Acid Reflux but oh well...

[windwalker099]

RESOLVED PROBLEM: PTSD
Comments: Veteran completed Prolonged Exposure treatment.

Donno

If it means they feel you don't have a problem anymore,
or you completed the treatment protocol.

It's not clear if you're looking to resolve a problem or receive compensation from having a problem.
they may not be able to resolve.

Have dealt with the VA a couple of different times.
Seems like it kind of depends on the clinic and area..

I'm sure you're doing everything you can to resolve your issues.
Might try a different VA clinic if you can, or request to see the Hospital administration if you feel your problem is unresolved..

best of luck

 

[isshinryuronin]

In my thirties, a doctor, a new one, (the old one retired) told me to spend more time in the dojo. So I did.
He asked me what I did at home to settle my stomach when it was bothering me.
I told him I smoked a fattie, ate everything in the house and felt great. He told me, "Hey, whatever works for you.”

The summation of 1500 years of medical practice.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Donno

If it means they feel you don't have a problem anymore,
or you completed the treatment protocol.

It's not clear if you're looking to resolve a problem or receive compensation from having a problem.
they may not be able to resolve.

Have dealt with the VA a couple of different times.
Seems like it kind of depends on the clinic and area..

I'm sure you're doing everything you can to resolve your issues.
Might try a different VA clinic if you can, or request to see the Hospital administration if you feel your problem is unresolved..

best of luck

It means he completed the treatment protocol. The same thing happens with drug treatment, and was something I hated when working in a clinic - we'd have a set amount of time we were supposed to 'graduate' people to less and less treatment, based on how often they attended (and not much else), and once they finished, they completed outpatient and were done! No more therapy!

They couldn't even come back to me for private lessons if they wanted, because insurance wouldn't pay the clinic as they 'completed' already. The best I could do, unless they wanted to pay out of pocket, was recommend some private therapists that are good with addiction issues, and hope they can get it covered under other mental health issues. Or if they relapse they can start over.

Nevermind that addiction is a life long issue, and it's not like they'll just magically be cured. From the notes Bill shared, it sounds like the same type of determination was made for PTSD (something else that is not typically resolved with short term therapy).

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Nevermind that addiction is a life long issue, and it's not like they'll just magically be cured. From the notes Bill shared, it sounds like the same type of determination was made for PTSD (something else that is not typically resolved with short term therapy).

The PE did what it was designed to do - something I didn't really understand at the time, as I had never had any form of therapy. It was designed to make me verbalize the 'incident' over and over again until I could talk about it without severe mental pain. It did that. I was even able to talk to my wife about it, and I had never told her. I can mention it here; you'll find I never spoke of it in years previous.

What I did not understand was that PE deals with the incident and NOT all the stuff that comes with it. Lots of ancillary stuff that I had kind of forgotten about got shaken loose. I describe it as being like living in a snow globe that just got a good shake. I have horrible nightmares. I have anger issues - many here on AK have seen my 'moments', which I'm not proud of. I am on 'high alert' perpetually. I've got security cameras around my house, I have isolated myself and become a hermit. I've cut myself off from all family and friends. I go to work, the dojo, and sometimes out to dinner with my wife, and that's about it. None of that has been 'cured'; in fact, it's worse now.

So the PE 'worked' but it didn't 'help'.

 

[windwalker099]

The PE did what it was designed to do - something I didn't really understand at the time, as I had never had any form of therapy. It was designed to make me verbalize the 'incident' over and over again until I could talk about it without severe mental pain.

Suspected it would be something like that....

It's not clear if you're looking to resolve a problem or receive compensation from having a problem.
they may not be able to resolve.

Why I had asked about "your" expectation's of the treatment.

Thanks for the clarification...

Like many things, not walking in the same shoes, kinda hard to offer advice.

There are a lot of support groups other vets make to help themselves and others having the same issues get through them...or at least offer ways they dealt with it, or are dealing with it...

Probably something you've looked into already

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

The PE did what it was designed to do - something I didn't really understand at the time, as I had never had any form of therapy. It was designed to make me verbalize the 'incident' over and over again until I could talk about it without severe mental pain. It did that. I was even able to talk to my wife about it, and I had never told her. I can mention it here; you'll find I never spoke of it in years previous.

What I did not understand was that PE deals with the incident and NOT all the stuff that comes with it. Lots of ancillary stuff that I had kind of forgotten about got shaken loose. I describe it as being like living in a snow globe that just got a good shake. I have horrible nightmares. I have anger issues - many here on AK have seen my 'moments', which I'm not proud of. I am on 'high alert' perpetually. I've got security cameras around my house, I have isolated myself and become a hermit. I've cut myself off from all family and friends. I go to work, the dojo, and sometimes out to dinner with my wife, and that's about it. None of that has been 'cured'; in fact, it's worse now.

So the PE 'worked' but it didn't 'help'.

Yeah, that's only the first half of what they're supposed to do. There's this idea that if you open any doors, you have to make sure to close them back up. Both by the end of every session (a lot easier to do in private sessions then group), and as a course of treatment itself. If they only helped you open up, and didn't then work with you on everything that followed, that's a bad treatment program.

If they tried to work with you on what follows, and it was way more than expected, that's not a fault of the treatment program, but does mean they should have put in a request to extend you or get you into a 'higher' level of care regarding it.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Why I had asked about "your" expectation's of the treatment.

To be clear, I have filed for compensation. I mean, it happened when I was 18, and I'm 63 now. I haven't ever been involved with the VA until this year, as the nightmares became too much to deal with. I think it's fair to apply for compensation; I should have applied decades ago, but didn't know it was available. There is much that the VA provides that they simply do not tell you about unless you stumble across it on your own, as I did.

I have VA disability for tinnitus, which I just got. Been living with tinnitus since boot camp, when my ear plug fell out on the rifle range and my drill instructor ordered me not to put it back in as punishment for not having inserted it properly to begin with. A lifetime of pain because a DI was mad at me. I think I deserve the $174 a month at this point.

There are a lot of support groups other vets make to help themselves and others having the same issues get through them...or at least offer ways they dealt with it, or are dealing with it...

Probably something you've looked into already

I have. My VA therapist found an online group for men who have suffered the same type of incident I did. I tried it, it was full of guys who were indeed hurt like me, but not my kind of guys. There is another online group in Indianapolis that is more 'talk therapy'. I was offered drugs to help me sleep, but I turned that down. I take a pile of pills every day for my medical issues. I don't need to numb myself up with drugs. Many people in my situation turn to illicit drugs and alcohol. I never did that, for whatever reason. I reject the idea of chemically altering myself to deal with what was done to me.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Yeah, that's only the first half of what they're supposed to do. There's this idea that if you open any doors, you have to make sure to close them back up. Both by the end of every session (a lot easier to do in private sessions then group), and as a course of treatment itself. If they only helped you open up, and didn't then work with you on everything that followed, that's a bad treatment program.

If they tried to work with you on what follows, and it was way more than expected, that's not a fault of the treatment program, but does mean they should have put in a request to extend you or get you into a 'higher' level of care regarding it.

My therapist was a bit fussed because my 'SUDS' score went down, but my PTSD and Depression scale scores stayed the same or went up. But my PTSD is 'chronic', I've sat with it for nearly 50 years. I didn't expect it would magically go away, but since I've never had any kind of therapy before, I really had no idea what to expect. I kind of still don't. I don't think there are any real cures for what is wrong with me. The best I can probably hope for is to not let it keep causing nightmares and angry outbursts; I can't afford to lose any more jobs because I yelled at a boss.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

As a side note, I have spoken to a lot of veterans who now are applying for VA benefits such as compensation. They universally recommend NOT talking about it to non-veterans, as they have all faced criticism and condemnation from others they speak to, especially if they are not 'combat' veterans who were injured in combat. As an MP, I was a first-responder to traffic accident fatalities, training accidents like crashed planes and helicopters and overturned tanks and jeeps and so on. I've dealt with my share of dead and dying people. Watched them die; I know the smell of death and what it looks like when life leaves someone who is looking right at you and hoping to somehow survive. I've fought with drunken Marines and their spouses. I've been in so many bar fights I can't even remember them all. I've been held down and kicked in the back of the head until I passed out. I've been stationed on bombing ranges where errant rounds lifted me a foot in the air from the impact. My hearing is nearly shot, I have permanent tinnitus, and all the injuries I suffered over the years have started to really become problems now in my old age. I have finally decided that I'm tired of pretending me that I'm an indestructible macho Marine who doesn't feel pain and never breaks. I'm broken. My time in the Marine Corps helped break me. I deserve compensation and I'm applying for it. Some will condemn me for that. Oh well. I'm not tough anymore, I'm weak and old and tired.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

My therapist was a bit fussed because my 'SUDS' score went down, but my PTSD and Depression scale scores stayed the same or went up. But my PTSD is 'chronic', I've sat with it for nearly 50 years. I didn't expect it would magically go away, but since I've never had any kind of therapy before, I really had no idea what to expect. I kind of still don't. I don't think there are any real cures for what is wrong with me. The best I can probably hope for is to not let it keep causing nightmares and angry outbursts; I can't afford to lose any more jobs because I yelled at a boss.

I can't say for certain if it would be appropriate, since I don't know you beyond here, have not treated you, and besides no longer work as a therapist. But there are treatment modalities that don't focus on getting to the root cause of the issues, and instead just focus on coping mechanism and dealing with symptoms like you described as they occur, that sounds like it'd be a better fit for you.

You'd just have to be upfront with a therapist that that's all that you're looking for, and hope they're honest about whether or not they can/will provide that. My experience on both sides of the aisle has been that many will either lie about what modalities they have training in (many social work 'therapists' literally only have training in active listening, since that's all some schools teach regarding therapy/counseling), or will end up ignoring you because they believe X will be better for you.

 

[JowGaWolf]

From my VA file:

DISCHARGE PLANNING/CRITERIA:
Treating Specialty: PCT / PTSD
Clinically Stable
Patient has completed a course of time-limited, evidence based psychotherapy.
UPDATED/RESOLVED/INACTIVATED PROBLEMS & COMMENTS:
RESOLVED PROBLEM: PTSD
Comments: Veteran completed Prolonged Exposure treatment.

Assessment:
Date Instrument Raw Trans Scale
08/07/2024 15:17 PCL-5 WEEKLY 45 PCL-5
07/31/2024 15:13 PCL-5 WEEKLY 46 PCL-5
Date Instrument Raw Trans Scale
08/07/2024 15:17 PHQ9 13 PHQ9
07/31/2024 15:13 PHQ9 14 PHQ9
07/17/2024 15:36 PHQ9 15 PHQ9
06/05/2024 15:06 PHQ9 12 PHQ9
05/22/2024 15:12 PHQ9 11 PHQ9
05/08/2024 15:10 PHQ9 11 PHQ9
04/17/2024 15:11 PHQ9 8 PHQ9
04/03/2024 15:49 PHQ9 12 PHQ9

I still have PTSD and depression.

Do you own a pet?

 

[Gyakuto]

Do you own a pet?

Where’s this going…?

 

[JowGaWolf]

I'm broken. My time in the Marine Corps helped break me. I deserve compensation and I'm applying for it. Some will condemn me for that. Oh well. I'm not tough anymore, I'm weak and old and tired.

I won't condemn anyone for being broken. There are millions of people who haven't seen or suffered any of what you have, and they end up broken. The ones who won't to look down others about being broken are probably broken themselves but have the benefit of strong denial and have created a new reality in order to avoid their issues. But not everything can be walled off.

People break differently. People heal differently. People cope differently.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Where’s this going…?

It's just a curiosity questions. Pets come with less BS. so it makes it easier to deal with some emotions and trauma with a pet. Preferably a dog lol. I'm not looking for a fix, but I'm curious to see what is currently available and what helps him reduce the load and what doesn't. My trauma is no where near what he has gone through. Just based on how I am, I would turn into a monk and withdraw from the world but not from life. I could imagine at that point; I just don't want anymore BS from the world and Pets came to mind. If I had seen the things that he's seen, I also would have a low tolerance from other people who make small problems seem like big problems.

He can't unsee the things that he's seen. I've watched documentaries of old WWII Vets in their 90's and that trauma never left them. It's a part of them. For me, I wouldn't have any other choice but to take a spiritual path, not so much to fix the past but to be ok in the present. I get angry at people, but not so much with animals.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

Do you own a pet?

Yes, two dogs and two cats.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I won't condemn anyone for being broken. There are millions of people who haven't seen or suffered any of what you have, and they end up broken. The ones who won't to look down others about being broken are probably broken themselves but have the benefit of strong denial and have created a new reality in order to avoid their issues. But not everything can be walled off.

People break differently. People heal differently. People cope differently.

I spent many years doing exactly what a lot of my fellow veterans do. "Oh, I'm OK, I'm not missing a leg, I didn't get blown up in an IED." Damage accumulates. How many times do you have to body slam some drunk or get body slammed by a drunk before your body just says NO MAS!

 

[HighKick]

I won't condemn anyone for being broken. There are millions of people who haven't seen or suffered any of what you have, and they end up broken. The ones who won't to look down others about being broken are probably broken themselves but have the benefit of strong denial and have created a new reality in order to avoid their issues. But not everything can be walled off.

People break differently. People heal differently. People cope differently.

I don't feel denial or new reality are the correct words here. We can go down the rabbit trail of 'broken' ad infinitum.

First, thank you to any and all service people.

If we are expanding the argument beyond that set of people, I know and am one of those people who have experienced major trauma, and have more than a couple of body parts that aren't my own. I could make a long list of injuries, but....why? I do everything I did before, granted different but, just like when I started out my life, I had to figure stuff out. That is really what it is all about. Figuring stuff out. Just like we do when training martial arts, figuring stuff out.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I don't feel denial or new reality are the correct words here. We can go down the rabbit trail of 'broken' ad infinitum.

First, thank you to any and all service people.

If we are expanding the argument beyond that set of people, I know and am one of those people who have experienced major trauma, and have more than a couple of body parts that aren't my own. I could make a long list of injuries, but....why? I do everything I did before, granted different but, just like when I started out my life, I had to figure stuff out. That is really what it is all about. Figuring stuff out. Just like we do when training martial arts, figuring stuff out.

"Why don't you just get over it?" I hear that a lot, and it's part of the reason vets tell vets not to tell non-vets about our pain. At age 63, if I could 'just get over it' or 'figure stuff out' on my own, I'd have done it by now. That's the issue. Some people have sympathy for that and some do not. I've certainly heard people tell me that they had similar things happen to them and THEY don't have issues, so why do I? It's amazing how hostile people can be over things like this.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I don't feel denial or new reality are the correct words here. We can go down the rabbit trail of 'broken' ad infinitum.

It's the only ones that I got.

"Why don't you just get over it?" I hear that a lot, and it's part of the reason vets tell vets not to tell non-vets about our pain.

Wow I thought that was just stuff I heard in high school. Whenever someone told me that that, my inner self would say "How about you just get over me hitting you in the face." I would always get that when I wanted to share my feelings. People took it as a weakness, which is why I'm messed up in certain departments. I started keeping all of that negative stuff in. I've gotten better at it, mainly because I came to the realization that "Me getting over it isn't the issue." The issue are the people who say that to me. Part of my process of "getting over it" is to speak about it, those who feel that what I have to say is bother to them are the ones who have the issue. My only mistake was thinking that they were kind enough to hear me out.

I'm sorry that you have to go through that as a vet. It's bad enough to hear that with the "small stuff that becomes heavy." But to hear that people say that with the "heavy stuff that gets heavier" seems to be selfish on their part. These sound like the same people who would want someone to listen to them talking about how depressed they are about not getting facebook likes. But when a real issue comes up it's "get over it".

Now I want to go punch someone in the face lol.

if I could 'just get over it' or 'figure stuff out' on my own, I'd have done it by now.

This is what people don't understand. If we could, we would,, and we wouldn't wait 5 years later to come to the conclusion that we want "to get over it" I personally think it's people willing to trash others because they have been trashed. I'm only basing this on 2 people that this reminds me of. They start out as nice people and run into someone that treats them like dirt, so they do what was done to them. "If the world is going to crap on me, then I'm going to crap on the world." type mentality. So instead of being the opposition, they choose to share the same lack of kindness that was shown to them to people who don't deserve it.

 

[windwalker099]

As a side note, I have spoken to a lot of veterans who now are applying for VA benefits such as compensation. They universally recommend NOT talking about it to non-veterans, as they have all faced criticism and condemnation from others they speak to, especially if they are not 'combat' veterans who were injured in combat.

As an MP, I was a first-responder to traffic accident fatalities, training accidents like crashed planes and helicopters and overturned tanks and jeeps and so on. I've dealt with my share of dead and dying people. Watched them die; I know the smell of death and what it looks like when life leaves someone who is looking right at you and hoping to somehow survive.

An infantry field medic during the Cold War, stationed in "Baumholder" Germany,

Can relate to what first responders go through and have gone through.

Having gone though it myself,, one of the reasons after 10 years in the medical corp, changed MOS
to combat support, land combat missile system tech..MOS..

Equipment can be broken, People also get broken,,
a little different.


MP's , Medic's,,,combat or not, we all get to join the party when **** happens..

A word of caution

...ya might really want to check things out before trying to get some compensation for long-term service related injuries..
The government has away of giving you something with one hand, taking it away with the other...

Seen it happen to retirees claiming disabilities only to find out the compensation claim was being made up out of their retirement benefits..


good luck...