I wish I could empathize Xue, but I would probably move in and just make the changes I want to make and to hell with the neighbors, if they don't like it they could put up a fence.
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Would she feel forced and coerced into the deal and would that add resentment to the relationship? Help her to understand that it would be the same for you and trust her to being able to give you the same respect that you would give her opinions and feelings. If she still insists on getting the house I highly recommend marriage counseling as there are communication trust controlling and a host of other issues that will sooner or later need to be worked out.
A $20000 to $30000 repair tab is a big deal... That's something on the order of an entirely new roof or significant structural work.
I'd stay away unless there was one hell of a reason to buy.
Do you feel relieved now that it's been resolved? More importantly, do you feel relieved not to be moving in there? Just wondering ... that's how I usually know something really isn't meant to be.
I had a similar moment of discomfort last week when I did a drive-by of a condo I considered. The description was idyllic, and it really delivered. On the end of a dead-end street, facing a duck pond, quiet, pastoral. But when I walked up to the building, this middle-aged woman glared at me. She had the hardest face I've ever seen in my life, and it literally turned my stomach making smalltalk with her. She also turned out to be the downstairs neighbor to the unit. Never mind ...
These instincts are important. As disappointed as I was to meet her as a potential neighbor, I was grateful to know early on in the process rather than live with a mistake for several years.
Either way it seems to have worked out to your satisfaction, and I salute you.
Structural issues can be like that... unless and until you actually look, if things are behaving, you don't know about 'em. Until the wrong combination of winds hit or a little too much snow, or someone puts a waterbed in... or hangs a punching or whatever. Then things get rather exciting...
Of course, on the other end are things like, oh, a significant flooding issue caused by the dumb design of a row of slab-built townhouses that the guy who you're buying it (who's just flipping it) from covered over by adding fresh flooring, etc... And, thanks to the reasonable efforts to protect folks from being sued silly over mold, the paperwork protects him. Yes, I checked. After discovering the indoor pool effect a few days after settlement.:xtrmshock :angry: :tantrum: Did get it taken care of though...
Today I signed on with a program that helps home-buyers get "empowered." Help with credit, financial literacy, home ownership classes, and mortgage lenders who specialize in ferreting out special loans and grants for people who qualify. I'll take all the help I can get. :ultracool
Tomorrow I'm getting my condo appraised so I know just what my budget will be on my next purchase. And I'm touring a home on the market. It sounds like a fully functional fleabag, but affordable and in my target neighborhood. Wherever I move I'm going to make cosmetic changes anyway, so who cares if it's ugly now?
Don't worry Xue, you'll make it. So will I.
Flea,
Find yourself a good inspector. Start looking know so that you can check references thoroughly. Don't get stuck with a guy who's not experienced and simply the guy that the realtor's office knows...