Duped Dads Fight Back

[Touch Of Death]

I have a cousin who is in that situation. He can't even afford to rent. He has a camper he stays in at local camp grounds. His ex gets most of his meager paycheck. Truly a sad situation.

The state can usualy only take about 20%.
Sean

 

[shesulsa]

I doubt it's merely the genetics. The fact he was tricked into caring and financially supporting the kids by a conniving mother would seem to be eating at him far more.

Not that I'm absolving this poor excuse of a woman from blame but - I don't think he was tricked into caring. That would indicate he has no control over his choice to care. The article states he had a nagging suspiscion but doesn't state when that suspiscion arose; was it from the very beginning of the relationship? If so, then it's his fault he didn't demand a paternity test and make his choice accordingly then - that would have been the responsible thing to do for himself and for the child. And if his suspiscion was raised only recently or near the split/divorce, then he's already emotionally invested in these children and THEY are emotionally invested in HIM.

We don't know all the particulars as to why she moved away and I won't even go near that subject. And I do think he has a right to go after any child support that would be due him ... however ... these children are getting lost in the tornado here and I have to ask, what's the worse damage being done?

Here's another excerpt from the article:

But justice for a disillusioned dad can clash with the best interests of a child raised to think of him as a father. "These cases get cast as the duped dad vs. the scheming wife," says Temple University law professor Theresa Glennon, who has examined the changing legal landscape. "This is really about men deserting children they have been parenting." She points out that severing paternal ties could devastate a child depending on the length and quality of his relationship with the nonbiological father.

and the last paragraph:

Some legislators, however, are acknowledging that there is more to fatherhood than what can be defined solely by the sharing of a few genes. Oklahoma last year joined several states in adopting a law that limits the time frame for contesting paternity to a few years after the child's birth. Paula Roberts, an attorney at the nonprofit Center for Law and Social Policy who helped craft these measures, argues that such time limits protect both the child and the nonbiological father, should Mom ever try to shut him out or the biological dad suddenly show up wanting to horn in. Meanwhile, activists in Oregon are planning to submit two competing bills this session. Both allow a man to contest paternity within a year of discovering he is not the biological father, but only one forces the courts to consider a child's best interests in every case. The other allows a nonbiological father to get out if he wants to, but if he's the one fighting to maintain parental status, then the court has to consider the child's interests. That's a lot of nuance, but when it comes to determining fatherhood, sometimes an easy answer isn't what's best.

It's never easy when it comes to the fate of children.

 

[Kacey]

It's never easy when it comes to the fate of children.

This is, I think, the key - what is in the best interest of the child? Biological relationship is only a part - once a child becomes emotionally attached, I think a whole different type of commitment comes into play. On an individual level, I can understand the fathers who find out that they were cuckolded, but on a larger level, I have a problem letting parents out of their commitment to children that they have helped to raise.