I wanted to train it all... I wanted the best and most effective techniques... i wanted the best groundwork and footwork... i wanted to be faster and stronger than any one or more I faced.... I figured becuase I had been jumped, beaten, hit with bottles and what not I could handle whatever came at me... becuase I trained hard, I trained the raw forms like jkd, muay thai, wing chun, chin na, juijitsu but I didnt train like the guys in the gym... i put scenarios in my training and added force multiplyers(knives,guns) as well as multiple attackers.... I felt empowerd but I was infact confused and began fearing that my training would fail me if all these techniques werent available when I needed them...maybe one day I will meet someone who is "BETTER".....I never realized I had sacrificed the very basic necessities in my search for my own skill and my own style.... I wanted to be so good becuase I felt like since I had faced many there is no harm one man can do to me. I never realized that all my hard work existed under a SOCIAL/ANTI SOCIAL CURTAIN.... I realized that I had trained to deal with events in a social fashion by kicking,punching,grappling,joint locks, chokes, disarming, eye gouges and groin shots...I even trained to hit "pressure points".... but all socially meaning... "I am not going to kill you right here and now".... I had an epiphany... from mma to kimbo collins backyard brawl to youtube to comegetyousome fights, brawls and knockouts... all social and yes seemingly violent... but infact no where near "real violence"....
I was forced to turn my attention to the most shocking and horrible situations... columbine,911, virginia tech, plane hijackings, carjackings, home invasions, terrorist bombings,workplace shootings, hostage situations, kidnappings, rapes,armed robberies, gang violence, drug addicts, mental patients etc they are in the paper daily.... ASOCIAL SITUATIONS IN WHICH ALL MORAL REASON AND APTITUDE IS ABSENT... WHEN ONLY THE MOST PRIMAL AND PRIMITIVE CONTRACTS EXIST... IN BLOOD... IN DEATH
I began a quest in the "REALITY BASED" sector looking for the answers...looking for the right tools... what I found shocked me... ... I found most were doing the same thing but just with certain techniques involved.... every one had a different twist but "based on real world experience"... although based on asocial confrontation the physicality was still complex thru techniques and very elastic in nature, it was also governed by the rules "bigger better stonger" becuase the techniques require you to use speed and strength but never take into the consideration you may be slower and weaker at any point in a violent confrontation.... leaving you copitulating or assisting in your own injury or death... they all had the same thing in common... techniques for everything..... but to me...techniques apply when there are rules that govern the situation... what about when thare are no rules????? when its just you alone in the face of death.... all you have at your disposal is the most basic essentials... eveything becomes simple and honest... injure or be injured... kill or be killed... there is no technique in the face of that situation... only principle, only truth....