You Might be a Martial Artist if...... (keep it clean please)

[ETinCYQX]

When your downstairs rec room fridge is full of Gatorade and water with no beer in sight

When your 3 Gi's hang just inside your bedroom and someone asks why there's blood on your housecoat

When someone wakes you up while sleeping and you automatically go for a body triangle and a rear naked choke

When you trip during a night of fun and pull off a perfect rolling break fall in jeans

When you've replaced your rec room floor at least twice from tearing the top off of a water-filled wavemaster target :lol:

When your "parties" consist of watching Olympic tapes, sitting around in gym clothes, and pausing periodically to try something

When you hit your shin off of the bedside table in the morning, slice it open, and don't notice until you get out of the shower and see blood on your towel

When your "nice" Gi is only nice because it's blue and the bloodstains don't show up as much :lol:

When you have a black eye, mat burn, and a cut on your face and your female MA friends think it's "hot" :lol:

When you know exactly how to get bloodstains out of white

When your criteria for a washing machine is handling two Gi's and rashguards

 

[Zero]

Thanks AJury, I came a bit late to this post and have nothing else hilarious to add to the above but just wanted to say this is a great post and along with having some really funny stuff it made me appreicate/remember why I, and I guess most of us on this forum, love MA so much!

 

[ajury]

Thank you Mr Zero.

It came out of some conversations at our TKD studio and then from our facebook page. The seed that started it was from many people from my studio. I did not have everyones permission to share so I removed their names. This seems like a great board and I am having fun learning from everyone. So much to learn, so little time, at least I can help add some laughter!

 

[Josh Oakley]

You might be a martial artist if a student asks why they should not swing their sword the way they are doing it, and in response you show a scar that required stitches in the double digits.

.. yeah, true story.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Last August I had surgery for cancer. 10" midline incision. 18" of gut removed. I left the hospital a week after surgery and two hours after I got home, I said to my wife "It's time for TKD class. Let's get going."
OK, so all I did in that class was sit at the back and quietly offer corrections and suggestions to the lower belts. I didn't rejoin class until two days after I got home (9 days after surgery). Couldn't kick very well, for some reason. 8 weeks to the day after the surgery, I tested for 2nd geup.

Does that make me a martial artist, or an idiot? I'm not really sure...

 

[Touch Of Death]

... When you view grocery dividers as possible weapons.

 

[Josh Oakley]

Last August I had surgery for cancer. 10" midline incision. 18" of gut removed. I left the hospital a week after surgery and two hours after I got home, I said to my wife "It's time for TKD class. Let's get going."
OK, so all I did in that class was sit at the back and quietly offer corrections and suggestions to the lower belts. I didn't rejoin class until two days after I got home (9 days after surgery). Couldn't kick very well, for some reason. 8 weeks to the day after the surgery, I tested for 2nd geup.

Does that make me a martial artist, or an idiot? I'm not really sure...

Let's face it. We dedicated martial artists ARE ALL a bit off...

 

[Mass]

You practice that one move in the shower before washing your hair.

 

[Phenix_Rider]

Last August I had surgery for cancer. 10" midline incision. 18" of gut removed. I left the hospital a week after surgery and two hours after I got home, I said to my wife "It's time for TKD class. Let's get going."
OK, so all I did in that class was sit at the back and quietly offer corrections and suggestions to the lower belts. I didn't rejoin class until two days after I got home (9 days after surgery). Couldn't kick very well, for some reason. 8 weeks to the day after the surgery, I tested for 2nd geup.

Does that make me a martial artist, or an idiot? I'm not really sure...

Probably crazy...

I tested for 1st gup at my old school two weeks after getting a cast off my foot from disconnecting a ligament in the arch.

Then I did a track day on my sportbike less than a month after having a similar surgery. Luckily mine was laporoscopic, so it's only four little cuts (groin, 2x navel, and solar plex).

 

[Amoroque]

when you go to the washroom to practice katas.

Nice! I thought I was the only one!

 

[Namii]

..... you think "is this room big enough to do a whole form in? is that ceiling high enough to do sword forms?"
..... you can easily duck out of the way of clumsy people
.... the practice area in your apt has scrapes on the ceiling and scratches in the cabinet from sword practice
.... there is at least one sword in each room in the apt
....when you enter a room you quickly scan your surroundings

 

[Josh Oakley]

..... you think "is this room big enough to do a whole form in? is that ceiling high enough to do sword forms?"
..... you can easily duck out of the way of clumsy people
.... the practice area in your apt has scrapes on the ceiling and scratches in the cabinet from sword practice
.... there is at least one sword in each room in the apt
....when you enter a room you quickly scan your surroundings

You might be a martial artist if both you and your ceiling have sword wounds.

 

[Indie12]

Let's face it. We dedicated martial artists ARE ALL a bit off...

Couldn't agree more!!

 

[Indie12]

"You spend every night contemplating the meaning of "Hi-Ya, Oi, or Waaasaaah!" :rofl:

 

[Namii]

You might be a martial artist if both you and your ceiling have sword wounds.

Haha true. Thankfully I dont have any "wounds" on me, but I did have a couple "nibbles"

 

[Indie12]

Here's another one:

"You wear your Martial Belt with your daily clothes"

 

[Josh Oakley]

Haha true. Thankfully I dont have any "wounds" on me, but I did have a couple "nibbles"

I have one that is 4 inches across, on my head.

 

[Namii]

..you feel that your regular kitchen knives are inadequate
...when you go to the chiropractor for the first time, the first question you ask after the adjustment is "can I train tonight?"
...you have used a sword for minor household cutting tasks because it was the closest and sharpest thing at the time

ouch 4 inches across the head? may i ask how that happened? That had to have been scary.
Its pretty freaky when you lay open your thumb on a peach can lid and you see your bone. Ive also gotten whacked in the face with a golf club in gym class and it required stitches to close my cheek back up.

 

[Josh Oakley]

..you feel that your regular kitchen knives are inadequate
...when you go to the chiropractor for the first time, the first question you ask after the adjustment is "can I train tonight?"
...you have used a sword for minor household cutting tasks because it was the closest and sharpest thing at the time

ouch 4 inches across the head? may i ask how that happened? That had to have been scary.
Its pretty freaky when you lay open your thumb on a peach can lid and you see your bone. Ive also gotten whacked in the face with a golf club in gym class and it required stitches to close my cheek back up.

I was kinda dumb in my early 20s. Trained with a new sword and didn't respect the fact that it had a sharp blade. Didn't take my time and train slow.drew it right across my head just above my right ear. Now I've got a permanent Nike Swoosh.

Didn't scare me. Seeing your own blood run past your eyes is a bit.... existential... but all I did was stop up the bleeding and put a paper towel on it, under a beanie cap. One of my female friends was LIVID when I showed up to class the next day, and the student government meeting, having still not seen the doctor. I think I had 17 stitches, 7 of which were deep stitches. I was about a millimeter away from the bone.

Doctor say I really would have fared better, had I just gone to the ER. He said I would have had a much more minimal scar, or posibly even none at all. He had to just shake his head and laugh when I told him the ER would cost more, and I had stuff to do.

The arrogance of youth.

 

[Indie12]

I was kinda dumb in my early 20s. Trained with a new sword and didn't respect the fact that it had a sharp blade. Didn't take my time and train slow.drew it right across my head just above my right ear. Now I've got a permanent Nike Swoosh.

Didn't scare me. Seeing your own blood run past your eyes is a bit.... existential... but all I did was stop up the bleeding and put a paper towel on it, under a beanie cap. One of my female friends was LIVID when I showed up to class the next day, and the student government meeting, having still not seen the doctor. I think I had 17 stitches, 7 of which were deep stitches. I was about a millimeter away from the bone.

Doctor say I really would have fared better, had I just gone to the ER. He said I would have had a much more minimal scar, or posibly even none at all. He had to just shake his head and laugh when I told him the ER would cost more, and I had stuff to do.

The arrogance of youth.

LOL... Unfortunately I can relate... On many levels!