So ultimately it is up to the instructor to get their head s around that.
After all we practice martial arts, a militaristic art.
I have however seen Krav Maga which was basically useless, the instructor having taken an expensive one day course and come away with an 'instructor's diploma'.
In every style there's dross and there's good, stating that only one style is good and teaches self defence correctly is actually wrong. The trick is find a place that does what suits you, for whatever reason you want to train. Not everyone wants to learn to 'kill with one blow' so there's places to accommodate them, there are the ultra macho places that train in combats and are 'ex special forces', there's places for sport, there's places for very food self defence as well as some really pants self defence.
Just because people don't do what you like doing doesn't make them bad, it doesn't make your training to superior to theirs because they don't do what you do.