Things you wish you could say outloud

[shesulsa]

Got Vodka?

**okay, the others I'm coming up with now are too mature for this area of the board**

 

[Topeng]

Of course I'll wait behind you in line while you find that coupon. Oh yes and now your'e gonna write a check too. Kill me please.

Sounds like oral diarrhea to me.

I'll get you a spoon, so you can eat my ***.

Why don't you get your dickbeaters off of my stuff before I f**k you up?

Your procreation rights have been revoked.

See this? This is my 'concerned' face.

 

[Carol]

That's my paycheck? Double it. Now.

 

[tellner]

Your parents? Tell them to stick around. I can marry them.

Hands the person two bucks When I get screwed I pay for it.
alternatively
Sure, but could you kiss me first?
Kiss you? Why?
Because I like to get kissed before someone ****s me in the ***.

 

[crushing]

No Angelina, I'm happily married. Why don't you and Ms. Alba go stalk someone else!

 

[KempoGuy06]

No Angelina, I'm happily married. Why don't you and Ms. Alba go stalk someone else!

LOL!!!!!

B

 

[zDom]

Why don't you get your fat *** up off that Wal-Mart ride-a-cart and get the jumbo bag of chocolate bars yourself?

 

[Sukerkin]

Thanks for raising a smile after a hard day, ladies and gents - I don't want to single out anyone as that implies a contest but Crushing made me laugh as something I'd genuinely quite like to be able to say .

 

[Archangel M]

Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

 

[MA-Caver]

Hey! Your intelligence is showing! (meaning the lack of it)

 

[Andy Moynihan]

"When you need it and don't have it, you'll sing a different tune".

 

[Archangel M]

“Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

“You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.

 

[terryl965]

Here is one of my favorite lines

that was not me but other personality


What do you mean I'm not in shape, round is a shape



Do I act as stupid as I look to you.

 

[grydth]

Two people at work, when asked about some mistakes, asserted that," We blame our mothers for many things." I replied that I, too, blamed their mothers for many things.

My assistant told me that visiting workmen were disturbing her when she was " trying to work." I told her that I would have to have outside workers over much more often.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

"I'm not as dumb as you look".

 

[terryl965]

You wake up in the morning and roll over from the night before and say do I know you.

 

[shesulsa]

No, you're not the man. If you could make decisions, balance the checkbook, make vacation arrangements, do dishes, laundry, clean the garage, parent the children without me? THEN you'd be the man.

Look, I know you wanna impress me with your lastability but I'm really kinda bored. Can we go to sleep now?

No I'm not done! How can I be done? When did we start???

You know I think my first time was better than you.

No, I don't think you stayed too long in the tanning booth - but please step away from the mocha-colored house. You're blending in and I can't see you.

Woman if you're going to fry your hair like that you should at least serve it up with ketchup, ranch or something.

COMBOVERS ... DON'T ... WORK!!!!

Hi Mom. Gawd, am I really gonna look like you?

 

[Archangel M]

Since the manbashing quips are flying I guess ill unleash this one.


Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

 

[Andy Moynihan]

No, you're not the man. If you could make decisions, balance the checkbook, make vacation arrangements, do dishes, laundry, clean the garage, parent the children without me? THEN you'd be the man.

Look, I know you wanna impress me with your lastability but I'm really kinda bored. Can we go to sleep now?

No I'm not done! How can I be done? When did we start???

You know I think my first time was better than you.

No, I don't think you stayed too long in the tanning booth - but please step away from the mocha-colored house. You're blending in and I can't see you.

Woman if you're going to fry your hair like that you should at least serve it up with ketchup, ranch or something.

COMBOVERS ... DON'T ... WORK!!!!

Hi Mom. Gawd, am I really gonna look like you?

Since the manbashing quips are flying I guess ill unleash this one.


Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

Right.

This is the Official Last Time I look into this thread whilst eating and/or drinking

 

[zDom]

If you are going to drive THAT slow, just pull over WALK!

Green means GO!!

WTF? You training for NASCAR? Slow down!!

(ok.. I actually DO say these out loud.. I just wish the other driver could hear me )