Zombies, gotta love em'. But if you have to fight them....

[Buka]

Pretty funny stuff.

http://bouncer101.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/why-your-martial-art-sucks-in-the-zombie-apocalpse/

 

[MA-Caver]

I'll paraphrase a line from Jackie Brown... "The AK-47, when you absolutely, positively, have to kill every last zombie in the room, accept no substitute." But a nice mossburg and a katana does the job just as well too. Going H2H with one of the undead is pretty stupid if you ask me. You can strike, kick, elbow, btg, knee and everything else and they won't feel a thing and keep coming right at you. More than one? They'll just charge at you enmass and well, you're screwed.
Run, run, run fast as you can and for as long as you can... they don't get tired either.

 

[chinto]

if you had that problem, a throw or strike might buy you time to use a blade or fire arm. in that case larger is better! bigger bore on the gun and longer heavier blade on the blade end.... there are things in karate and other arts that might help.... but kama, katana, bo, destroy the CNS and brain.. even zombie's die.

 

[Jenna]

Frankly this is the problem with some of yalls MA people to imagine that controlled fisticuffs is the answer to everything! pffft.. it only makes the whole thing far WORSE!! I have seen these zombie encounters go from bad to baddest far too often.. you know.. at the start it is all mouthing off "yo mamas a zombie too!" and groaning and stuff.. a bit of bite n slap n arm off at the shoulder and they drag theirselves away only to come back later with a whole bunch of their buds..

Anyway per UN conventions zombies are protected under Article 99Z.. look it up it is on the internet n things..

Attempt deescalation through logic.. Best advice currently is to argue "you are dead already yes? so why do you feel this remnant need to feed? THINK on it z!" and.. "didnt yo mama tell you it is like rude to eat people?"

Where this logical proposition does not appear to work (like in more advanced stages of dead).. it is good to understand that most zombies they are merely seeking someone to accept their deadness without prejudice and to validate them, alive / dead / undead / George Clooney / whatever.. it is all ok.. it is not for us to judge..

Responses to lending this listening ear I will describe as.. "variable".. and.. the Van gogh response.. "huh? I cannot hear nothing I have leant my ear to a zombie and now it is bitten off".. and so the latter stage of zombie interaction it might involve a form of Gestalt.. it is all set out in my papers filed in the campus library.. ask the librarian it will be easy for her to find it is in the last drawer under Z.. only the librarian she will try to nibble you and but it is only a sign of affection .. and yes my papers describe this Gestalt it consists of an high speed irimi~nage about the neck performed with a bladed sleeve..

I have yet to receive any complaints from zombie clients following this form of therapeutic intervention..

 

[Gentle Fist]

Why fight when you can just use one of these?

 

[Tez3]

The British way to kill em.

 

[mmartist]

 

[chinto]

well a good eku or cricket bat, or oh shovel, or rifle... all work..

 

[blindsage]

I'll take my Bagua really big sword:

Decapitation anyone?

 

[Flying Crane]

guns are nice, but let's be realistic: ammunition is heavy and it runs out. Then you are just carrying a heavy, not-so-good club. And getting the shot in the right place, while on the run, is probabaly more than most people can accomplish. Not to mention the noise will attract more of the undead hoards.

To quote Max Brooks: "Blades don't need reloading". That sums it up.

You need a primary blade weapon, like a longsword. A good hand-and-a-half longsword, you can wield either with one or two hands. You need a backup weapon for tighter conditions, like inside a house where you have less room to swing, so a tomahawk (or a pair, and the backside doubles as a smashing weapon/hammer) or a long knife (or pair) like Chinese butterfly swords. A short sword could make for a good backup as well. Honestly, a couple of good backups would be worthwhile, and these are also things that could work well in the open in case your primary gets lost or damaged.

A handgun could be a good option "just in case". It's lighter than a rifle, ammuntion is lighter than a rifle, and you can have it for crazy emergency. But rely on the blades for quiet and for your daily zombie killing.

I found that the author of the blog missed a very important part. He says that we are in the midst of the Zombie Apocalypse right now, and I agree with him. He sited these things, the guy eating some other guy's face, the kids eating their fingers, all that. OK, good points. But he missed all the zombies around us: the people walking down the sidewalks glued to their smart phones, the kids who can't peel themselves away from the video games, the people who can't get away from Facebook for even one moment to check for traffic before they cross the streets. Yup, the zombies are all around us. let the killing begin...

 

[Big Don]

 

[Ken Morgan]

Actually my Martial art doesn't suck when it comes to deaing with Zombies. Whoever said iaido was of no use, will think otherwise when the Zombies attack.

 

[Sukerkin]

My thoughts exactly, Ken .

 

[Dirty Dog]

Although the author makes some valid points about armchair warriors, other than that he clearly doesn't know his rectum from a hole in the ground.

After all... he referrenced Chuck Norris in the section about Karate...

 

[sfs982000]

Honestly who would want to go hand to hand with a zombie anyway, do you know what kind of diseases those decaying bodies carry. Long blade and bludeons are the way to go, they're quiet and don't need reloading.

 

[Flying Crane]

Honestly who would want to go hand to hand with a zombie anyway, do you know what kind of diseases those decaying bodies carry. Long blade and bludeons are the way to go, they're quiet and don't need reloading.

Aye, I was surprised he didn't mention this in the blog, particularly with the close grappling methods like BJJ, Judo, and Wrestling. You wanna grapple with a zombie? that's a good way to become one of them. You can't choke him out, you can't use joint locks because they don't feel pain and won't care if you rip an arm right off. Close body-to-body, face-to-face contact gives Zed a good opportunity to bite you. Now you've got about five seconds to extract yourself from the grapple and cut off your own arm (or wherever the bite was) before the zombie virus spreads and you shamble your way thru the rest of your existence.

I also wanted to point out that you need to choose your weapon arsenal carefully and don't get over enthusiastic. Since I do train in a number of weapons I often carry several with me on my way to class. I've got a couple of staffs and a spear in a long carry bag, up to three swords at a time in a shoulder bag, and a pair of butterfly swords and a pair of tomahawks in my backpack, with other training gear, water bottle, etc. The weight adds up and it all gets heavy and becomes absolutely unweildy. I'm armed to the teeth, but I couldn't use any of it under the circumstances.. Be realistic about what you can actually carry with you when you are on the run, and still be able to access it when needed and fight with, without needing to drop everything else.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Pretty funny stuff.

http://bouncer101.wordpress.com/2012/05/30/why-your-martial-art-sucks-in-the-zombie-apocalpse/

I feel slighted. No mention of FMA's at all. *sniff*

 

[Flying Crane]

and don't forget to clean and disinfect your weapons afterwards.

and a good pair of goggles and some kind of cover for the mouth and nose during combat would be wise. Gotta keep those pathogens out...

I suppose it's embarassingly obvious that I've fantasized...er... thought a lot about this issue.

 

[Sukerkin]

:chuckles: You can never be TOO prepared, mate

 

[sfs982000]

and don't forget to clean and disinfect your weapons afterwards.

and a good pair of goggles and some kind of cover for the mouth and nose during combat would be wise. Gotta keep those pathogens out...

I suppose it's embarassingly obvious that I've fantasized...er... thought a lot about this issue.

Yep good points, but I would also add some kevlar body armour in there somewhere as well. Like you I have nothing better to do with my time than train in martial arts and prepare for the zombie uprising