Confidence in Martial Arts Abilities!

[Tony]

I was wondering if anyone lacks confidence in their skills as Martial Artists when it comes to potential threats! I know that I try to avoid areas where violent confrontations are common or where it is a probable! I void certain pubs in my home town because of their reputations, although my friends go there on a friday or saturday night!
Even though I have been learning Kung fu for 5 years but the thought of getting into a fight does somewhat scare me! I know that because I practice a Martial art I ought to be more confident ( well thats what one of my friends says) but I will avoid it at all costs! And although I feel ashamed I think I would also have no courage at all if one of my relatives or friends were being attacked!
I don't enter tournaments and we haven't done a lot of sparring! but I enjoy the training! Unfortunately My instructor only runs 2 classes a week! I wish it could be more but the other classes he had to suspend due to lack of interest!
Well all your thoughts would be appreciated!

 

[Black Bear]

Well then I guess the training you're getting at that studio isn't doing very well at preparing you for street violence. If that's important to you, then consider training elsewhere. I have some of my personal views on that in the thread "What martial art to train in" under General Martial Arts Discussions. Other people have posted their views there as well.

Do continue to do something the same way over and over, and expect to get a different result, is insanity.

The second issue is wanting to avoid violence, staying away from places where you are at a high risk, etc. Most every reasonable person does that. Beating someone down can be a big hassle. You could get knifed. You could get legal hassles. And hey, if you beat the tar out of someone, and walk away unaffected... what have you gained?

The first law of self-defense goes, "Violence hurts. Even if you walk away without being hit, you will have bruised knuckles." Literalists will say that that is why you should strike with an open hand. Really, the point is, no one ought to WANT to fight. Not to be in a REAL fight, anyway.

The second law of self-defense is, "It is better to win than to lose."

 

[loki09789]

Break down your training into some basic, self defense type of responses - whether they are originally part of the art or not. Sometimes, it is just a matter of reviewing the white belt/beginner level of material. Find someone who you trust and have them throw a simulated attack that you are training to respond to. I HIGHLY recommend that you do this with NO protective gear of any kind. Just have the training partner start slowly as they feed you the attack. Respond with your technique as if it were it were a slow motion movie at first. As you get more comfortable, or as your training partner sees that you are getting better, increase the speed and power in small increments.

If you want to take it to the next level, where you could/should really get tagged, have the training partner throw on boxing gloves and body armor/head gear/mouth piece (anything lighter won't disperse the energy enough, so don't use 'sparring gear' designed for sport or point sparring) Put a mouth piece in and prepare to take some shots. You will get nailed, if your training partner is making an honest effort to help you prepare for reality. You will feel some pain, but you will also respond in spite of it, you will also develop some confidence in YOURSELF and your training. Maybe it isn't the training that you are doubting, but your ability to make it happen. That can only happen by training as close to reality as you can - short of seeking real fights, which is totally the opposite of self defense principles.

Also, try the opposite of this 'drill training' by having your padded partner just standing around talking with you and suddenly he jumps you with a predetermined attack (headlock, punch...) and your ONLY objective is to get away. This way you can develop spontaneous responses and don't get bogged down by 'what you did wrong.'

You will find that faster than you realize you are near full speed/power on both sides. You will also be developing the automatic neural responses so you respond so fast that there is no time to feel the fear when it goes down.

Your desire to avoid violent/risky situations is HEALTHY, and speaks to your respect for life. It is not a liability, because you have probably avoided more fights/self defense situations naturally. I would call that economy of motion, which is a standard concept of martial arts.

I don't mean to be mean, but it is not the instructor's responsibility to make you confident in your skill, you are responsible for your training and if two days a week and the format isn't feeling like enough, seek/make it happen on your own or at another program. You are your own first line of defense. Don't make it someone elses job to 'train' you. What and how hard you train is entirely your choice.


Paul M.

Paul M

 

[Gary Crawford]

What Black bear said is right on the money,but it may not be possible for you to train somewhere else for whatever reason.The first possible reason that comes to mind is you have five years invested in what you are doing and maybe there is not another school in your area that teaches the same style.If that is the case,then walking away is tough to do.You said you don't enter tournaments.Why? Is it the same fear?I suggest you start doing that.Sparring against as many different opponents as possible will help your confidense as well as teach you your own art faster than anything else will.Also,visit some schools of other styles to find one that you have a decent understanding with the instructor and the students so they may let you sparr with them.I guess my point is sparring against as much variety as possible will make you a better fighter.

 

[7starmantis]

I was wondering if anyone lacks confidence in their skills as Martial Artists when it comes to potential threats! I know that I try to avoid areas where violent confrontations are common or where it is a probable! I void certain pubs in my home town because of their reputations, although my friends go there on a friday or saturday night!
Even though I have been learning Kung fu for 5 years but the thought of getting into a fight does somewhat scare me! I know that because I practice a Martial art I ought to be more confident ( well thats what one of my friends says) but I will avoid it at all costs! And although I feel ashamed I think I would also have no courage at all if one of my relatives or friends were being attacked!
I don't enter tournaments and we haven't done a lot of sparring! but I enjoy the training! Unfortunately My instructor only runs 2 classes a week! I wish it could be more but the other classes he had to suspend due to lack of interest!
Well all your thoughts would be appreciated!

Feelings like this about getting into a fight are very normal. Everyone has them, anyone who tells you differently is either lying or insane. To go out of your way to avoid situations that may lead to fighting is actually a smart move. It sounds like you may be taking it a bit far, but its never stupid to stay away from situations that may lead to fighting. Practicing any martial art is not neccesarily going to make you feel like fighting, in fact it will make you understand even more what can happen during a fight, making you avoid them even more. In an art like kung fu it takes a very long time to be proficient in fighting. Thats a reasonable fear to have. If your training is absolutely not giving you any confidence in fighting, you may want to look for another instructor. I think if something happened to your family or friends you would have more courage than you think you would.

My advice would be to enter some tournements in sparring or fighting events. To get in and do some is the only cure for not knowing. I think your fear probably stems from a sense of not knowing what its like and what or if you could do to handle yourself. Not so much of a lack of courage, more than likely. Train hard, get some sparring or fighting experience, you will see your confidence increase.

7sm

 

[MJS]

Well then I guess the training you're getting at that studio isn't doing very well at preparing you for street violence. If that's important to you, then consider training elsewhere. I have some of my personal views on that in the thread "What martial art to train in" under General Martial Arts Discussions. Other people have posted their views there as well.

Do continue to do something the same way over and over, and expect to get a different result, is insanity.

The second issue is wanting to avoid violence, staying away from places where you are at a high risk, etc. Most every reasonable person does that. Beating someone down can be a big hassle. You could get knifed. You could get legal hassles. And hey, if you beat the tar out of someone, and walk away unaffected... what have you gained?

The first law of self-defense goes, "Violence hurts. Even if you walk away without being hit, you will have bruised knuckles." Literalists will say that that is why you should strike with an open hand. Really, the point is, no one ought to WANT to fight. Not to be in a REAL fight, anyway.

The second law of self-defense is, "It is better to win than to lose."

Great post

 

[the_kicking_fiend]

A lot of people will tell you that they never get scared and have fought off dozens of men no problem, never doubting their ability. Truth is we all doubt sometimes and that sometimes approaches us when we need it most. As a martial artist, it is not just your body that is trained though, your mind is too and you must overcome any doubt and fear in that one moment.

'Do it trembling if you must, but do it!'

d

 

[Tony]

Well then I guess the training you're getting at that studio isn't doing very well at preparing you for street violence. If that's important to you, then consider training elsewhere. I have some of my personal views on that in the thread "What martial art to train in" under General Martial Arts Discussions. Other people have posted their views there as well.

Do continue to do something the same way over and over, and expect to get a different result, is insanity.

The second issue is wanting to avoid violence, staying away from places where you are at a high risk, etc. Most every reasonable person does that. Beating someone down can be a big hassle. You could get knifed. You could get legal hassles. And hey, if you beat the tar out of someone, and walk away unaffected... what have you gained?

The first law of self-defense goes, "Violence hurts. Even if you walk away without being hit, you will have bruised knuckles." Literalists will say that that is why you should strike with an open hand. Really, the point is, no one ought to WANT to fight. Not to be in a REAL fight, anyway.

The second law of self-defense is, "It is better to win than to lose."

Thanks for your words of wisdom! But the thing is I really enjoy learning Kung Fu! Its interesting because I over came a large milestone to actually beginning training in A Martial Art. I was always too shy and intimidated to enter any class! But somehow I found the courage to start with my current style! I think I owe it to myself to last the course on this!
And another thing is I think I am scared of entering tournaments although interestingly I have sparred with other people in Kung fu and I have sustained injuries but I just kept on sparring!
Occasionally my instructor will make me take the class for the warmup and its interesting how great it can feel to get everyone doing what I want them to do but its not easy trying to think on the spot! so I guess thats another great aspect to my training!
So I guess the only way I will know if what I have learned works is to wait to be attacked!

 

[7starmantis]

So I guess the only way I will know if what I have learned works is to wait to be attacked!

That doesn't have to be, you can train for it and learn about yourself, and how you will act before your actually attacked.

7sm

 

[Black Bear]

But the thing is I really enjoy learning Kung Fu! Its interesting because I over came a large milestone to actually beginning training in A Martial Art. I was always too shy and intimidated to enter any class! But somehow I found the courage to start with my current style! I think I owe it to myself to last the course on this!

That's really up to you. The beautiful thing about life is that everyone is given the same number of hours in a day. You can choose to put them to any use you wish. If your real reason for learning MA is to learn to deal with violence, then don't kid yourself, and don't cheat yourself. If it's for fun, then act accordingly. You can only be accountable to yourself on this. It is hard to leave a school but sometimes it is a wise thing to do. You have to figure out how much time you will put to one thing or another. Will you train long-term at this place? Will you take something else up at the same time? Will you switch over? Will you try out something short-term someplace else just to fill in the gaps? I personally don't care what you do, because I don't know you. But make the right choice.

And another thing is I think I am scared of entering tournaments although interestingly I have sparred with other people in Kung fu and I have sustained injuries but I just kept on sparring!

Good for you Tony. Being able to move forward through pain is an important element of sd training. But do train safely! Some kinds of owies are not worth it, and are better prevented (e.g. mouthguard).

So I guess the only way I will know if what I have learned works is to wait to be attacked!

It doesn't have to be. Preparing yourself for violence is like preparing your family for a house fire. You don't have to set your house on fire to do it. There are many good sd instructors who can give you guidance in "simulation" or "scenario-based training". Unlike sparring, where both "players" are really trying to do the same thing, this kind of training is "asymmetrical". One person role-plays an attacker. The idea is to simulate a real-world assault as realistically as possible, but in a safe, scientific manner. Verbal assault or "woofing", replica weapons, and real street energy is used (shoving, sucker-punches, etc.) The environment is manipulated to give a more well-rounded simulation and to increase the adrenaline pump (lights, music, obstacles, etc.) Sometimes the simulation involves using impact reduction gear such as High Gear or FIST suits. This gives you a better idea of what you really can and can't do in a real assault. You will learn the importance of distancing, body language, verbal defusion, gross-motor movements, groundfighting. You will find out what you can and can't do against a knife, gun, club, etc. when a guy is REALLY trying to hit you with it.

Participants have a clear idea of what their goal is when they set up the simulation. For instance, they might say, "I wonder if I can handle myself after getting attacked with pepper spray". One will get in touch with some police tactical trainers, find out what to expect from being sprayed, how to select a spray for the scenario, how to safely decontaminate, etc. The scenario will involve really spraying the trainee with pepper spray, and requiring him/her to then carry out self-defense-like tasks (e.g. breaking out of a hold, dropping the attacker, running to a designated "safe" location, and dialing for help). This can be done safely because
- you have had adequate preparation
- you are working with people you trust well
- the perimeter is secure: you're doing it in a closed location
- you're probably wearing impact reduction gear

Many traditional martial artists go for years without ever trying this. It is interesting to note that at least one modern "synthetic" system has been created entirely through experiments in simulations. It is called Tactical Confrontation Management Systems and was developed by Tony Blauer (tonyblauer.com). There are probably others, too. He has put a lot of what he learned into tapes and manuals which he sells on his website.

Facilities that offer this kind of training can do a lot in a short period of time to help you prepare for a violent attack. You might want to consider finding a coach who can help you to get this kind of experience.

 

[loki09789]

"So I guess the only way I will know if what I have learned works is to wait to be attacked!"

Careful with this view Tony, it puts you in the victim seat and takes away any sense of control or preparation on your part.

The original idea was that you lacked confidence in your art, but you have clarified that the big milestone is your personal insecurities... and how your personal challenge of starting kung fu helped you break out of that a bit. GREAT, that is one of those 'intangibles' that martial training will help develop.

But, waiting until you are attacked will not help instill confidence in your training. You can be reasonably confident if you have trained as realistically as you can within your art FOR THE FIGHT YOU EXPECT TO FACE. If you are expecting/preparing yourself for self defense, see my above post. Include some sparring if you like it - some limited self defense benefits, but don't rely on it exclusively. Take a community policing course or read some tactical info on the internet, BLAUER comes to mind. You can be reasonably confident if you have sparred/tested your art in sanctioned arenas of sport and competition. These types of training experiences can be strong indicators of how well you might handle a 'fight' in a self defense situation.

BUT, unless he have been in a fight/self defense situation and really applied that knowledge when it is all on the line, no one KNOWS that he will be 'prepared' for a self defense situation. We can all have confidence in our training/system and our ability, verging on faith, but to know that, individually, we can do it required direct experience.

I am not suggesting getting into fights, but only that there is a difference between confidence and knowing.

Paul M.

 

[markulous]

Careful with this view Tony, it puts you in the victim seat and takes away any sense of control or preparation on your part.

I agree. You don't want to just wait for the guy to attack. Just because you throw the first blow doesn't mean you started anything. Realize that fighting is something that happens. Believe me there probably isn't one guy here who was/is scared when they fight. It's just the fact that you can make that fear work for you instead of against you.

And I wouldn't let fighting rule you from going to certain places. If you really didn't want to go there in the first place, ok that is one thing. But if you really want to go to that pub, I say go for it. Heck even if you don't want to go I say go for it. It will teach you how to deal with situations. But that's just me. I am probably wrong for having that voice of a tiger in that back of my mind saying it want's to fight. But again, that's just me. :supcool:

 

[elcajon555]

The number one defense is to have no enemies. So by avoiding situations where that rule can come into conflict is a the smart thing to do. It is better to avoid something like a fight from happening. Also I would contend that sparring does not make you a good fighter because sparring with rules and street fighting is two different things with different emotions and motives. If you want to be good at fighting you need to fight. Or at the very least have simualtions of actual fights. I have wonder about this myself I have been training for over 6 years and I wonder how I would do in a fight. And after training for so long I am sure I have some instinct by this point, as do you. And if you or your friends and family are in danger I am sure you will have more then enough courage when it comes down between you or them. When you get into a fight you also have to accept the fact that injury will occur so that when it does happen you are not thrown off your guard. If someone attacks with a knife you will get stabbed, if they attack you with a bat you will get hit, you just need to reduce the possible damaga. And even before you are attacked you need to be ready to get hit, stabbed, etc. If the mind is ready the body will also be.

 

[Tony]

Something else I would like to mention is that when I have successfully managed to talk my way out of physical confrontations, I still feel like a coward for not accepting the challenge. Some time a go I think it might have been a joke, I don't know, this guy a friend of my friend said to me "are you looking for trouble?" to which I replied "no I'm not". As soon as I said that he told me he was only joking and we started chatting! How weird is that? What the hell is wrong with this guy? I guess he thought I was an easy target like I always am despite the 5 years training in Kung Fu! The problem is I can't seem to handle the confrontation at the verbal stage. I try to avoid arguing with anyone and I always back down!
I would like to have thought that if this person had pushed the matter further I would have made sure he would know it was a bad idea and hurt him enough to not want to ever talk to me like that again!
Last night in Kung fu as always there is half an hour left over for sparring and that would mean staying til 9:30 and I made the excuse of sayin to my classmates that I had to get home for dinner! whatever! but I think to myself what good is half an hour, is it worth it? but maybe I should seriously think about doing it and maybe even entering tournaments which does fill me with some anxiety! Because my classes are only twice a week, not everything can be fit in in the time we have. The first class is 1h30 min and then another 30 min for sparring.The second class is only an hour. I think this because my instructor has to pay for the training hall he uses and as its a Leisure centre lots of other people use it too so I guess its always busy!
I would love it if my instructor could open another 2 or 3 classes so I could train 4 or 5 times a week! I still do as much as I can at home but its not the same as I need that guidance and motivation only an instructor can give me!
I have thought about training in another style but the problem is that i already have a lot to remember with what I am learning now, and not such a great idea with a grading coming up too! I know about 10 forms and having to learn different ones form another style would confuse me!

 

[bscastro]

Very interesting views! I'll throw in my two cents.

I think there should be a certain balance between confidence and fear. I've met too many martial artists who maybe did it for two or three years, got their black belt, then thought they were invincible. On the other hand, it doesn't help to be totally afraid of getting into an altercation with NO confidence in your skills because then it won't work. Of course, these feelings are developed through training.

A few years ago, I assessed my own training and how it was preparing me for self-defense. I found that my training was lacking, and so I talked to my instructor about it as well as started cross-training. Besides these things, I started changing my attitudes DURING training.

In any case, I don't think I can stave off EVERY possible attack, but I think my current training is giving me a better chance than in the past or if I had no training at all.

There's an interesting thought...does your current training do better than no training in helping you prepare for an attack? For example, if training causes you to rush unprepared into a fight, then perhaps no training (where you would just run) would have served you better. Or...if training makes you instinctively do a certain thing and closes you to other options when your "untrained" instinct would have you scratch and claw your way out of a situation in panic and terror...which would be better? On the other hand, if training allows you to have a clearer mind whilst clawing and scratching your way out and when finding an opening, delivering a knee to groin or some other appropriate technique, then it would clearly be serving you well. Of course, this is something each person must reflect on for themselves as I don't think it is a particular style but instead how one trains within that style that is important.

As a friend said in reference to someone in a particular art being beaten "it wasn't the art that failed him it was his training."

Cheers,
Bryan

 

[loki09789]

I would say yes that the 1/2 an hour of sparring would be helpful. First off, it isn't the single half hour session that I am saying is helpful, but the cumullative affect of regular sparring that will help you develop the sponteneity, creativity and grit that form and technical training alone will not.

Again, I don't think sparring should be the only self defense type training that you use, but from the sounds of it, it is the best you can do right now.

Plus, just like joining the class in the first place, committing to the sparring time will be a huge milestone in your personal development. It is really gutsy to throw out these insecurities on the internet. Based on that, I would say you have moral courage. Celebrate that courage and take it into a safe training environment where you can 'road test' yourself (more than your training) and find out some things about yourself. I think you will find more positive than negative discoveries, with the right outlook.

Go for it.

Paul M

 

[Tony]

I would say yes that the 1/2 an hour of sparring would be helpful. First off, it isn't the single half hour session that I am saying is helpful, but the cumullative affect of regular sparring that will help you develop the sponteneity, creativity and grit that form and technical training alone will not.

Again, I don't think sparring should be the only self defense type training that you use, but from the sounds of it, it is the best you can do right now.

Plus, just like joining the class in the first place, committing to the sparring time will be a huge milestone in your personal development. It is really gutsy to throw out these insecurities on the internet. Based on that, I would say you have moral courage. Celebrate that courage and take it into a safe training environment where you can 'road test' yourself (more than your training) and find out some things about yourself. I think you will find more positive than negative discoveries, with the right outlook.

Go for it.

Paul M

Hi Paul

Thanks for the word of encouragement! Thats made me feel a lot better about myself!

 

[tkdguy1982]

Honestly I really don't know much about confrontrations, because as a martial artist I don't try to shove my weight around. That & I don't live in the UK or anywhere close to where pubs are. But, if I was in a confrontration, I trust my training & my abilities to evade & conquer.

 

[Tony]

I would say yes that the 1/2 an hour of sparring would be helpful. First off, it isn't the single half hour session that I am saying is helpful, but the cumullative affect of regular sparring that will help you develop the sponteneity, creativity and grit that form and technical training alone will not.

Again, I don't think sparring should be the only self defense type training that you use, but from the sounds of it, it is the best you can do right now.

Plus, just like joining the class in the first place, committing to the sparring time will be a huge milestone in your personal development. It is really gutsy to throw out these insecurities on the internet. Based on that, I would say you have moral courage. Celebrate that courage and take it into a safe training environment where you can 'road test' yourself (more than your training) and find out some things about yourself. I think you will find more positive than negative discoveries, with the right outlook.

Go for it.

Paul M

Hi Paul

Well last night I stayed for the extra half hour of sparring! It was fun and i was doing some semi contact! And it felt good as I was getting used to being hit although I have some bad habits like turning my back when i shouldn't, but I thought I did quite well as I have some good techniques! I managed to evade some good techniques but I think I should do this more and next time I will stay again! I don't know if entering Tournaments are for me! I think the sparring at this point would help desensitise me to the fear of being hit and seeing what works and what doesn't!

 

[loki09789]

Tony,

Fantastic! A parallel story here:

I started skating - from zero - about three years ago when my son began playing hockey. His coach invited any parents who wanted to help to join the them during practices... of course Rick asked if I would and I said yes.

I could stand and glide (mostly when I didn't want to or know why), but stopping and controlled turns... were out of my league of skills. Little by little I got better. We would go to general/public skates because my son needed the extra ice time as well. About two years ago I started itching to try my skills in 'pick up' hockey games ( just like when your a kid playing with friends in the backyard). As I got better, I joined a summer league, stayed with the team through the winter/spring... I love it.

I think the hardest part for me was the voice in my head before the first pick up game. I had helped Rick and watched, but when I got out there myself for the first time, I didn't know what to do at all. There was a voice telling me I was crazy, I was going to suck, look like a fool, everyone was looking at me as if I didn't belong there.... it was horrible.

The BEST/WORST part about martial training is just that experience. Getting out of the comfort zone, being a 'white belt' all over again. I wanted a new, fresh challenge and this fell into my lap. I have been in martial arts for so long, I would be too comfortable with theformat an environment of a 'new school' for it to shock me the way this hockey experience did. It was great.

Long story short, I can relate - from recent, personal experience - to your doubts and hesitations. The biggest test of your character is just getting in there, after that it is the learning. Keep challenging yourself.

Paul M