You Might be a Martial Artist if...... (keep it clean please)

[Flea]

I called my doctor 'sensei' last week when I had an appointment for a checkup.

And he noted my latest bruises and said "Those are just from karate, right?"

So we're both used to it by now.

And then of course there's the female equivalent: you can't come home from the doctor's office without a stack of pamphlets on domestic violence. The more you explain what's really going on, the bigger that stack gets.

It's a good thing, really, but it gets old after a while.

 

[Flea]

What else?

You make any turn with a minimalist little pivot. It looks especially interesting at the grocery store.

You can't help but count your breaths whenever you walk. Bonus points for weird "heavy breathing" with any exertion.

"Stop, drop, and roll" isn't just for fires. :flame:

 

[ajury]

Bummer for you guys. It is funny how much more I trust folks after letting them kick me! I have met great people. Maybe it takes a certaint number of whacks to the head to be trusted. Those singles bars have it all wrong!



We quit doing that when his knees went bust (malformed bone structure leading to cartilege detorioration). We still miss those days. We'd do it again in a heartbeat. Few things form a friendship like beating the crap out of each other.[/quote]

 

[girlbug2]

And then of course there's the female equivalent: you can't come home from the doctor's office without a stack of pamphlets on domestic violence..

Heh, I was about to say

Your black eye was not from your "old man" beating you.

 

[IcemanSK]

You spend more effort and attention to the gear you wear during training than your street clothes.

When you meet a Korean person (or someone of the ethnicity of your Art) you assume they are into your Art....even though they might not have a clue about it.

A few years ago my wife & I started going to an Episcopal Church where they often bow at the cross as it comes down the aisle, & as we go up to the altar. I felt right at home there

 

[tenzen]

If your 2 year old punches kicks elbows knees and head butts already.

If your three year old does all of the above as well as 3 chokes 3 arm locks 3 leg locks.

If your childrens favorite thing to do outside is hit the heavy bag.

 

[Phenix_Rider]

If you regularly have skinned knuckles from the heavy bag

If you routinely "speak softly and carry a big stick"

If you contemplate practicing jump kicks at home and only just stop in time to avoid bouncing off the ceiling

If you've every knocked down a light fixture with a kick or staff twirl

If you "see" what it would take to take everyone in a room out of the fight

If your cat doesn't hear you coming when you pounce to pick him up

If you shadowbox in front of your bathroom mirror

Yes, yes, and yes... I'm hopeless.

 

[Rayban]

...if you're happy with the bruise you got because your training partner got it right.

...if you're equally happy you badly bruised your close friend while training with them.

...if you can swing a sword properly but be totally hopeless using a knife in the kitchen.

...if you are always looking around at what could double as an improvised weapon.

...if you start saying "yes Sensei" in your sleep.

...if you are forced to sleep on the couch because after you say "yes Sensei" you use a wrist lock in your sleep.

 

[David43515]

...if you always watch movies looking for what the star could use as a weapon/cover

 

[ajury]

...if you are forced to sleep on the couch because after you say "yes Sensei" you use a wrist lock in your sleep.[/quote]

My wife also studies Tae Kwon Do one night I woke up and she had done a short punch to the ribs, fortunately I was close and nothing broke.

 

[Blade96]

Heh.

 

[Noah_Legel]

...you attempt to apply a hadaka-jime (rear naked choke) in your sleep.

For your information, though, my girlfriend thought it was hilarious after she got her head free.

 

[thepanjr]

when you shake someone's hand in a shuto form. Happens all the time and is a annoying habit!

when you go to the washroom to practice katas.

when you block somone approaching hand.

 

[chrispillertkd]

When you shake hands with the left hand under the right elbow, even at Mass during the sign of peace.

When you correct your children's fist clenching when they try to "surprise attack" you.

When you think "I know that person, who are they?" and then realize who they are and that they do actually have clothes other than a dobok.

When you don't like being in crowds ... because it's harder to see a short weapon coming.

When you don't sit with your back to a door in a restaurant.

When you give examples of the effectiveness of certain techniques ... that you've been on the receiving end of.

Pax,

Chris

 

[chinto]

when your most expensive cloths are your two heavy weight shuriedo Gi's

when you have more martial arts weapons then kitchen knives

when you find when watching any movie, you keep screaming at the screen "quit screwing around and take him! oh man he is sooo open!" and also " what kind of idiot are you?? he should have been dispatched in the first 5 seconds!! how could you miss all the openings??!"

(yep done that a few times!)

you have a heavy bag in the Landry aria so you can punch it when you are doing the washing... and then use it usually.
when you wish you could afford a good shureido makawara for each room!

 

[Yondanchris]

.....when you yell at the spell check on your computer for not recognizing the words:
Dojo
Dojang
Kenpo
Kempo
Gi
Shaolin

In fact the spell check here on the forum is giving me headaches as we speak!

Chris

 

[ajury]

Master at my school says it is quite embarrassing when a child sees him in the market and says "You look different with your cloths on!"

Maybe I should start one that says you might be an instructor if......

 

[Twin Fist]

not gonna admit how many of these apply to me....

 

[Ironcrane]

When your non Martial Arts friends get the great idea of jumping out of a corner to scare you, and you respond by going into 'attack mode' looking for targets. Then before you know what's happening, your friends have gone pale, and are slowly backing away.

When you use your stepping/movement drills to get around other people, and objects. Done in a very casual, unobvious way of course.

When everything that's put in your hands is assest for its potential to be used as a weapon.

 

[Josh Oakley]

You know you're a martial artist if your friends come over to help you pack for a move, and can be heard shouting "found another knife!" no less than 20 times in the process.