Child Support Stay

[Cryozombie]

and im totaly glad for that i would hate to lose power over my own body and my choices regarding it. i guess i would like men to have their cake but I get to eat it (ie they get to keep a baby if they want it but i get to keep totaly control of my body ...even in pregnancy issues)

but how it can be fair for both people

My take? This way Its a CHOICE issue on both sides?

Guy and Girl Do the deed, Girl gets pregnant.

Girl has Choice, Keep The Baby, Have an Abortion, Go to Term Give it up for adoption or to the Father.

Guy can then file, that she has to Have the Abortion, Can keep the child, and he will support it, or that he will help with the expenses until it is born and adopted.

The two decisons are compared, and work out SOMTHING like this in case of a disagreement: (its not perfect, but its the best I can come up with at the moment)

1) Guy says Abort, Girl Says Keep: Girl Keeps, but bears Financial Responsibility.
2) Girl Says Abort, Guy says Keep: Girl gets to Abort.
3) Girl Says Adopt, Guy says Abort: Girl goes thru term, and gives up the child, and father forfiets parental rights and Financial obligation durring pregnancy.
4) Girl Says Abort, Guy says give up for adoption: Girl gets to Abort.
5) Guy says Keep, Girl says Adoption: Baby goes to Father, Girl gives up parental rights and financial obligation durring pregnancy and afterwords.

This way, no one is telling a woman what to do with her own body, she is free to make the decisions regarding that, but issues regarding the future of the child fall into both hands.

If a child is seperated in cases of Divorce, then either the man or the woman (depending on who gets custody) is ABSOLUTLEY required to pay support, providing it is examined correctly by the courts on an annual basis and expenses are divided up fairly. Obviously if a Mother is making 100,000.00 a year, and a father is making 25,000.00 a year, and the mother has custody, its not FAIRLY divided up to take 20% from the father and give to the mother... and the same applies in the opposite situation... If the mother is making 25,000.00 and the father is making 100,000.00 the mother SHOULD recived that 20%

 

[FearlessFreep]

First choice is to keep your clothes on.

In out popular culture, sex is seperated from pregancy, from personal commitment, from responsibility, from trust. In reality, they can't be so seperated.

Maybe I'm old fashion or something but it seems to me like a lot of the probems trying to be solved are really problems that stem a much earlier of problem of trying to have their cake and not worrying about cleaning up the kitchen

 

[Kacey]

And here's another point to ponder - per an article reprinted from The New York Times in today's Denver Post, in some states, at least (varies by state), a man can lose his parental rights by not registering with a putatative father's registry before an adoption request is made - even if he was unaware of the existence of the child before the adoption paperwork was begun.

http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060319/NEWS06/603190504/1012

If the father is notified and takes no action - fine, if the mother doesn't want the child, then adoption is a great option. If the father isn't notified and has no chance to object because the mother didn't tell him - in my opinion, there's something seriously wrong with the system.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Well... I would have to assume that comes from the fact you could afford one that cost so much.

My roommates ex-wife got hers Pro-bono, although he couldnt find a free one willing to help him.

MY divorce lawyer (and I had no kids Thank God) only cost me $700.00, and got me everything I wanted... So I have to guess that your experience and the amount you paid isnt "typical" unless its within your means.

After all, a Couple kids workin at Taco Bell wouldnt be able to hire anyone quite so... pricey.

In Our state I would have to pay $500 to full depending upon time married and the ex's condition. This is of course if she files for the request, and then proof of situtation is discussed.

In my case, it was no ordered or filed, as she was able to work and capable of making payments to a lawyer just as I was.

 

[Rich Parsons]

A freind of mine went through the divorce and had temporay custody as she had left the state. He also got Custody, as she did not show up to court, so she gets them one weekend a month, and two weeks in the summer and alternating holidays, and of course Mother's Day.

Yet, even though she was absent in the process, and not paying the child support for her kids during the temporay portion, the court system aka Friend of the Court, contact my friend and told him he was delinquint. They assummed he was the one not paying. They also contacted him with letters telling him he had not gone through the mandatory training classes for dealing with children during a divorce. He had, she had not. Once again an asuumption.

In 1976 time frame there was a push for the Equal Rights Admendment. (* Many people believe this was given when the admendment was put into place that everyone could vote no matter of sex or property. Age still applied. *) I was asked by lots of teachers and also the female students if I supported this admendment anyways. I said I did. I just thought that the women should also have to register for the draft as the guys did. You see, in that time frame and in the early 80's if you were male and did not register you could not get federal or state assistance including loans. You might even be rejected from a prestigious college, unless your family was well known.

My arguement was that equal is equal, and if it effects my college, why does it not effect theirs? I know some cultures and countries put their women on the front lines. I know since then we have fighter pilots and helicopter pilots and support personel as well in the millitary. And also the drop of the draft registration as well. So, it is getting better.

Will it ever be 100%?

I think not.

Yet, we can talk and discuss the issues.

As to the issue of control over your body, there are two people involved and she can always say no. He can always say no. She can use some form of birthcontrol, as well as he can. Decisions have to be made by the two involved.

So, even if birth control was used and 0.01 pecent chance occurred, then what options are there for both involved?

As John has put forward as well as others, there are options that are currently not covered by our current laws or society.

If options are available for discussion, then decisions can be made.

I think it is good to have the discussions and to try to move forward in a positive manner, even though there will be many a stumbled step.