Dating

[MA-Caver]

Yes, the weapons all over my walls and through the house, has made some women think twice.

Well I theenk the idear is to talk about your love of MA and it's weaponry while you're out on the date ... before you bring her home eh?
At least it won't take her by surprise and creep her out that you might go skitzo on her and try to "demonstrate" them to(on) her.

 

[Sarah]

Bwaaahahaha....see thats were you are going wrong Rich!!

Well I theenk the idear is to talk about your love of MA and it's weaponry while you're out on the date ... before you bring her home eh?
At least it won't take her by surprise and creep her out that you might go skitzo on her and try to "demonstrate" them to(on) her.

 

[Mark Lynn]

A few thoughts

When I was in college I broke up with a girl friend and I vowed that my next girl friend would be 1) a christian and 2) a fellow martial artist. Well I ended up with both, I was teaching TKD for the intermurals department for the college I was attending and met my wife who was a student of mine. I was one of those instructors who dated a student Although I can't stress enough I don't believe in an instructor dating a student in a normal commercial school or whatever).

However the down side has been while my wife was a martial artist for several years after this, when jobs, houses (mortages), and kids came along she dropped out and I still haven't. This can lead to some difficulties. Which is why you must have alot more incommon than the martial arts, to keep the relationship together. We all know this I'm sure but I thought it worth mentioning none the less.

Instructors dating students: I don't agree with really, I know one instructor who dated a student(s) (he didn't prey on them, and I don't know if they were students of his first or not) but when they broke up it caused problems at the class he taught. In fact he passed on the instruction of the class to another instructor. Which was unfair to his other students I believe. And just dropped out of sight for a while, so it made it uncomfortable for everyone at the class and at the dojo. I know of two other instructors who went after their younger students (one male and one female instructor), both went to trail and it was very painful for eveyone involved.

On the plus side I know a couple where the wife and husband both run a very successful martial arts school. They as a team get to do what a lot of us who are serious martial artists (and who work other primary jobs) would like to do.

Just some ramblings
Mark

 

[KenpoNoChikara]

That's great if a couple can run a school together. instructors going after students...coulden't be any more wrong, it just messes up everything.

 

[Sin]

i've dated a couple of classmates, and it goes well until the breakup. In my opinion,it's better to date people from other schools.

I agree

dating someone in your own school is ok only up until the brake up. Cause you share a commen intrest and you get to become friends. You even get to beat each other up. when brake up happens its all just one big drama filled scene. Dating people in MA is a Good thing for all martial artists, but if its at the same school its really risky

 

[sasquatchnaruto]

Im not to sure on teh whole dating thing for martial artists but i do think dating outside of your school with others is ok

 

[Mark Lynn]

Just out of curiosity have any of you that have dated someone in your dojo run into any conflict during class?

Mark

 

[OULobo]

Just out of curiosity have any of you that have dated someone in your dojo run into any conflict during class?

Mark

I popped her in the lip once during class by accident. She's one of the class sweethearts, but I'm her fiance' so the people in the class didn't know what to think. Other than that the only conflict has been because I advanced a little bit quicker.

 

[Hwoarang_tkd26]

I understand the fact that dating someone in MA can be good, and bad too.
I think it's great for the fact that you both share similar interests, but let me share with you all my expereance.
There is a black belt (1st dan) in my class that I took an eye to in the past, and she seemed to take an eye to me as well. So I decided that what more of a better way to get to know her so that we could consider dating, was to ask her to Junior Prom (sense it was coming up soon at that time anyways).
She said yes, and the date went IMO great, we then started going on more dates. Then we decided to go steady, and things were going "flawless" between the two of us (I have never felt feelings this intense for someone before).
Then all the sudden S*** hit the fan, we broke up about a month ago, and someone got severaly hurt (me).
I told her that she shouldn't let me get in the way of her training, and that she shouldn't just stop going cause of me, I also told her that I wont even talk to her at all if thats what it takes for her to stay.
So she stayed, but everytime I go to class and she is there, or everytime I see her, deep down inside of me "I am miserable".
For those of you who read this, this is a senerio to consider thinking about.
Do I dissaprove of dating people in the same Dojo? No, but I strongly suggest that you be very carefull.

- Hwoarang_tkd26

 

[Mark Lynn]

I popped her in the lip once during class by accident. She's one of the class sweethearts, but I'm her fiance' so the people in the class didn't know what to think. Other than that the only conflict has been because I advanced a little bit quicker.

Once while sparring my wife at my instructor's dojo, I hit her in the face (pretty good shot too). My instructor then gets me on the matt and nails me (not to hard but harder than I hit my wife), turns and smiles at my wife and tells her "Payback!". Funny thing was I forogot all about this incident, till I saw it immortalized on the TV screen as I was watching a home made VT labeled DOJO workouts.

Once while teaching my first class(es) at the college I went to, I had just started dating my wife (she was one of my students). And I was instructing the students on how to do "One Step Sparring" (Pre arranged striking with freestyle follow ups). MY wife (girl friend) just wasn't getting the notion of moving faster but with control. Well she starts getting miffed and myself included a little, cause I figured she just wasn't listening and trying to understand. All of the while we are trying to keep proper dojo etiquette (you know). Didn't want my other students think we were having a spat you know.

Anyway she gets it into her head that she's gonna show me how to do it fast and with power (but with lack of control) (Like I should have seen this coming) and as I punched she did a double arm block on the outside of my arm, and I learned a vaulable lesson in arm destruction/pressure points.

WHAM! My arm was numb for several minutes as I couldn't use it. What could I do but call out "BREAK! OK everyone get some water" while I tried to regain the use of my arm.

Oh the happy memories.
Mark

 

[CMack11]

I'm of the opinion that in can be a good thing or a bad thing. My fiancee isn't into MA that much, but really supports me doing it. Just like I'm not really into tennis, but I really support her playing a lot (she's in a league and pretty good). We've each made a step in the direction of the other person's hobby. I play tennis with her every now and then, and she is going to take a Tai Chi class with me that my sifu teaches. That way she gets to meet sifu and see (at least partially) what my classes are all about.

 

[loki09789]

Do you think it is a good idea for Martial Artists to date other Martial Artist? Why? I have seen lots of relationships come and go between MA's and was wondering the pro's and con's people see ?

Same basic pros/cons of dating from your gym, school, college, work.... if it works - great. Seeing the person all that time outside of 'dates' might take some getting use to and cause some funny feeling moments if you are fighting or something.

If you break up, dealing with the fact that you will see each other regularly can cause some problems that are no fun (watching them start dating or get picked up by the new boy/girlfriend....).

General rule of thumb (when the issue is consenting 'mature/adult' type students) is don't date on the floor. If you want to date someone keep it off the floor - that is work time.

If martial arts is a central element of your life, dating a fellow martial artist can be a bonding experience (as long as the philosophical/stylistic differences don't create more friction).

 

[karatekid1975]

Just out of curiosity have any of you that have dated someone in your dojo run into any conflict during class?

Mark

No, not for us. I kicked him in the butt once during sparring (something I only do at home LOL), and we busted out laughing and couldn't stop. But other than that, no problems here. He is actually a really good training partner. We have no problem "hitting" each other (as in sparring or training), so it's not a problem. We both take pretty good shots from other students as well as from each other (we spar full contact at higher ranks at my dojang), so it's really no different than another fellow student hitting me during a match.

The issue with rank came up somewhere in here. He is a higher rank, but I have more years training. But we don't really care about that stuff. We just train hard.

We are also basically husband and wife, just not legally (yet). So at home, we do normal house stuff, cook together, ect. We share alot of hobbies together, not just MA.

I don't know how it is if you and the other person aren't living with each other, though. We always been together through MA.

 

[Aaron Little]

It has worked out well for Rikki and I.

 

[Kunoichi]

I had a bit of conflict after dating someone in the dojo.

We had kept our relationship pretty quiet in the dojo so it wouldn't interupt our training. Then 1 day his wife decided to meet him after training!!! I naturally flipped out (but apparently he and his wife had been going through a rough patch) so he hasn't been to training the last few weeks since he is sorting out his divorce. Scum-bag!

 

[Sarah]

Guess that comes with dating a married man, whether a MA'ist or not!

I had a bit of conflict after dating someone in the dojo.

We had kept our relationship pretty quiet in the dojo so it wouldn't interupt our training. Then 1 day his wife decided to meet him after training!!! I naturally flipped out (but apparently he and his wife had been going through a rough patch) so he hasn't been to training the last few weeks since he is sorting out his divorce. Scum-bag!

 

[Patrick Skerry]

Dating another martial artist is a good idea, but just not out of the same dojo.

 

[Phoenix44]

I think it would be cool dating another MA'ist, someone who would be into having weapons hanging all over the wall

That is EXACTLY what we have hanging all over our living room. My partner, our kids, and I are all martial artists. I couldn't imagine being with a non-practitioner, because it's such a big part of how we define ourselves.

Yes I think it's a good idea to date other MAists. You do understand each others' passion, and you can train together and teach each other.

If you are not dating a martial artist, then I think another really good option is to date someone who is passionate about SOMETHING...music, bicycling, chess, opera, whatever. S/he will, hopefully, support your dedication to the art, and vice versa.

My ex-husband wasn't passionate about anything, so he regarded my training as something which detracted from the relationship. Emphasis on "ex"

 

[Aaron Little]

Is it possible that two martial artist, actively training in different arts, could get along well enough to date. One would always be trying to convince the other that their art was better. In my hometown I cannot imagine two people from separate TKD schools hooking up much less two unrelated styles. For goodness sakes, two people from different styles have enough trouble getting along on an Internet forum and that does not involve romance. At least I hope.



Of course there are always exceptions.

 

[bignick]

i don't see how that would make a difference....no different than a democrat dating a republican or someone that eats meat dating a vegitarian...nobody has the exact same views on anything...which is one of the good parts about a relationships having someone to discuss things with...if you agree all the time...conversations can get pretty boring...as long as both parties are mature about it...i see absolutely no problem with two people from the same school, different schools, different styles, etc., dating...