corny joke time
- Thread starter yak sao
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donald1
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[video=youtube_share;yC4B8fNzuQI]http://youtu.be/yC4B8fNzuQI[/video]
Zero
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A blind man goes into a ladies bar, sits at the bar and turns to the woman next to him and says, "You want to hear a blonde joke?"
The woman replies, "As you are blind I feel it only fair to warn you, I'm blonde and a karate champion, my two friends are blonde and judo champions and the barmaid is blonde. Now do you really want to tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a moment ... "No, I don't want to have to explain it four times."
The woman replies, "As you are blind I feel it only fair to warn you, I'm blonde and a karate champion, my two friends are blonde and judo champions and the barmaid is blonde. Now do you really want to tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a moment ... "No, I don't want to have to explain it four times."
donald1
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the only drinking game i participate in is the pacman one. you drink everything in sight as fast as you can before anyone catches you
love may be blind but marriage is definatly an eye opener
you know what would be funny... imagine what a pack of pugs would look like in tge wild
love may be blind but marriage is definatly an eye opener
you know what would be funny... imagine what a pack of pugs would look like in tge wild
Last edited:
Zero
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Those things can be dangerous in packsyou know what would be funny... imagine what a pack of pugs would look like in tge wild
Elbowgrease
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pugnacious...
- Thread Starter
- #173
as small as they are you think they'd at least come in a 6 pack
donald1
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they dont need to one will go low another will go high and the other will get you when your down
and you never know if there are more... just hiding... waiting till you drop your guard
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that tree a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I've poked in a long time."
The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.
The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I've poked in a long time."
On the bus Paddy got chatting to Murphy who was carrying a bag on his back.
'What's in the bag?' asked Paddy. 'I'm not going to tell', replied Murphy.
'Go on, do.' pleaded Paddy. 'Ah, all right then, it's ducks', announced Murphy.
'If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will you give me one of them?' enquired Paddy. 'Look', said Murphy, 'If you guess the correct number, I'll give you both of them.'
'Five!' said Paddy triumphantly.
'What's in the bag?' asked Paddy. 'I'm not going to tell', replied Murphy.
'Go on, do.' pleaded Paddy. 'Ah, all right then, it's ducks', announced Murphy.
'If I guess how many ducks you have in the bag, will you give me one of them?' enquired Paddy. 'Look', said Murphy, 'If you guess the correct number, I'll give you both of them.'
'Five!' said Paddy triumphantly.
- Thread Starter
- #177
Paddy and Murphy had been at the pub all night drinking pretty hard.
The guys were both hungry, but neither had any money left.
Paddy said "Let's go catch a fish", to which Murphy replied, "but we ain't got a pole or bait".
Paddy said " we don't need 'em...I know of a bridge close to here that goes across the creek and the fish are so thick in there you can just reach right over the rail and grab one!"
Murphy thought that was a great idea so the two staggered out the door and down the road in search of the bridge.
"This is it" Paddy proclaimed..."here's the bridge, just reach over the rail and grab a fish"
Murphy bent over the rail..." I can't reach the water...grab me ankles and lower me down"
So Paddy grabbed Murphy's ankles and lowered him down.
"You gotta fish yet??? Paddy yelled out.
"Not yet " came the reply from down below.
This went on for a while until finally Murphy screamed out" LET ME UP, LET ME UP!!!"
Paddy was excited...." you gotta fish????"
Murphy screamed..." NO A TRAIN"S COMIN"
The guys were both hungry, but neither had any money left.
Paddy said "Let's go catch a fish", to which Murphy replied, "but we ain't got a pole or bait".
Paddy said " we don't need 'em...I know of a bridge close to here that goes across the creek and the fish are so thick in there you can just reach right over the rail and grab one!"
Murphy thought that was a great idea so the two staggered out the door and down the road in search of the bridge.
"This is it" Paddy proclaimed..."here's the bridge, just reach over the rail and grab a fish"
Murphy bent over the rail..." I can't reach the water...grab me ankles and lower me down"
So Paddy grabbed Murphy's ankles and lowered him down.
"You gotta fish yet??? Paddy yelled out.
"Not yet " came the reply from down below.
This went on for a while until finally Murphy screamed out" LET ME UP, LET ME UP!!!"
Paddy was excited...." you gotta fish????"
Murphy screamed..." NO A TRAIN"S COMIN"
donald1
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what nationality is santa?
north polish
what do you call a troublemaker who dosnt beleive in santa
a rebel without claus
why is santa always jolly?
cause he knows where all the naughty ladys live
four stages if christmas
1. believe in santa
2. dont believe in santa
3. dress like santa
4. look like santa
north polish
what do you call a troublemaker who dosnt beleive in santa
a rebel without claus
why is santa always jolly?
cause he knows where all the naughty ladys live
four stages if christmas
1. believe in santa
2. dont believe in santa
3. dress like santa
4. look like santa
Elbowgrease
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How to wash a cat:
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises coming from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can. Quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and out the front door where it will dry itself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely yours,
The dog.
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises coming from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash" and "rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can. Quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the house and out the front door where it will dry itself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely yours,
The dog.
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