corny joke time

A couple on an African Safari witnessed a small antelope being chased down by a cheetah.
While the kill was about to happen before their eyes, the husband casually remarked, “I’ll bet the antelope gets away.”
The wife answered, “If that antelope survives this one, I’ll give you sex every day for the rest of your life.”
The deadly chase was recorded.
Click here.....
 
Marriage is like a grenade
Take off the ring and, boom! The house is gone
 
donald1 said:
Marriage is like a grenade
Take off the ring and, boom! The house is gone
Click to expand...
Nope.

Marriage is like a three ring circus.

First comes the engagement ring........

then comes the wedding ring...............

then comes the suffering!
rolling.gif
 
Packing boxes to move, I found this old pic. Figured I'd post it here. It's Ed Parker and my old coach, Chuck Merriman. I forget the two guys in the middle.

I had just told them a couple of politically incorrect, corny Martial Arts jokes. My wife snapped the pic.

2w6uzhi.jpg
 
Yes, I know this is wrong, but what can I say? I watch every kind of fight ever presented. To me, it's kind of like porn for a fight fan.

And make sure you watch long enough for the single leg takedown. It actually speaks volumes.

Apologies in advance.

Fat Guys Can't Fight For Long
 
In case you missed it...

 
We had these in ninth grade. But we were in the ninth grade.
Nothing like a good dope slap, though.

 
This guy tried to kill a cockroach with Axe Body Spray. Now he goes by "Brandon" and won't shut up about Cross Fit.
 
Didn't know where to put this, certainly not here. But this guy is just awesome, wanted to share it.
Talk about a relaxed sense of balance.

 
This kid gets it. Run from the gals. Good defense, too. And so cute.

 
I can swallow a rope and it comes out from the other end tied...........I sh!t you knot.
 
donald1 said:
Definitions:
Dan: Someone that black belt level
Darn: The sound uttered by the black belt realizes the instructor will now strike harder and more often
Damn: The sound uttered by the black belt's partner, it's his turn now!

Best 5 inventions in probably the world...
5. ABC gum, takes the boring part out of the equation and if you're lucky there might be some flavor left
4. Nailed boards, they already have nails thus the hard work is already done
3. Water-proof towel, now you never have a wet towel
2. Peddle powered wheel chair, it's definitely better than your average wheel chair...
1. windows for a submarine, now everyone can look outside and if you want you can even touch the fish (just open it)
Click to expand...
I have another invention!

The Ejection seat for a Helicopter!!
 
I know it's not technically corny, but it is funny in my opinion. It's why kids shouldn't mess with grown men. We used to call it "rag dolling." Out here they call it "Whap, splat, li'dat"
By either name it's beautiful.

Barstool Sports
 
I told my office mate about a band I was listening to, but their name is really hard to pronounce. I tried my best "ackdk."
He asked me to spell it. "A C - D C."

He kicked me out of the office.
 
An old man walking down the street sees a little boy about 5 years old sitting on the curb. The little boy is surrounded by empty candy wrappers and has a handful of chocolate that he's enjoying.
The old man says "little boy, you know that eating all that candy isn't good for you?"

The little boy looks up at the old man, face covered in chocolate and responds, " my pawpaw lived to be 93 years old".

The man said " oh, did he eat a lot of candy?"

The little boy said " no, he minded his own f^%&*# business"
 
The other day, I hit one of my students because he wasn't listening.

I said "duck."

(it was a foam blocker, don't worry)
 
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A warning to deer hunters everywhere.

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limerick time :)

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