Worst martial arts film you have seen?

[Steel Tiger]

"Kill or Be Killed" and "Kill and Kill Again" are truly aweful but they pale into insignificance beside a film I saw in the early eighties called "The Instructor". Of my God! The Instructor was a short, potbellied, hairy fella who could outrun cars. The fight scenes were dire and the sound effects comical. If you can ever find it, watch it. But be warned you may die from laughing.

 

[qi-tah]

Great, that's my comedy veiwing lined up for the next month!

I'd probably nominate any movie based on a computer game as well - if i could remember any of their names! Hang on, wasn't there a movie made out of an old game where you could kill yr opponents once you'd defeated them? And is it my imagination, or was Kylie Minogue in it?

 

[Hand Sword]

To be completely honest...I liked them all back in the day. I would watch anything Martial Arts back then, and still do-pretty much. I will say that the genre from China, with all of the wire stuff gets on my nerves now. It wasn't as bad back then. I can't wait to see Spike TV's kung fu week coming up. I haven't seen one since back in the day.

 

[Blindside]

Gymkata with honorary mention to The Crippled Masters

 

[elder999]

Hang on, wasn't there a movie made out of an old game where you could kill yr opponents once you'd defeated them? And is it my imagination, or was Kylie Minogue in it?

MORTAL COMBAT!

 

[Drac]

Gymkata

Nuff said

Ohhhhhhhhhhh I fogot about that one..That was a real stinker...

 

[Marginal]

Mortal Kombat is terrible just because it blatantly plagarizes Enter the Dragon. The sequels, those are a whole other level of terrible. (Hey, look, I want to move from point A to point B? How shall I accomplish this? Why, by backflips. The first motion you learn as a human after crawling.)

 

[Xue Sheng]

And the second Mortal Combat was worse.

 

[Blindside]

Mortal Kombat is terrible just because it blatantly plagarizes Enter the Dragon. The sequels, those are a whole other level of terrible. (Hey, look, I want to move from point A to point B? How shall I accomplish this? Why, by backflips. The first motion you learn as a human after crawling.)

But everybody plagarizes from Enter the Dragon, Van Dammit's movies alone have Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and the Quest.

 

[DavidCC]

Good grief you people really need to expand your bad movie horizons! The karate Kid, Enter the Dragon as WORST ever??? Puh-lease.

The Dragon Lives Again (1976)

So indescribably weird and bad... Bruce Lee is in some kind of strange Chinese hell, he teams up with Popeye the Sailor, James Bond, and the High Plains Drifter to fight Dracula, Zatoichi and host of other movie icons in a battle to free hell from tyranny. Plenty of awkward nudity, butt-jokes, and really really crappy MA. It makes the karate kid look like Citizen Kane.

You will bow down and thank the ghost of Bruce Lee for allowing you to see American Ninja after you see this.

http://www.superstrangevideo.com/ca...ype=middle&keywords=&pageSize=20&prodCatID=10

 

[Marginal]

But everybody plagarizes from Enter the Dragon, Van Dammit's movies alone have Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and the Quest.

None of those approach the blatant line for line transfer that MK went for.

The changes were only slight.
"A woman like that can teach you things about yourself."
"When a woman looks at you like that, it usually means something."

 

[Yeti]

OK...I'm glad someone threw in Gymkata, but what about Karate Kid 3?
I feel dirty just saying it!

 

[Drac]

OK...I'm glad someone threw in Gymkata, but what about Karate Kid 3?
I feel dirty just saying it!

I said that Karate Kid shortly after this thread was started...

 

[DavidCC]

Karate Kid 3 is a classic if American Cinema compared to just about any of the Bruceploitation films. For real you need to rename this thread "worst high budget American Film MA film" becasue you guys are walking in the park compared to some of the stuff I've got on my shelf. Chinese Hercules anyone? Shaolin vs Ninja? spare me ROFL Gymkata and JCVD are not very good, but they are just movies with bad acting and bad fights. That doesn't come close to the level of horror in Dragon Lives Again. Where else are you going to see two geisha girls (in hell) giggling over what appears to be a huge erection under the sheet covering the dead Bruce Lee, and when the sheet is pulled back it is only his 'chucks. Oh man, that's priceless.

now if they made gymkata with 1/4 the money and made it in 2 days, then it will approach this level of badness. Because that is a pretty bad movie.

 

[Steel Tiger]

Good grief you people really need to expand your bad movie horizons! The karate Kid, Enter the Dragon as WORST ever??? Puh-lease.

The Dragon Lives Again (1976)

So indescribably weird and bad... Bruce Lee is in some kind of strange Chinese hell, he teams up with Popeye the Sailor, James Bond, and the High Plains Drifter to fight Dracula, Zatoichi and host of other movie icons in a battle to free hell from tyranny. Plenty of awkward nudity, butt-jokes, and really really crappy MA. It makes the karate kid look like Citizen Kane.

You will bow down and thank the ghost of Bruce Lee for allowing you to see American Ninja after you see this.

http://www.superstrangevideo.com/ca...ype=middle&keywords=&pageSize=20&prodCatID=10

Haven't seen this one, but I did recently acquire a 50 MA movie pack and it has some absolutely incomprehensible Chinese flicks in it. Some of those '70s films out of HK are scary bad.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I said that Karate Kid shortly after this thread was started...

Mr. Miyagi would not be pleased :uhyeah:

 

[Gordon Nore]

Has anyone mentioned, "The Next Karate Kid," the fourth installment of the series? It co-starred Hilary Swank, who would go on to do "Million Dollar Baby." It was terrible.

"Gymkata" was a big-time stinker. Another standout was "No Retreat, No Surrender." The ghost of Bruce Lee coaches a teenage karate student who finds himself friendless in Seattle. {shudder}

 

[Steel Tiger]

Has anyone mentioned, "The Next Karate Kid," the fourth installment of the series? It co-starred Hilary Swank, who would go on to do "Million Dollar Baby." It was terrible.

"Gymkata" was a big-time stinker. Another standout was "No Retreat, No Surrender." The ghost of Bruce Lee coaches a teenage karate student who finds himself friendless in Seattle. {shudder}

Did you find that the ghost of Bruce Lee looked a lot like Roy Orbison?

 

[Drac]

Mr. Miyagi would not be pleased :uhyeah:

Ohhhhhh I'm scared......He might hit me with one of his Bonsai trees..

 

[Steel Tiger]

Ohhhhhh I'm scared......He might hit me with one of his Bonsai trees..

He could make you paint his house or sand his boardwalk!